Meet Deondra Crippen

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Deondra Crippen. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Deondra below.

Deondra, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

I honestly don’t think I found my purpose… I think it found me. I’ve always heard the comment, “if you can trace your pain, then you’ll find your purpose”, and I truly believe that to be accurate in a lot of ways. The path that I’m currently on comes from experiencing the pain of abandonment, the effects of suppressed/unresolved trauma that spans the generations within my family, and lack, among several other things. I remember not having the language for some of the emotions I was dealing with inside and didn’t feel like anyone else would understand. So, like many others, I put the mask on to continue functioning and to avoid answering questions that I didn’t really have a response to.

I spent a lot of time alone when I wasn’t with my friends. I was a creative person with a huge imagination, so I wrote poems and short stories, as well as played with my Barbies to create scenes that I was actively living. I was also a tomboy, so I had things like kickball, football, riding my bike, and basketball with friends to channel some of the frustrations. Talking about things happening in my life with others was not part of the process for me; that was like taboo. I was raised in church, so I had knowledge of who God was and somewhat of a relationship with Him, so I prayed and left it at that. Although I was aware of some aspects of therapy and mental health challenges through other family members, there was still a huge stigma that came with going that route. Therapy meant “you had to be crazy”, because you were seeing a “shrink”. So, I just kept it in and used it to fuel my goals to do something different, but I was angry a lot of days. However, I seemed to be the one that other people felt comfortable talking to. Listening to others and helping them work through their challenges was more comfortable for me, so it became a norm.

Joining the military gave me an avenue to fund my dreams and it provided a different lifestyle. It also taught me about the possibilities for the future and placed me in situations that required me to show up differently. When I separated from the military and later made the decision to return to school, I decided to focus on mental health, because I had experienced the impact of unresolved mental health challenges. I had also become accustomed to being the confidante to so many, including those who had similar lived experiences. By the time classes started, I had identified how important it was to me to help build stronger individuals, which would help build stronger families, communities, and societies. I know the things I’ve been through were instrumental in making me the resilient woman I am today. However, it took years of working through my pain points and connecting with God and myself on a deeper level. It was my goal to ensure that I could help create that for others so they could possibly avoid the things I had already walked through, or at least begin the healing process a lot sooner.

As time went on, I understood that nothing we ever go through is wasted and that those hardships don’t define us. Instead, it becomes a part of our journey of becoming and brings us closer to our God given purpose. I truly believe that the things we’ve gone through become our testimony, and those testimonies are meant to be an illustration of how God can bring you through on the other side of things. I also know that although we can’t control some of the challenges and barriers we face, it is our responsibility to do the work to heal from the impact. When we allow it to stay suppressed, it creates a bigger challenge that affects us, and the next generation. Another quote I heard shared by a preacher I listen to sometimes stated, “whatever does not get transformed gets transferred.” That is true on so many levels. I believe I was chosen to be a generational curse breaker; within in my life and to help others in their lives. That is how I came to my purpose.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder/CEO of Rooted in Purpose Counseling, PLLC. I specialize in working with high-achieving Black and Hispanic/Latina business and veteran women who struggle with the effects of Intergenerational Trauma. Intergenerational Trauma is when the effects of traumatic experiences transfer across multiple generations within a family or culture. That is heavy work most times, because it addresses many aspects of what a person is rooted in (e.g. family functioning, connections, relationships, interactions, behavioral patterns, normalized chaos), as well as subsequent grief and loss.

The special thing about doing this work is that I have the opportunity to hold space and facilitate the healing process for some amazing women. Going to therapy requires a lot of work that is not always easy to do. It is an honor for me to see my clients, as well as others, begin to see the growth in themselves. It is so amazing to see them make connections through increased self-awareness and begin to see the changes they desire become reality. The healing process is not linear, and it has its grief points and discomfort. I don’t take it lightly when my clients have the courage to trust me with that process, or for them to choose me to work with as they trust themselves in a new way.

Grief and loss are another focal point in my work with clients. Therefore, I have a grief journal that I co-authored with a friend and colleague of mine titled: Grief ~ A Guide to Healing: Conquering the Challenges Related to Loss. The journal highlights some of the major aspects of the grief journey, both death related and ambiguous loss, and it allows the space for processing things in your private time. We plan to release an updated version of the journal in the future, which is currently still in the draft stages. Additionally, as things grow, I would like to expand my service offerings as well, so stay tuned.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Hmmm…. That’s a good question. I would have to say having compassion and empathy for others, walking in authenticity, and having the courage to keep going despite fear. As for my advice to others on their journey in these areas, I would have to highlight the importance of the spiritual growth that took place in my life. The thing that was helpful for me to obtain these qualities was when I deepened my relationship with God, which in turn helped me to connect with myself on a deeper level. I believe I naturally have compassion and empathy for others, but I also know that the life journey that I have walked has helped me to connect with others in a different way. I had to learn to respect my life story with the highs and lows. Knowing that we are all a work in progress, including myself, helped me to accept all the facets of who I was, which also helps me to give grace to others and to see beyond the flawed versions that can show up in them.

That ties into the authenticity piece for me as well. It took me a while, but I finally recognized that when I show up as the most authentic version of me, with all my imperfections, those are the times when my connections with others are most organic. Those parts are important when working with my clients as well, because for me to help them embrace themselves on a deeper level, I have to ensure I am working on those parts within myself also. Lastly, having courage despite the fear… well, that comes from lots of prayer. Many aspects of my journey have been scary… that’s just a reality. There are many times when I have to say, “Lord please give me the strength to take this step or that step” or “please show me what to do next”. I don’t always have the answers, and I’m okay with that. I know the One Who does, so that helps me to have courage despite the moments when I am afraid. That is what helps me to take leaps, because I know that just like He gave me the vision for certain things, He will also give me the necessary steps to take to get there when I am actively seeking Him. In those moments I learn more and more each day that courage and bravery isn’t moving forward without being afraid of the unknown… it is doing it anyway.

Being a therapist, I am also a proponent for therapy. That means, it took me doing the work myself so that I could work through my stuck points that limited me. That work helped me to get to the root of things so that I can step outside the box more often.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

The most impactful thing that my parents did for me was to make the decision to become parents even when the circumstances weren’t ideal and the path wasn’t clear. There is no perfect parent, and I say that as a parent myself. Children don’t come with a handbook that outlines every detail on how to raise them properly. So, when that decision is made, you are making a commitment to shaping another individual even when you don’t always have the proper tools to do that effectively. Despite the imperfections, my parents taught me how to persevere in the face of struggles, how to be courageous in the face of fear, how to tap into strength in the face of weariness, and how to trust God with all the details. My parents modeled what worked and what didn’t. They modeled what it meant to make something out of nothing and how to push through even on the toughest days. My parents also taught me about forgiveness, and how it was for me so that I could release the bitterness. They showed me what it means to love and to meet people where they are. I learned along the way that I had to respect the fact that my parent’s relationship with each other was different from my relationship with them. That helped me to address the things that I needed to address and release some of the others. Some of these things were taught directly and at other times indirectly. Our parents are the blueprint for us from the beginning. Even in their missteps, they were teaching me. I am so grateful for them, and although there are many areas that are still in a growing phase, it is helping me to learn to love without limits daily.

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