Meet Derek Bernard

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Derek Bernard. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Derek below.

Hi Derek, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

In general, it seems, when we discuss having a “purpose,” we think in terms of some productive output. What measure does one use to determine how well we’ve discovered our purpose? Is it the bottom lines in our bank accounts, the number of assets we have, or the number of accumulated experiences?

I’d imagine that even those who are fabulously successful in their chosen field or craft will have their own bouts of doubt about their level of personal fulfillment or any true discovery of meaning in their lives. But then I’ve met some who have “the dream job,” whatever that may be, but are still largely dissatisfied with their lives. Some, even to the point of deep despair. It makes me wonder what “purpose” actually is.

What does it mean to have found one’s purpose? If purpose is defined as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists,” I might argue that there is only purpose in a relative sense. The measure of us relative to the world in which we live, and among those we count as our “peers”—who seem to be everyone on the planet, in any genuine sense—but then within a field or activity, and it seems that any purpose that finds its measure in the relative sense will almost inevitably find its own end: a musician who plays to a sold-out stadium, a writer who has a bestseller, a person who has had their go as the leader of a nation, etc.

I’ve discovered, on even the smallest of levels, that once we’ve attained a thing, it leaves us alone with a deep sense of longing or yearning. Some may characterize this feeling as “emptiness,” but one thing I’ve noticed is that this emptiness is never not there. It’s always with us. A steady companion. For years I struggled with this sense of emptiness, wishing it weren’t there, or wishing it were some other, more thoroughly satisfying sensation. But eventually, I came to understand that I would immediately move in some direction; I reach for some “satisfier” that would relieve me of the burden of my emptiness, and it always would, but it was always only for a time. For a brief period, some pleasurable experience is had, and I’ve somehow maximized my moment away from a sensation of pain into one of pleasure. But I was always left, again and again, with that which is never not there.

At one point, I understood that if there is no relief from that sensation, meaning that it never abates, not ever, in any true sense, then I best begin to be on better terms with it. Befriend it, as it were. What was I, crazy? Maybe. But in sitting with that emptiness, it eventually became more palatable. It became more than a frantic, mad rush of escapism. It somehow, subtly, became a kind of engine; something that began to propel me through my days.

And what do those look like?

Well, I’ve always been of the creative sort. Always doing something or other that explored conjuring something into the world from nowhere in particular. Writing thoughts and feelings in the form of a narrative, or poetry, writing and playing music, songs, singing, moving my body, engaging in friendly interaction, or interesting dialogues, whether mundane, philosophical, or spiritual. My mind always seems to gravitate toward what it means “to be.” What is “meaning” in a universe that is completely bereft of any meaning whatsoever? And yet meaning abounds in the world around us, which indicates to me that any meaning this life seems to have is only that which we give it.

It took me some time to arrive at such a place with regard to meaning; I went through a dark time in my late thirties around what this meant to me.

A turning point for me came when I left my corporate career behind. Which must have seemed like insanity to those who were in my life, but in a world where our days are numbered, I couldn’t see myself spending another one of those days doing something that felt utterly meaningless to me. “What was I going to do?” was a common question that I was asked. Another common statement was “Well, you’re unemployed now…” as if somehow gainful employment was what gave life its purpose. There may have been purposes for doing this or that, but they weren’t my purposes; I knew that it wasn’t my purpose. I still didn’t know what that was. I had a vague sense of it. A kind of faint glow way off in the distance. Not to any one location, but toward something that called to me.

At the time, I had been studying creative arts like improv theater, which I did for about five years, performing in troupes and festivals in San Francisco. And I had been learning to play music, sing, and write songs. I was the lead singer in a band I had started called Haberdasher, with big dreams of becoming a rock star, but I also understood that to be a long shot, so in lieu of any actualized fantasy life, I was left with the essence of me, and what I was to do with the rest of my days, and to answer the question of how to accomplish that logistically, financially; the rent always seems to need to be paid.

So I started teaching. I had been playing guitar and singing and performing for a number of years up to that point, and since I was just okay with the guitar, I focused more on the performance aspect of playing and singing together. I was essentially looking for ways to provide a useful product. What I eventually discovered was that anyone I was teaching quickly became a friend. The student/teacher dynamic may have been present, but in reality, it was in the intimacy of friendship that facilitated any learning. And that learning was always reciprocal in some way.

Over the years, the interactions with friends developed into an understanding of helping others find it within themselves to access their innate creativity, their creative self-expression. I somehow discovered that a bit of conversation inquiring into the nature of life helped people gain that access, in whatever limited or limitless fashion. But was this my purpose? Maybe. It definitely feels fulfilling to meet people, access a deep and sometimes powerful feeling that is shared, and from that place co-create an individual who is independent, self-reliant, and creative—in this case, using music and singing as the metaphor.

But for some reason, that isn’t where things end. In fact, the nature of our purpose may be without some finalized resolution. I still feel the intensity of my yearning, and it still propels me through my days. I wrote a book about accessing creativity mechanically through the guitar, which is secretly a method for meditation. The culmination of the past ten years on the job. And yet, still, the yearning. So I write: music, sometimes, my thoughts, sometimes, poetry, sometimes. I may have enough poems for a couple of books.

And will any of that find me in a resolved state? I suspect not. I suspect that to find our purpose is to listen to that sense emanating from within, to move in the direction it seems to be pointing. Why do this? I have my own reasons. I’m not entirely without the ambition of ego, although that seems to be slowly giving way to following the signal of my yearning, wherever that leads.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’ve recently become an author after writing a book on my approach to teaching people how to play music using the guitar. Though, holistically, I teach creative self-expression through music and the voice. My journey has been a diverse set of experiences, from a personal study of philosophy and spirituality to performing in improv theater and leading a band. These experiences have all contributed to my approach to teaching and creative expression.

What makes my life an adventure is exploring it at all of the levels I have access to and an awareness of, and this naturally includes the work I do with people to unlock aspects of their beings into a natural, creative self-expression. I write thoughts and feelings about life and the world, poetry, music. I run a TikTok channel called Freestyle Philosophers where I discuss the world with a philosophical approach, more recently focusing on AI and the impact it will seemingly have on the world in which we live.

At the heart of everything I do is the belief that creativity is a powerful force for personal and collective transformation. Whether through teaching, writing, or digital content, my goal is to inspire and equip others to express themselves fully and authentically, contributing their unique gifts to the world.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

It’s funny. I’m just a dude. What do I know about anything but what I’ve picked up along the way by trial and error? As far as advice is concerned, it seems each of us is different, and discovering the path in front of you has very little to do with the path I find in front of me, but I’ll give this a shot:

1. Resilience and Adaptability: Attempting to figure out how to live your life is actually pretty challenging. It’s not something you’re taught in school, which is a hotbed of technical and mechanical acquisition of skills. Whatever understanding is garnered is gleaned in spite of the process, not necessarily because of it. Having said that, failure is a critical component of any process of development, growth, and learning. While failure can mean you’ve failed in an ultimate sense, for the most part, that never materializes until you’ve given up entirely on anything you might be after. In improv, when you’re onstage in front of people making stuff up, failure happens A LOT. Some joke doesn’t land or some idea falls flat, but one thing you might discover, since life is improv, from my perspective, is that the awkwardness that manifests in failure is navigable if you can just keep your wits about you. That means developing a kind of fondness for the feeling of failure.

2. Creative Expression and Performance Skills: Pursuant to the idea of feeling fine with mini moments of failure, creativity and the performance of it are muscles that can be worked if you’re so called, which means that you can discover the depths of yourself by exploring it. The natural fear that arises in relation to your creative expression, if fully faced, will introduce you to deeper aspects of your being. It’s not the only aspect of your being that can be explored, though it does provide an avenue for the exploration of your inner world, which will naturally express itself in your outer world over time. It works the same way when you’re dealing with a challenging situation, whether it’s stress at work or a broken heart; this work will find inroads to your experiences.

3. Philosophical and Spiritual Insights: Where would I be if I hadn’t embarked upon the study of spirituality and philosophy? They provide the basis for the approach to the work that I do. Spirituality suffuses everything I do from moment to moment, and philosophy naturally extends a framework into teaching and creative self-expression. Establishing a meditation practice is probably a good idea for everyone, as well as a moment-to-moment breathing practice that allows for mindfully exploring your experience along the edge of your inner planes and your outward experience.

As for advice, earnestly engage in your life, honestly embrace your setbacks, and incorporate them into your learning and growth. Read a lot from a wide array of topics that are not only pertinent to your work but also to your areas of personal interest. It takes the brain a fifth of a second to take in a visual stimulus and process it. Since a fifth of a second is not a trivial amount of time when it comes to being hit by a bus or pounced on by a puma, the brain predicts what the future will likely be and projects that ahead of us. It stands to reason that the more knowledge and understanding you cultivate for yourself, the more enriched and enhanced the experience your brain predicts for you will be.

Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?

Success is an interesting thing. In the world we have a few metrics that attempt to qualify the idea for each of us, but since I’m working with a day-to-day idea of success, and the ability to navigate my life through all the challenges: the broken hearts, the joyful interactions, the stresses, the earnestness of the work. By far the person who has been the most helpful in deepening my awareness and understanding is a man name Danny Castro. His creative insight and understanding of this life has been a great boon.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://haberdasherband.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derekbernard/
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@freestylephilosophers?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc