Meet Deseeré Cruz Transformational Love Coach

We were lucky to catch up with Deseeré Cruz Transformational Love Coach recently and have shared our conversation below.

Deseeré Cruz, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

My confidence and self-esteem have always been a struggle for me until a few years ago. I grew up in a pretty supportive home where my parents were always encouraging me and supporting my academics and athletics. Despite that, I still felt like I wasn’t enough. I compared myself to the achievements of others a lot. And comparison is a true cause of suffering. This led to me becoming an “over-achiever” who still felt the need to prove herself. These feelings became even stronger in my senior year of college when I was trying to decide what to do after graduation.

I vividly remember a conversation with my step-brother, who had recently finished law school. When I expressed my desire to become a lawyer, he told me in a rather drawn-out way that he didn’t think I could handle law school and wouldn’t make it as a lawyer. Though his intentions may have been good, the impact of someone I admired not believing in my abilities was discouraging. This negativity lingered, despite my success in various ventures. I quickly climbed the career ladder and was presented with numerous opportunities, yet I never felt “enough.”

The birth of my first child brought a new wave of self-doubt. Voices crept in, telling me I wouldn’t be a good mother, that I didn’t know what I was doing, and that I couldn’t balance motherhood with my career. These voices consumed me and I began reshaping myself to fit others’ expectations, resulting in misery and a loss of my true self.

After my divorce, I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself and my desires. I longed for time freedom, to be an exemplary mother, generate income independently while helping others. But before I could inspire others, I had to embody these qualities. I delved deep into silencing those negative voices, learning to love and cherish myself. Though I still appreciate external affirmations, I now seek validation from within. I connect with my higher self, whose gentle voice speaks truer than the criticisms of others. I no longer compare myself to others, only to my own actions and who I want to be in the future.

As I undertook this inner work, I developed exercises and self-awareness questions that I now use with every client. To this day, I revisit them for myself. True confidence and self-esteem stem from acknowledging and cherishing your own accomplishments, offering yourself grace and forgiveness, and prioritizing self-love. It involves making decisions from a place of love rather than fear of judgment. Love stands as my core value, and when I align with it, I feel empowered to guide others on a similar journey.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I work with ambitious, professional women who are navigating the aftermath of toxic relationships, undergoing major life transitions like career changes or divorce, and often neglect self-care in the process of prioritizing others. I help these women to rebuild their self-esteem, rediscover their individual identity, and foster a powerful sense of self-empowerment. This transformative journey is tailored to guide women in asserting their needs and desires confidently, enabling them to balance their professional aspirations with personal well-being, and cultivate a life of self-love and fulfillment.

I am a mother of two boys, I have transformed my relationship with my parents, ex-husband and friends, I spend my time doing the things I love and am surrounded by powerful, supportive and successful women everyday.

I make my own schedule, make my own money, and live my life by my design from desire always from desire,

but it wasn’t always like that. I felt like I had done all of the should in life as a Gen Xer, I went to college got good grades had a career bought the house had the baby had a corporate job but I lost my self in the process I fell victim to martyrdom and losing my identity in everyone else around me. I wouldn’t even spend money for me to become a lactation consultant which wasn’t actually my calling but after realizing that I lost my identity, As a professional with a background in corporate training and sales, I’ve experienced the loss of self in pursuit of success. College, career, family – I checked all the boxes.

So in 2014, I was sitting in the dark after putting the boys to bed. I was working on my second bottle of wine and scrolling the internet while watching netflix when I came across an event about connection and desire. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I knew that I needed help with both. I attended the event the following week and at the end of the event a woman in the front row turned around looked directly at me, she said “you can have anything you want if you just ask for it.” It hit me like a bullet, I wasn’t asking for anything that really mattered to me. I was desperate so I asked for help and she became my first life coach. It wasn’t until she asked me, ‘What do you want? And I was screaming at her that I didn’t know, ’ that I began my journey into personal development and self-love.”

Several months later, I got my divorce, invested in myself and built a 6 figure business as a single mom. Something I never thought I could do prior to that moment of realizing, I was worthy, I was loved, I was capable and I just needed to love myself enough to ask for what I wanted and say yes to myself.

For the last 10 years I’ve been coaching people to transform their lives in health, wealth, life and love and one major theme that I’ve observed in every single one of them is that no matter what they’ve achieved, they get stuck at some point, because they lack true self-love.

Over the years of coaching I developed a method to guide them to achieve that self love that rockets people forward into success, joy and balance.

There are three steps this method.

The first one is awareness, being aware of our old patterns, how we’ve behaved where we learned them and rewriting those behaviors. Being aware of our fears, where they come from how they affect us, and how they influence our behavior and being aware of our desires. Where do these desires come from?

The second step in this method is really to clear out those past traumas the things that keep us from moving forward, to clear out the resentment and replace it with a Mindset that brings us more of what we want, and shift our beliefs from paranoia to Pronoia. Shifting our beliefs from the idea that we are a victim, that the world is conspiring against us into a Victor mindset that the world is actually conspiring our favor,

and the third is that implementation part implementing our new standards of how we treat ourselves and what we allow in our lives, implementing your new boundaries, and then stepping into your future self, and embodying that future self so much so that your thoughts, patterns, beliefs, and behaviors are now of individuals that truly love themselves. And when you truly love yourself, you act differently, and when you act differently, you get different results.

This last one can be the most challenging. Because it is when people will start to see you differently because you see yourself differently. The people that benefited from you having no boundaries or personal identity will push against this new version of you. They will call you selfish, and self centered. But Self love is not selfish! When someone calls you selfish, they are usually projecting their own insecurities and lack of love on you. They are really saying “how dare you pay attention to yourself than to me!” Boundaries are not about another person, they are about you and what you want in your life. The are about loving yourself. Self-love is not a luxury; it is an essential component of a successful and fulfilling life.

Over the years I have always coached one on one intensively. I noticed that this wasn’t enough. I wanted to help more people and more rapidly. So for the last 6 months I have been working on developing a group program that will start in July. It is transformational journey with weekly lessons, exercises and a community to support you in becoming the love of your own life and loving your life.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

see previous answer

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is the first book I recommend to all of my friends, colleagues and clients. It has helped me numerous times with self reflection on my own blocks to success and given me insight into the challenges we all face. Gay identifies the 4 major upper limit problems that people face when they are about to take a “big leap” in their life and stop themselves from success. I have used his suggestions many times and also incorporated exercises of my own design to help my clients over come these upper limits and live in their personal fullness.

Contact Info:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/transformationlifejourney
• Other: https://linktr.ee/deseeremcruz

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