Meet Diana Cius

We were lucky to catch up with Diana Cius recently and have shared our conversation below.

Diana , so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?

Human connections. By how my words and actions affect others and in turn how their reactions affect me.
Not too long ago my empathy, that I’d fostered all my life, was at an all-time low during a dark and empty period in my life. My apathy got the better of me, I felt hopeless, disinterested, I just didn’t care about anyone or even myself. Yet a single interaction with another person was all it took to alter my whole outlook and change the trajectory of my story.
I started a new job only 3 days after my mother’s funeral. While I was given the option of pushing out my start date a few weeks by HR, I had declined. I needed to start work again. We also desperately needed another income after I was laid off just before Christmas 2023.
I believe things aways happen for a reason. I was able to spend the previous 6 weeks being my mom’s primary caregiver and nurse, her advocate and final confidant; My days had blurred into nights, my nights into days where every day felt the same yet was uniquely different as I cared for my terminally ill mom. I really didn’t know what to do with myself now that she was gone, empty days with only my own thoughts terrified me. I craved routine again.
Also, my mom had been so overjoyed when she learned of the new job I had accepted mere weeks from her eventual death, that I felt I owed it to her.
Yet between the intense grief, endless tears, sleepless nights, poor diet, having to care for my teenage sons both physically and emotionally (who were themselves fiercely grieving the loss of their grandmother), coupled with the complete and utter exhaustion that hung off my bones, I don’t think I really had the mental faculties to properly think through what returning to work that early might actually be like. At a brand-new job, no less.
When I finally stepped up to the security desk that morning on my first day to pick up my employee pass, I was almost to tears. From the time I left my house earlier that morning I was met with human interaction after interaction that left me feeling worse, worthless, and hopeless. My raw soul was exposed to a cold and bitter February wind, and people were just poking their fingers inside for the hell of it.
I almost went home.

It’s almost as if some people can smell that “wounded-animal” in others, seeking it out in the hopes it can be used in some way to create a false sense of power. Its unfortunately a not-so-uncommon occurrence where maybe on a subconscious level there’s a belief that one’s self-worth can only be built up by tearing someone else’s down, no matter how fragile that person may appear. Yet those who break others down are, more often than, wounded themselves; Negativity begets negativity, until everyone’s raw soul is bleeding out.

As I turned to leave with my head hung low, pretending to search through my coat pockets just so people wouldn’t notice the wretched look on my face, I experienced an act of kindness so simple yet so altering it shook my morning with such force that it reverberated through to the end of my day.
The security supervisor called me back and stared at my puffy face, my eyes swimming in tears that were about to breach and gave me a beaming smile unlike any other I’d seen before nor since. She asked for my name, and what she could help me.

She informed me that unfortunately my employee pass wasn’t ready. “Princess Diana! What a fitting name for a beautiful woman like you! Don’t worry, leave it to me. I will have your pass ready very quickly!” While I neither felt beautiful nor regal in any way her words were a salve, and her promise gave me hope.

When I returned to the desk 15 minutes later my pass was ready, just as Fauzia had promised. So, I made her a promise. I told her that because she had shown me a bit of kindness this morning, I would make a conscious effort to show a bit of kindness to someone else today in the hopes that it impacts them as much as hers did me. I mentioned I had felt a constant, heavy, greyness about me ever since my mom died 2 weeks ago, but I felt she let a little light finally in.

She reached over that desk and hugged me so hard and told she too had also suffered a recent loss and that my words had just done that for her.

Gone was the greyscale lens that I had grown accustomed to looking through. There was light again, and hope, and I craved making new connections with people once again. The rest of my day, and my weeks, and my months since then have steadily gotten better. I was proud of my performance and the work I was doing at my job; I was making good friendships. I was fund raising, and volunteering, and hopefully inspiring people to do the same.

Standing in the checkout line of a grocery store that evening of my first day, while ruminating about everything that had transpired in the weeks culminating to my encounter that morning, I impulsively purchased all the groceries of the customer behind me. I had made eye contact with an exhausted looking mom with 2 wailing tots in her cart. She looked like she needed a good cry too.
And I swear I saw a grey cloud lift from her as she returned my smile.

This connection with another person changed my outlook; it proved to me that people do care and that I was capable of caring right back.

Empathy within the business world is almost an oxymoron if you believe the misconception that all corporate work environments are cut-throat with an “every man for himself” ideology. Think Gordon Gekko in Wall St.
I want to break this stereotype and lead by example with empathy as the guiding tenet of my career and how I aim to inspire others.
I find that empathy is fostered by both nature and nurture.
Nature (or the empathy I’m born with) is tied to single-nucleotide polymorphism in a dopamine-related gene that predisposes me to apathy, empathy’s opposite.
Layman’s terms? I can’t change this.
But I can nurture and grow my innate empathy through human connections and by learning through those interactions with others. It is ever changing.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a business professional today, but the journey that led me here is rather full of twists and turns. If you were to ask a then 19-year-old me if I could see myself where I am today, in this career, in this field, she would emphatically tell you “Absolutely not!”
My mother called me her “perpetual student”. Forever curious, always restless, and happiest when learning something new. I like to call myself “A Jill of all trades, and a master of none (but with an adequate working knowledge of most of it)”.
As such, my educational-and-career tapestry is woven with many diverse threads: studying Health Sciences at university, studying restaurant and hotel management, working in the restaurant and hospitality industry in Toronto, working in retail Pharmacy, studying business, and finally a product career within technology and analytics at a large Canadian pharmacy retailer.
While on that journey I had built the foundation of who I am as a professional, learned the importance of how others perceive me, and how to effectively get people to notice the parts of me that shine. I was unknowingly building my brand long before having a brand was a thing.
My brand is Altruistic, Balanced, and Collaborative. The ABC of me. This is not only how I live my professional life, but more importantly how I live my personal life, because when your brand is just your core values but amplified, it’s easy to stay true to yourself. People like authenticity.
Within my current role, I am a product owner responsible for maximizing value of various projects within my portfolio for that major Canadian retail pharmacy chain. I love what I do because it combines my love of innovation, healthcare, and helping people – by providing pharmacies the cutting-edge tools they need to keep Canadians healthy. I get to work daily with likeminded individuals from many cross-functional teams, share ideas, and collaborate on creating some pretty cool new features. I find nothing so rewarding as when a project I’ve worked on comes to fruition, and the positive feedback I get from within my company and from our customers validates my hard work. My brand has helped me succeed to get where I am and will be pivotal in getting me to where I want to be.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Perspective-taking/a shifting mindset.

Having the ability to see something from someone else’s point of view (especially if it is in direct conflict with my own) has had several benefits that helped me in my journey.
1. It lets others know I value their perspective, which in turn creates trust.
2. It signals to others that their viewpoints and ideas are valid too, and that I am receptive of them. This can lead to better brainstorming, simpler solutioning, and effective problem solving within my team.
3. And I always learn something new.

Effective Collaboration

Getting a team to effectively work together is integral to not only the project’s success, but personal success as well. It’s a single skill that is really several that blend well together.
You need to actively listen and not just wait for your turn to be heard, you need the ability and willingness to change your perspective, to have the fortitude to admit that your way might not be the only way or even the correct way to do something, and finally posess a connection with your team that gets them all focused on a common goal.

Finally, Humor!

Laughter is a universal language. It creates stronger connections between people by breaking down barriers, brings levity to otherwise high stress situations, and creates comradery with others. All key factors that lead to a successful and fulfilling career path.
It’s not uncommon for me to join internal virtual meetings with a funny or amusing background (one that is appropriate in a corporate setting), as it can set the mood for the next hour we are all stuck together. I’m prone to poking fun at myself to let others know “Hey, I’m only human too!” And a well-timed wisecrack or dry comment will always diffuse a tense situation in any meeting and provide a much needed reset . I use my humor to bring people along for the ride, where my success is their success and vice versa, all while having sore sides from laughing too hard.
My advice to others just starting out is to not take yourself too seriously. All work and no play sure makes Jack look good on paper, but it also makes him very dull in person. And where’s the fun in that?
While not taking yourself too seriously, do take others seriously. By that I mean their experiences, their ideas, and their feelings. When you build that connection with people and learn from their stories it will only enrich your life if you take the time to listen.

Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?

“Look for the helpers”. This Mr. Rogers quote has stuck with me for almost 40 years.
In every situation and in any environment, there will always be someone that can help me with a challenge or struggle that I’m facing.
I am naturally drawn to people who exemplify the very qualities I want to see in myself – this has led me to easily find those helpers who can assist me in developing qualities and skills to use in challenging times in my career, or my life in general.

There are several examples in the various fields I have worked in, but a couple stick out in my mind above the rest.
One is every sous-chef and chef I had the pleasure of ever working with in restaurants. They took time out of very hectic work days to mentor and teach me as a fledgling cook. The outcome was 2-fold – I learned the necessary skills that would ensure my success as a chef, but I was also provided with a tangible example of how I wanted to mentor others.

Another is my current director who I first met almost 15 years ago just as I just started out in the corporate world (we have both long since left this employer).
I was in an entirely new field and work environment that I wasn’t used to, the comradery prevalent in the kitchen-world I had just left was non-existent here, and employees tended to gate-keep knowledge in the hopes they appeared more valuable to our employer. And I was struggling.
I was really beginning to second guess my decision to change careers when one day he called me over to his desk. He took the time to show and teach me all about an exciting new initiative that was just about to launch. He enjoyed knowledge sharing, and I hope the excitement on my face showed him just how thankful I was for the opportunity to learn something new.
He didn’t have to. But he was exemplifying his innate altruism, a trait that I highly regarded in others and greatly valued. It was an act that held no benefit to him, but to me it meant the world. Thank you Gurpreet.