Meet Dr. Candice Oshunfunke

We recently connected with Dr. Candice Oshunfunke and have shared our conversation below.

Dr. Candice , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

I can say with confidence that I come from a bloodline of people who are very resilient and strong. My grandmother was one of those people. She had 6 children by the time she was 30 and migrated from Tennessee to Indiana and from there to NY while at this time having children and working during a time where for Black people it wasn’t the easiest experience. She also attended night school for her GED when she was well into her adult years and still persevered because it was what she sought out and wanted. I also get my resilience from my mother who I watched raised 3 girls by herself on public assistance. I have one child and in a different position than she was and I often tell her how much I am in awe of her to be able to do such a thing mostly alone over the course of our lives. She would share how she had to do what she had to do and made it work. I’m sure it was difficult for her but watching her sacrifice, hard working habits it taught me that I didn’t have the luxury to be tired. I know that my people have suffered much tougher conditions and did what they needed to do however it doesn’t take a way from the importance of honoring our emotions in those spaces as well. I also have also had an intrisic motivation that though I grew up in the inner city with violence and other traumatic experiences I knew that I wanted something different in my life. I also had the support and push from my family to keep me going on the track I was going on by affirming me and motivating me to stay on track even though I was struggling in moments. I’ve learned that I have to focus within to get what I need when it comes to resilience. I grew up in humble beginnings which also contributes to my resilience growing up in an impoverished and violent stricken community it has you grow up quickly and navigating life while at the same time trying to maintain a childhood which was challenging but it was character building in the sense that I was able to learn the skills to persevere difficult times.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

In my primary work I’m a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist who has a group practice and holds a holistic trauma informed perspective and incorporates a transpersonal psychology and post-traumatic growth perspective. Over the years prior to getting into my spiritual healing work I was told during a reading that I was not operating in my true self and I had a missing healing component. I discovered the healing practice of shamanic tantra through my teacher. In this process I’ve become a tantric shaman through the personal work that has been done in addition to the work that I have assisted in with others. At this point I am a tantric shaman, heart work practitioner, oracle, and teacher. I have learned so much over these years in walking more and more into my purpose. The work that I do is very unique and very special and I hold it dear especially as it relates to assisting others in their healing journeys. I have understand the power of life force energy (Chi) and understanding how to be intentional in it for the purposes of healing and transformation. The integration of this work with my therapy work has been an amazing process and seeing how much my clients have grown over time is something that I am very excited about. I’m also excited of the fact that some of them are open to these types of practices for the sake of their overall mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. I also incorporate herbal medicine in my work for mental health and physical health for my clients on both my mental health work and spiritual work. I always share that this is not to replace conventional medicine but to add to it in any way that could be helpful. To witness individuals in transformation sometimes even in the very moment I get to witness it, its an amazing experience.

Within the last year my healing partner and I have started a business called The Two Ladies where we host different workshops, classes, and events for the community as well as doing community service work for different organizations providing spiritual and energetic healing work. We have upcoming workshops on healing the inner child starting in October as well as another event for women regarding self-love and pleasure and healing their wombspaces in December. There is also an ongoing ancestor class that we provide to those who want to learn more about their ancestors as well as altar building and protection to help others who are in tuned with the work to have some form of guidance. In the upcoming year we will have a host of events, workshops, and classes that the community can attend.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

In reflecting back three qualities that were most impactful for me is

Being proactive: I learned early from one of my first mentors that I can expect to be spoon fed and to learn to figure out things for myself and taking the initiative to do things. I had to learn early, though not expected not to expect things to come to me but to work for it because its something I desire and want. If I don’t know the meaning of a thing instead of asking my mentor I ask myself did I look it up for myself yet? If not then I know to do so. I’ve recognized the importance of being proactive when there are things that need to get done and not expecting others to do these things for you.

Advocating for self: One of my mentors in my doctoral program shared this with me after an incident where I was treated unfairly. She shared clearly “I can advocate for you all day but if you don’t do it for yourself its not going to make much of a difference” Over the years even when its difficult I have learned to create the habit of courageous conversations and being comfortable with being uncomfortable when it comes to speaking up for self and advocating when something feels wrong or unfair, especially in business.

Take care of self: I often give doses of my own medicine and share the importance of putting self first and setting boundaries as to assist in preventing compassion fatigue and burnout. If I’m no good for me then there is no way for me to be good for others especially in the capacity as a healer. I take quarterly week breaks throughout the year as a balance to provide myself respite and it has been the best decision I have made. In December I take two weeks off to enjoy the holidays with family and friends as well as travel if I can.

For those starting off its about giving self grace and staying present in these things. In my mentoring I share with my mentees and supervisee’s the importance of being proactive. I share the importance of that when it comes to not falling in the cracks and dreams and hopes not happening because of the lack of proactivity. If that is a struggle then its looking into why it is a struggle. Is it a lack of confidence, not trusting self, being lackadaisical? These are important questions to ask. The same goes for the other two skills search internally and honor yourself to ensure that they’re advocating for self as well as taking care of self. Burnout in the helping professions is very common and a lot of it has to do with overworking and not taking care of self in the same capacity. It is important to always keep that in the forefront and to always have faith in self when it comes to navigating difficult situations. Having an accountability partner is also beneficial to keep them on task with these skills to ensure that they are following through for themselves.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

The number one obstacle for me at this point is continuing to have faith in myself. I am very intuitive in nature and sometimes go against myself more times than others, however each time that I respond to my intuition whether I agree or not its always accurate. I understand and know that the intuition is infinite as it comes directly from source which resides inside of all of us. I tell people often that faith simply requires trust and love. I understand the importance about starting with self when it comes to engagement with others, and overall life. Everything flows out from the self. So in trusting self you navigate life much differently. I have been in the ebbs and flows of this process for most of my life. Though ambitious and have accomplished a lot I still find myself at times struggling with having faith in myself. I understand that faith is something that does not need to be seen vs belief where you need a thing to see tangibly. However even if I landed in belief my accomplishments should be enough to show me to “believe.” Faith on the other hand doesnt require anything its just something you know without any evidence which is an internal process that no one can take away from you. I find stillness and peace within myself through meditation to remind myself of who I am and what I am capable of. I also have to sit and reflect on all that I have been through over my life and how I have succeeded. I remember one of my mentors/committee members on my dissertation asked me given the population that I studied (low-income, African American, who witnessed violence) which was my experience growing up, how did I make it? I remember being in tears sharing how I had the faith in myself and God to make it through and move beyond my circumstances and recognizing even now that God is within so by having faith in God I have faith in me.

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Image Credits

Pictures: Marc Norsworthy & Co.
Makeup: HXProfessional

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