Meet Dr. Charleanea Arellano

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dr. Charleanea Arellano a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Dr. Charleanea, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

My story begins in the shadows of neglect, abuse, and abandonment. As a child, I was left to navigate a world that felt harsh, unpredictable, and unsafe—a world where love, safety, and belonging were elusive dreams rather than guarantees. Home, which should have been a sanctuary, was a place where survival often meant shielding myself from harm. Vulnerability wasn’t a luxury I could afford, and I learned early on that no one was coming to rescue me. If I were going to survive, I would have to save myself.

One of my earliest lessons was that relying on others often led to hurt and disappointment. I internalized the belief that my needs were too much and that asking for help would only make me a burden. So I told myself that if no one else would take care of me, I would do it alone. Fierce independence became my armor, my survival mechanism. It gave me power and control in an otherwise scary and unpredictable world. But behind that independence lay a silent hope that someone would notice the little girl carrying far more than her share of the weight.

By the time I reached my teenage years, I had fully embraced the idea that asking for help was dangerous. I taught myself to expect nothing from anyone because expecting nothing meant I didn’t have to endure the sting of rejection. My resourcefulness became both my superpower and my prison. I prided myself on my ability to figure things out alone and to carry burdens without complaint. But underneath that pride was a fear so deep I rarely acknowledged it. If I let someone in, they might see how much I needed them and longed to be cared for—and that vulnerability felt too risky. So I closed the door and locked it tight.

But independence alone wasn’t enough to quiet the ache inside me. There was another layer to how I coped—hustling for my worth. Being unseen and unheard planted the seeds of my relentless drive to achieve. If no one else could recognize my value, I would prove it to them in ways they couldn’t ignore. I turned my pain into fuel and channeled it into accomplishment after accomplishment. Hustling became my lifeline, my way of navigating the world. I thought that if I could achieve more, push harder, and be better, I might finally silence that voice inside that whispered I wasn’t enough.

Yet, as much as I wanted to outrun that voice, the very act of facing it helped me uncover my resilience. Because resilience wasn’t just about enduring or surviving—it was about summoning the courage to turn inward and face the wounds of my childhood. It was about compassion for the scared little girl inside me who learned to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. It was about forgiveness—to release myself from the chains of victimhood that only kept me tethered to the pain. And most importantly, it was about trusting that the adversity I faced had a greater purpose.

That purpose wasn’t immediately clear to me, and it certainly didn’t make the pain feel less sharp then. But as I’ve grown and reflected, I’ve come to understand that my experiences taught me lessons I never could have learned otherwise. They shaped me into someone who knows how to persevere and can turn pain into power and adversity into wisdom. I realized that the wounds of my past weren’t just scars—they were the foundation for my growth, strength, and capacity to help others heal.

Resilience, for me, is about more than surviving the storm. It’s about stepping into the eye of it, even when it’s terrifying, and finding the strength to heal. It’s about learning to trust the process of transformation, even when the path feels uncertain. And it’s about believing that every hardship, no matter how painful, holds the potential to shape us into the people we’re meant to become.

Today, my resilience is no longer about survival but thriving. It’s about embracing the parts of me I once felt I had to hide. It’s about showing up fully, even when it feels vulnerable. It’s about learning to lean on others, knowing that true strength comes from allowing ourselves to be seen and supported. Most of all, it’s about honoring the journey that brought me here and using my story to help others find their own strength and power.

Resilience, I’ve come to learn, is not the absence of struggle—it’s about the courage to face our pain, the compassion to heal our wounds, and the trust to believe that every experience—no matter how difficult—has a purpose. It is about the unshakable faith that, no matter how dark or overwhelming the moment feels, I carry within me the strength and resources to rise. And perhaps just as importantly, it’s about trusting that I don’t have to go it alone—that the Universe will conspire to provide the support, guidance, and love I need when I need it most. It is also about trusting that each challenge I face is not here to break me but to shape me, sculpting me into a stronger, wiser, and more expansive version of myself. Resilience is the quiet yet powerful belief that even in the face of life’s storms, I will not only survive—I will emerge transformed with a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am capable of.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Through decades of healing, growing, and learning, I’ve transformed my life from one of survival into one of power and purpose. My lived experience isn’t just my past—it’s the foundation of my work.

Over the past 30 years, I’ve helped hundreds of clients rise from adversity, break through limiting beliefs, and reconnect to the truth of who they are. I believe in transformation that moves one beyond insight into action. My approach combines three principles: (1) Lived experience is wisdom. Your story holds power and I will help you reclaim it; (2) Healing is moving forward. Reflection and insight matters, but real change happens when we take action; and (3) You already have everything you need, my job is to help you see it. I am not here to “fix” you— because you aren’t broken. I’m here to walk with you as you step into your power.

I have helped others through one-on-one deep transformational coaching, inspirational talking engagements and keynote address, my blog, UNSHRINKING, and my podcast, SHE IS MOTHER.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Looking back, I have learned that the three most powerful things we can embrace are: (1) Owning your story–your power and purpose are treasures within it; (2) Using your adversity as a springboard into greatness–the hard things that you experienced are the very things that make you uniquely who you are and are the basis for the gifts you are meant to share with the world, and (3) Leaning into your vulnerability and authenticity as your super powers for navigating the world.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

I have often shared that 2024 was the best year of my life. And it truly was—but not for the reasons you might initially think. Sure, there were milestones, achievements, and projects completed, but those alone didn’t make it the best. What made it truly extraordinary was how I chose to stop hiding, stop playing small, and take up the space in the world that I was intended to occupy. The biggest decision I made for 2024 was to own my story and share the gifts that have come from it, using them to help others heal and inspire them to stand in their power. It was the year I fully stepped into my power and used it to create the experiences I wanted in my life.

Let me explain.

At the beginning of 2024, I made a decision that changed everything: to use my voice and my story as a way to connect, inspire, and serve. I started leveraging social media platforms to share messages I believed could help others in their own healing journeys and in standing confidently in their power. I wanted to increase my visibility so more people could access the inspiring messages I’ve spent my life striving to live by. It wasn’t just about being seen; it was about sharing something meaningful, something that could create ripples of transformation in the lives of others.

As part of this journey, I started a podcast, which is now called She Is MOTHER, and which has become a platform for amplifying these messages of empowerment, healing, and growth. Alongside my blog, UNSHRINKING, the podcast became another way for me to own my story, my gifts, and my voice—and to share them on a bigger scale.

I also focused on building community and connection, recognizing that my growth and fulfillment could not happen in isolation. Building community became a cornerstone of my year because I realized how essential it was to have support, encouragement, and shared experiences with others. Community is where we find validation and belonging, where our stories are met with empathy and understanding. It’s where we can be both vulnerable and celebrated, creating a space to exchange ideas, hold each other accountable, and lift one another up. For me, creating community wasn’t just about networking; it was about cultivating relationships that nourished my soul, pushed me to grow, and reminded me that I didn’t have to walk this path alone. In the presence of a strong community, I found strength, inspiration, and the courage to keep going even when self-doubt crept in. Community allowed me to give and receive love, support, and encouragement in ways that enriched my journey far beyond what I could have done on my own.

These endeavors became more than projects; they became platforms for the experiences I wanted to cultivate: connection, joy, creative expansion, deeper self-discovery, and, ultimately the luxuriousness of stepping fully into my life and into my true self.

And, of course, 2024 was also the year I achieved one of my biggest dreams: writing my first book, Terrible Gifts: Finding Light in the Darkest of Places. This book was not just an accomplishment; it was the culmination of years of healing, self-discovery, and transformation. It was the fruit of my decision to stop playing small and to honor the message I felt called to share with the world.

But here’s the thing: While I’m proud of what I accomplished in 2024, success for me was never just about the milestones or achievements. It was about the experiences those accomplishments created. It was about the joy of creative expression, the expansion of my heart and soul, the love and support I felt from others, and the profound connections I built along the way. It was about stepping fully into my personal power and sharing my gifts with the world.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.drcharleanea.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcharleanea
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/CharleaneaMArellanoPhD/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drcharleaneaarellano/
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@sheismotherpodcast