Meet Dr. Kimberly Atkins

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dr. Kimberly Atkins a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Dr. Kimberly , we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
I remembered when I was in a very low place in life, I had just lost my job, I was going through a divorce, and my child was having complications associated with Sickle Cell Disease. I was driving a used car, wore clothes from a discounted department store, and my hair was in a roller wrap. I was told I was not a hair person. I was told that I could not be a mental health therapist because my life was not perfect. I was told that I was not pretty enough to travel to various parts of the county, I was told…blah, blah, blah.
I had to learn how to improve my own personal self-talk. I would not continue to ruminate in my mind all the negative things that were said to me, that they said I could not do, or what they said I was not, … so I changed my thoughts and improved my positive self-talk. I learned different types of verbal affirmation such as I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am worthy, I am loved, I can choose hope, I can choose to be free, my past does not define my future, I am a success , this day will be great, I will remain calm, it will get better, I will learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My name is Dr. Kimberly Trotter Atkins, and I am from Memphis, TN. I am a Doctor of Education and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in suicide prevention, Alzheimer’s Care, relationship counseling, and career management. I am the owner and CEO of Mind Renewals Counseling Services. I have more than 20 years of counseling experience.

I have a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Sociology from the University of Memphis, a Master of Science Degree in Social Work from the University of Tennessee, and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Argosy University. I am mentor for Black Women PhDs, a member of the National Association for Social Workers, and a member of The Coalition for Black Social Workers.

I have been featured as a Clinical Mental Health Therapist for TV One’s For My Man, Fox 13 News and The Daily Memphian. I also love writing for marriage.com about love, relationships, and family.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The first skill that was impactful in my journey of growthy is competence. I love to research. I love to find the answers to life’s challenges. I attend numerous seminars and conferences to educate myself on ways to counsel others and teach them different techniques to cope. I went back to school to get my doctorate later in life. I was going to class and writing papers at a time in my life when others was finished with their education. I felt that I wanted to learn more or take my continuing education to the next level. I am so grateful I did.
The next skill is self-love. I had to learn that I was enough. For some people it came naturally to love themselves although I had to learn different forms of self-love and self-care. I had to learn how to set boundaries for my own mental health and professional prosperity.

The final skill that impacted my journey were my mistakes. Yes, my challenges. I had to internally learn from my mistakes so that I could tell others how to overcome almost anything.

I would tell others to write down any goals or dreams. Then write down any barriers or fear and find ways to overcome them.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

The book that has played a very important role in my development of self-discovery is Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. The book dives deep into the history and the desires of the Love Addict and the Love Avoidant. The Love Addicts experienced unconditional love during their childhood. So, they may believe that if they could make a person who withholds intimacy fall in love with them, they have self-worth. The Love Avoidants on the other hand, experienced premature responsibility of caregiving. They must feel needed in a relationship. This causes both the Love Addicts and Love Avoidants to starve for intimacy due to the conscious or unconscious expressions of abandonment. The Love Addicts find self-worth or value in relationships and Love Avoidants feel drained or overwhelmed in relationships.

Therefore, one is always running and the other is always chasing. When the one who is chasing finally gets close to the one who is running, they both attempt to disrupt the relationship by either taking a breaking or having an enormous fall out.

Certain experiences shape our core behavior. The Love Addict and the Love Avoidant bond due to familiar traits while painful, these traits are familiar steaming from childhood or previous experience to stabilize the harmful experience. This caused an adaption to survive even though the experience was unpleasant and eventually normal.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Remini

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Portraits of Resilience

Sometimes just seeing resilience can change out mindset and unlock our own resilience. That’s our

Productivity
Perspectives on Staying Creative

We’re beyond fortunate to have built a community of some of the most creative artists,

Confidence
Kicking Imposter Syndrome to the Curb

This is the year to kick the pesky imposter syndrome to the curb and move