Professor, Author, Speaker, Non-Profit Executive, News Contributor
We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dr. Lawrence Scott a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr. Lawrence , thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?
Oxford Dictionary defines “Empathy” as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Dr. Covey (2004), author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that we should seek first to understand, then to be understood. As a leader, empathy is paramount, as it allows you to find better ways to get in alignment with the assignment you have been given for others. Whether the context is being a leader in your vocation, or in your home, empathizing with others will help you serve the needs of those in your sphere of influence.
My empathic nature was birthed out of several personal experiences that gave me a mission and purpose in life to make sure I am equipped with the tools to serve people of varying races, cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and socioeconomic stratifications. I want to bridge the gap between the empowered and disempowered, privileged and underprivileged, and the educated and uneducated.
One developmental condition to develop empathy came from growing up in an impoverished area, where at one time, drugs were even sold out of my home. I had to learn to adequately adapt to various social situations as I would engage some of those who came to buy drugs. This taught me how important it is to understand the complexity of the human condition, as many times wo become judgmental of the coping mechanisms of those HURTING, instead of being the conduit to usher people towards HEALING.
Another condition that helped me develop empathy was the missionary work we did in African and Mexico. In Mexico, we helped build and gave leadership training to churches, and in Africa, we taught classes and worked with Sisters of Charity at varying shelters. These experiences helped me understand that even in abject poverty, having gratitude for the blessings you were given is important to improve the well-being of life. While in Africa, I worked with Sisters of Charity in the villages, primarily with newborns up to the age of 12. Many of the students were there because they were displaced by their families for reasons such as not enough resources. Over half the students reportedly had HIV. While there, a miracle occurred. They spoke French, I spoke English and we communicated in broken Spanish. We were still able to complete the educational objectives for that Summer experience. I thought I was there to teach them the lessons I brought; instead, they taught me how to appreciate life and time. Similarly in Mexico, I primarily worked with the children ages 3-13 and noticed that they were thankful for our gestures of Love. I knew God was teaching me how to empathize with students I would later serve as a teacher, coach, school counselor, school administrator, and now university professor. When my students had issues, I would seek to understand their condition and subsequently find ways to get in alignment with the assignment God gave me for their lives,
Lastly, another condition that helped me learn empathy was when I was robbed in Rome, Italy and I didn’t have many resources left. I remember I had to ration the snacks I had in my backpack for three days. I remember being hungry and begging others for food, but many people either didn’t understand my language, or were afraid to interface with me because of my desperation. Thanks be to God, I was located by two young ladies that were in my university program in London (we were all from the study abroad program in Texas), and gave me enough money to get back to our temporary home in London. This experience taught me to help those you see in destitution or in desperation as you can be the miracle in their lives to help them return HOME.
Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic ([Rev. ed.].). Free Press.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Although I have written several books and research articles that discuss how to reach students in high need communities, I have learned that this only can happen by having a mission. I’ve been blessed to have several mentors during pivotal years. When I was homeless, my Pastor, Keith Graham, and his wife Denetrice Graham (founders of the Non-profit Community for Life Foundation, which I currently oversee) gave me a place to stay, helped me understand my purpose in life (to express the Love of God through service to Him and humanity), and gave me the resources through scholarships to pursue my educational goals so that I can create maximum IMPACT for students and communities.
Before I had a chance to interface with these angels, I was a high school student juxtaposed between wanting to be a man on a mission, or becoming the archetype of what I saw growing up (drug dealing and hopelessness). This is where my high school teacher and basketball coach Mr. Darryl Bego came into my life at such a pivotal season.
The Power of a Mentor:
When I was 15, I had to make a very important decision that would effect the rest of my life. You see, I grew up in an impoverished area here in San Antonio. My dad sold drugs out of our home. I had many friends who were murdered or incarcerated because they didn’t make the same decision that I was faced with.
Now What: The decision you ask? It was to follow, learn from, and become a mentee of Mr. Darryl Bego, my high school English teacher and basketball coach. I vividly remember the first day in his class…the Docker pants with the sport coat, preppy look that was a far departure from the sagging Dickies pants with Chuck Taylors. He was always positive! He would say things like “You Make it a Great Day,” or “Consistency connotes the content of one’s character”…He would take me home from basketball practice every night and just talk to me. These car rides home were magical. He would ask me to visualize what I wanted to be everyday, start confessing it loudly, and start acting accordingly. He would talk to me about life, and how to envision and plan out strategies of success. This was the first time I encountered a family man that looked like me, had several degrees, and was published, with a love for God and a mission to serve students. During his classes, he would make us complete two-year, five-year, and ten-year goal sheets. He would guide us through introspective exercises that would anticipate obstacles.
What he didn’t realize, the whole time, I was studying how he loves his wife, how he treats his kids, how he interacted with the community, how he operationalized a Life’s Mission. Even when he was going through a painful divorce, he continued to come to class and give us his most positive energy while making learning English exciting. He taught us personal responsibility and how to stay focused on a mission and not money. When I turned 25, I had the pleasure of seeing him again. I walked ever so nervously to the gym where he was hosting practice with his son. Since its been 10 Years, I didn’t immediately recognize me, but when I saw me, he smiled and hugged me as if I was his long-lost son. That day, I was able to tell him that I became a teacher like him, I coached basketball like him, I did speeches and wrote books like him, I was bald like him, I even named my son Christian after his son’s name…I Became HIM” To this day, I talk to him often. In the past 2 years, when I spent 15 days in the hospital almost dying of Covid or going through my own divorce, it was his phone calls and text messages that helped me remember, Life will get better in time. Now, I am intentional about those I mentor because I may just be replicated another Darrly Bego or a Dr. Lawrence Scott.
This is the Power of a Mentor…Replicating themselves in others.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Unfortunately, I needed to use 5 areas of knowledge I found most needed in our journeys are: I employ the 5 P’s of Success: Pray, Protect Your Peace, Locate your Purpose, Make a Plan, and Trust the Process.
Never Give Up. You will face many obstacles, circumstances, and setbacks, but NEVER GIVE Up. I pray everyday and throughout the day for God’s guidance in every decision. I am intentional about protecting my peace as life presents many distractions and circumstances, and as you have to be intentional about removal weeds out of your grass, we must be intentional about removing those chaos creators and peace destroyers. Mark Twain says, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” We must be incessant about locating our purpose. This should be the lens by which all decisions are filtered. Next, create a plan. There is a saying, “If you don’t have a plan, you’ve already planned to fail!” I create SMART Goals at the beginning of each year, and assess and modify throughout the year. I meet with my team daily to discuss the overarching plan, and how new opportunities fits in our overall mission. Lastly, I trust the process. I understand that everything will not happen overnight, but is subject to small but measurable progress. I also celebrate the micro-victories throughout to build momentum. At the end of my life, I want my Legacy to be the I created a world in which any student who grew up like me had a fighting chance to have a life full of Purpose, Peace, and above all…LOVE.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
My number one challenge at this moment is recognizing that everyone is not destined to go with you as you your IMPACT increases. People are in your lives for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. For whatever reason, as I have expanded my IMPACT, my inner-circle has gotten smaller. Most of the people in my inner-circle have been there for over 20 years. These are the people that God as given me to complete my Life’s Purpose with fidelity. The difficulty arises as people’s motives change. When I decided I didn’t want to serve in my mission because of accolades or financial compensation, this repelled many who were in it for the money. I readily noticed that there were many nights it felt like it was just me and God. The resolution is clear, but not easy: Understand that everyone is not meant to go to the season or level with you. Celebrate with those who continue to persist beyond the resistance with you, be thankful for those along the way that completed their aligned assignment for your life, and continue to run the race God has set before you.
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith – 2 Timothy 4:7
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drlawrencescott.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlscott/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drlawrencescott/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawrence-scott-ph-d-45111829/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt4lnc93eBtgT5atMi_S0oA
