We recently connected with Dr. Noah H. Kersey, Ph.D. and have shared our conversation below.
Dr. Noah, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
The intense feelings I experienced as a child stayed deep inside me allowing me to feel it in others which helped me to be more sensitive to my patients.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I grew up as an “orphan” and as a young man I made a tragic mistake by almost killing my high school – college sweetheart and her brave loving father which resulted in my going to prison for fifteen years. Currently, I’m retired as a licensed clinical psychologist and now I just write every day. Her father is the real hero of my story.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
First, it’s my boldness in taking on new challenges and second, my total faith in God and third, my fear of failure motivates me to succeed.
Where do you get your resilience from?
It comes from a number of sources but primarily my need for survival when my parents abandoned me. When I was eight or nine years old my father left me on the side of a rural county road in southern Georgia in the middle of the night and soon after when my mother slammed the front door in my face when I tried to return to her home in central Florida. Then there were many other experiences when I was roaming and surviving on the streets of Ybor City, a Cuban neighborhood that had been annexed many years before by the city of Tampa.
Where do you get your work ethic from?
As an “orphan” I didn’t have a normal childhood which required me to do everything for myself so, as I grew to young adulthood, I learned self-reliance. I worked hard to obtain the necessities of life which most kids take for granted. This made me realize if I didn’t work hard I would never have what the other kids had and failure frightens me. I very quickly learned to use my fear to achieve success.
How did you develop your confidence and self-esteem?
Both came mostly from reading Superman comic books. He was the only “father-figure” I had for many years and as an adult I looked back and it occurred to me that, if I had not read these comic books, I would’ve never had as many role models to know how to be a confident older yet still young man which was one influence for me becoming a psychologist helping others to overcome the same obstacles. I also found older men in movies and on television who I admired and respected so, I would emulate their behaviors. In psychology, we call this having an “introject” or internalized trait which eventually becomes so much a part of our psyche that it merges with our own sense of self or identity.
Where does your generosity come from?
I found much of it from the different people I experienced growing up in the orphanage and in college. I met people that were very kind to me and it made me realize that the kindness and generosity of others is what makes us emotionally healthy, which in turn taught me to love and care about myself. I became what I needed from other people. Another reason for my success is by what my parents did to me drove me to want and need to be different from them to the point that I needed to overachieve and on my father’s death bed I telephoned him at the V.A hospital explaining this to him thanking him which he sounded shocked to hear. So I’m glad I did it because he died 48 hours later much more peacefully I imagine.
How did you overcome imposter syndrome?
I realized I could never know everything and I’ve always been comfortable telling others “I don’t know” rather than trying to fake being an “expert” about everything. When I didn’t know something I’d respond “I don’t know but let me get back to you.” The smartest thing I ever heard a physicist say is “I don’t know.” This caused me to feel more genuine and honest which resulted in my patients respecting and trusting me.
Being the only one in the room: how have you learned to be effective/successful even when you are the only one in the room that looks like you?
(Laughing) I don’t know what this means but I’ll get back to you.
Where does your optimism come from?
While I’m not a “religious” person I’m very spiritual and have a very strong faith in God so He/She has always been everywhere.. here.. there.. with.. for and in me whether on that lonely deserted road in southern Georgia or in prison. I’ve been placed in many dangerous situations and have always survived because I finally accepted in jail that there absolutely is a God.
How did you find your purpose?
By overcoming the abuse in my childhood as well as surviving prison and being given the opportunity to finish college to become a doctor of psychology I knew God wanted me to use those experiences to help other people, not only as a clinical psychologist but by telling my underdog coming of age story as a motorcycle riding martial arts champion who grew up in an orphanage and was sentenced to fifteen years in prison for the tragic mistake of almost killing my high school sweetheart and her heroic, loving father.
How do you persist despite the haters, nay-sayers, etc?
With God’s help I fight the good fight and keep the faith. My motto is never give up and never give in to the haters or the nay-sayers. Hating me or saying no to me only spurs me on to persist in spite of the people who have disappointed me. The late Governor Lawton Chiles of Florida saw this in me and granted me a pardon in 1993 for my felony convictions which only encouraged me.
What do you do for self-care and what impact has it had on your effectiveness?
Since I retired I rode my motorcycle 7,000 miles to Wyoming and back, as well as 16,000 miles through 18 countries in Europe to visit dear friends I made while backpacking 500 miles on El Camino de Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain in 2014. Both were challenging solo experiences but informed me that I could still have adventures after thirty-two years of helping people. Now I just want to help millions of young people by telling my story to keep them from making the same tragic mistake I made over fifty years ago.
Where does your self-discipline come from?
I’m not sure I have much of it now but, I do write everyday and I have my routines to keep me going to tell my story.
How did you develop your ability to communicate effectively?
By becoming a good listener in college when as a junior I volunteered part-time and trained to be a crisis counselor for Florida State University’s telephone counseling services. I was suppose to give them six months of service in exchange for six months of training but loved it so much I gave them two years of service helping callers when they were depressed and suicidal. I also did this while in graduate school at Georgia State University in Atlanta for the Fulton County Emergency Mental Health Services until 1983 when I left for my doctoral training in Hattiesburg Mississippi at the University of Southern Miss.
How did you develop your decision-making skills?
By making some serious mistakes when I was in crisis from losing my high school – college sweetheart near the end of our sophomore year. I was in turmoil from her finding someone else at her university and when I discovered it I didn’t’ sleep or eat for several days. As I walked across campus lost alone and throwing up while leaning against a tree I decided to seek counseling from the Student Health Center but instead of getting a counselor to guide me I was seen by an elderly retired psychiatrist who only provided me with his mind-altering drug samples [quaaludes] which made me even more “psychotic” than I already felt.
How do you keep your creativity alive?
I was very creative building my practice from the ground up. I was the first in my profession to use the internet to reach out to more prospective patients with a colorful informative website. After a newspaper article “Noah Rode Out Storm To Thrive” was published in 1998 I placed it on my website which attracted patients from other states who travelled to see me. My practice exploded with new patients who felt my experiences growing up could help them more than a psychologist who grew up in a loving home. I also wrote creative articles about movies and the lessons I learned from watching them like, “The Art of CinemaTherapy: What I Learned From The Movies”, which can still be found online. Now, I continue being creative with other things such as using what I call “the pin ball machine effect” to find investors or film producers for our film project.
What is “The pin ball machine effect”?
The effect from my looking up one person or website and it leading me to another and then another until I ended up with some person or website which I wasn’t originally looking for – thus the “pin ball machine effect”. I usually found something better.
How did you develop your ability to take risk?
Again, by using my fears as a motivation to strive for success. Also, by riding motorcycles before I could drive a motor vehicle.
How did you overcome divorce?
It wasn’t easy.
At first I escaped into a shell paralyzed for almost two years by sleeping on my couch day and night. I became suicidal again unable to help myself but one day with God’s help I began riding a motorcycle once again after years of giving it up because I didn’t want my children to be influenced by seeing me riding one. I also used the funds I had left over from the divorce and sale of my practice to purchase a new 2012 Harley-Davidson Fatboy from a local Indianapolis dealership. Then I began a new chapter of my life being a “bad-ass” biker which gave me an identity again – a new purpose by riding the Tail Of The Dragon fifteen times in spite of the bikers who died trying to navigate the treacherous curves on the North Carolina-Tennessee border mountain road which used to be a Cherokee Native-American trail.
How did you overcome bankruptcy?
Fortunately, I had great disability insurance in case I was disabled while practicing. At the end of our 28-year marriage my erstwhile wife and three children ghosted me and I met with my insurance agent for lunch. He took one glance at me and said “Dr. Kersey, you look like death warmed over and shouldn’t be seeing patients.” He was right because another psychologist continued seeing patients while disabled and her license to practice was revoked…. forever. So he filed the paperwork along with my physician’s letter and I began to receive a disability check for the next two years thanks to God and my agent.
How did you overcome PPD (Postpartum Depression)?
I’ve never been pregnant! (Laughing) However, I do suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder so I ended up doing my doctoral research on the topic and the title of my doctoral dissertation is – thanks to my abusive mother….. The Effects Of Fear-Of-Bodily-Injury And The Locus-Of-Control On The Development Of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: An Analogue Study.
How have you overcome or persisted despite the challenges related to mental health issues?
Mostly, my faith in God and riding my motorcycle traveling around the U.S. Canada, Mexico as well as the world including the north of New Zealand.
How did you overcome a layoff and/or getting fired?
I usually had to retreat – lick my wounds and then jump right back on my horse – uh – motorcycle.
How have you overcome/beat Creativity Blocks (writers block, etc)?
Still working on it but I did managed to write a screenplay “Malicious Intent” aka “A Stray Bullet” under my nom de plume “Howard Henderson” my maternal grandmother’s maiden-married name and I will soon begin writing a novel of the same title.
Another example of my creativity is I watched DareDevil and wondered who his stuntman was which is how I found the director of our film. His name is Chris Brewster and he has a website so I sent my story to him and he called within five minutes excited to hear from me. He said he would love to direct our film and told me “your life story is incredible and it needs to be told!” I saw his videos and they’re very exciting to watch. Here is his work: https://vimeo.com/469560257 and, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hj65GVg0jU.
What is your screenplay about?
It’s about me as a young man riding motorcycles and competing in intercollegiate karate tournaments who later goes to prison due to a tragic accident where I came close to killing my high school sweetheart and her hero of a father trying to save his family from an intruder.
Thanks again for the opportunity to share my life story in Bold Journey.
If anyone else has questions, you can reach me at [email protected] or view my video testimonial interviews here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gXyzjLC9SQ
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.facebook.com/TrekCaminoForDiabetesCure/
- Website: https://www.polarsteps.com/NoahKersey/810002-harley-across-europe
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noah.h.kersey/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/docnoah7/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/DocNoah7
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gXyzjLC9SQ
Image Credits
Photos by Jessica Donnelly at Jess Leigh Photography. The one on Camino I do not remember. The one in Brussels, Belgium was a passing stranger and the one with guitar wishes to remain anonymous because he’s my shy college roommate from almost 50 years ago and is my current house mate.
