We recently connected with Dr Sandra N Peoples and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr Sandra N, really appreciate your meeting with us today to talk about some particularly personal topics. It means a lot because so many in the community are going through circumstances where your insights and experience and lessons might help, so thank you so much in advance for sharing. The first question we have is about divorce and how you overcame divorce and didn’t allow the trauma of divorce to derail your vision for your life and career.
Divorce was something I thought I would never experience in my life. I was the girl who thought that once I was married, it would be forever. So when it happened to me, my first impression was that of being damaged goods. It killed my self esteem. It wasn’t until I discovered the power of journaling that my life began to turn around for the better.
I have always been a writer, but I never saw the therapeutic benefits that came from something as simple as a pen and paper. Writing things down is a way of cleansing yourself from things that might otherwise destroy you internally.
In my journal, I would write down how I was feeling about this divorce and the feelings I had developed towards my ex-husband. I did this every day and allowed myself to embrace my feelings in that moment. As I was writing, I could feel hate coming out on the page, along with other emotions that I honestly didn’t even know I was still holding on to. Once I was done ‘feeling’ and crying, and literally pouring out the thoughts on paper, I took those pages, ripped from the notebook, and burned them. I allowed myself to release every emotion that I had been holding onto, and I let it all go.
Those feelings of hatred, and bitterness, and every other emotion that I had been silently suffering from, left that day, and I began to feel like a new person. The days to follow were filled with optimism and excitement, as I embraced the ability to love again by starting with myself. I forgave myself for making the mistake of marrying the wrong person. And that is how I overcame divorce.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am very passionate about helping others gain the confidence they need to fully pursue their dreams and goals—and I know from experience that the most important piece to that is healing from your past. I am a mom of four, an award-winning, bestselling author and blogger, and a motivational speaker. I am in the process of establishing an outreach ministry for women, to help them heal from the hurt and trauma of their pasts. In October I am holding a fundraiser to raise funds for my ministry, establish programing, and other things all aimed at helping women heal in every area of their lives. In addition to these things, I run a handmade jewelry business called Beadedd Beautiess with my teenage daughter, and consult with aspiring authors through my publishing company, which I have proudly done for the past twenty years.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I believe it was a combination of three qualities and skills for me that were most impactful, and they were resilience, determination, and of course, prayer. Prayer, along with my journaling worked hand in hand with my healing process. It is good to start with just getting in the practice of writing down your feelings. When you feel emotional, write down what you are thinking about in that moment. Why did you all of a sudden start to feel those emotions? I would notice that when I would be alone, those feelings of hatred and disgust towards myself would seem to speak the loudest. And that is when I would take my journal and I would pray and then write what I was feeling. So start by keeping a journal and writing when you feel emotional, rather than turn to food, or some other thing that won’t be of much help in the long run.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
The book that has played an important role in my development has been the bible. There are passages in the bible that I use to help me stay grounded and focused on the things I want to accomplish in my life and in the lives of those that I am meant to impact. My favorite passages of scripture are Proverbs 3:5-6, Proverbs 16:3 and Psalm 37:4
Contact Info:
- Website: www.sandranpeoples.com
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/sandrap
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/bblit
