Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Edward Valaitis. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Edward, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
When I was about ten years old, I started to work every Saturday with my father in his landscaping business. My life consisted of getting bullied in school throughout the
week and then working ten to twelve hours of hard labor on Saturdays. However, as grueling as the
landscaping work was, I felt it was my duty to be with my dad. Not so much because of the physical
help I provided, but more so that I could keep him from getting drunk after work and try to help
keep our family together.
During this period of my life my parents were constantly fighting. It would be a rare day
indeed if they didn’t yell at each other. Although my dad was working his tail off, we
had serious financial issues. To top it off, there was a deep recession combined with inflation
brought on during—and probably with the help of—President Carter’s term. The economic word “stagflation” was coined—and, boy, did it hurt.
I can’t speak for my dad and say that he started drinking heavily every night
because the business wasn’t going well, or because the economy wasn’t good, or
because his marriage was struggling, and it ate at him. It could have also been from the childhood
trauma he experienced. His mother left him and his four siblings, leaving them all wondering, Am I
not good enough? Am I not lovable? Why would she leave us? Having a single dad likely had many
challenges. All I knew was that if I went to work with him on Saturdays, maybe I could coax him
into leaving the bar after work before he got hammered. (Years later, my mom told me I was able to
make a difference and to help give him a reason to go on in spite of the overwhelming challenges).
A couple of years after that, I began working with him through entire summers. It was
a point of pride for me as a teenager to always outwork my dad’s much older and
stronger employees. Some days, I’d win and get my dad to leave with me after one or two
drinks after work, but other days I’d lose, and he’d be so drunk that sometimes he’d pass out at
the kitchen table or just be in an awful, angry mood. But being that I was the only boy,
sandwiched between an older sister and two younger ones, I felt it was my duty to the family to
try to keep us all together. So sports and academics, which probably should have been at the top of
my priority list, didn’t even make the list because of my constant scurrying around, trying to keep
our family together.
The worst part of my life wasn’t the bullying, which had
intensified year after year, or the physical labor, it was the nighttime screaming matches that penetrated through my parents’ thin bedroom walls. There
were many nights I’d get off my bed with tears in my eyes and pray on my knees that they’d still be
married, and I’d still have a mom and dad in the morning. It wasn’t the best feeling to have tears
in my eyes before eventually falling asleep from emotional exhaustion. It was hard enough trying to
fall asleep with my feet hanging four inches off the too-short mattress; the dysfunction was a
sadistic bonus.
During the week, if my dad wasn’t at home by six, I’d start worrying that he’d come home drunk
and/or angry. When he did come home from work, I’d be there to cheerfully greet him and
try to ensure he was in a good mood for the evening. When it was after 6 PM and he wasn’t home, I’d
sometimes pick up the Yellow Pages and call the bars situated on his home commute.
“Hey, I’m trying to find my dad. Is Al Valaitis there?”
“Hi. Can you please ask if Mr. Al Valaitis is there?”
I became a cold-calling expert before I even knew what it was. I had no time to tell anyone about
being bullied. My parents had enough to worry about. As a result, I hated school. During class, I
was either worried about where my dad would go after work or how I’d maneuver around the sharks in
the hallway to get to my next class with dignity. It’s fair to say that you wouldn’t see glimpses
of my early life on a Hallmark card.
Being that my dad was either working or drinking, we did not often have those
father-and-son moments when he would teach me to throw a football or a baseball, though I do have
sweet memories of the times he took me rabbit or deer hunting. Due to all the landscaping, however,
I was becoming strong and athletic. I remember playing pick-up football games with the neighborhood
kids. I was fast—very fast. As a receiver, I’d always get open. The problem was, I couldn’t catch
well with those damn butterfingers of mine. On defense, I stuck to my guy like glue and wouldn’t
let him get open.
Had circumstances been different, I’d probably have tried out for the school football team,
and with weekly practices, I could have become quite good. However, reality told me that I didn’t
have the luxury of daydreaming about those things, so—ever the introvert—I climbed even deeper into
my head.
One of the blessings of my upbringing was that my grandmother, Ursula, lived
with us. My grandparents and parents escaped both the Nazis and the communist Russians and fled
to the United States. Grandma’s nickname was Mune. She was a mathematical genius, and I was
grateful for all the help she provided with my math homework. Without knowing it, she
showed me what inner strength and true resolve looked like. She was a brilliant
thinker and the biggest influence on my life. She literally saved her family from a
deadly one-way ticket to Auschwitz.
Whenever I would have a pity party for myself, I’d remember her life and everything she went
through and lost in Europe. Then I’d reflect and think to myself, Well, things could be much worse,
and count my blessings.
One day when I was in the seventh grade, I was playing King of the Mountain (a game to see who
could stay on top of a hill and knock the other people off) with Anthony, a cousin
of mine who was the same age. In the past, I’d always win when we wrestled or fought.
I’d always dominated in tests of speed or strength against him. One particular day though, I
couldn’t beat him. It shook me to my core. After he knocked me off the mountain, I thought, There’s
no way! And I went back at him with everything I had, only to lose again.
That was a defining moment in my life. I had no control over the bullies. I had to work Saturdays
and weekends, which left no time for extracurricular school activities. I had no control over my
father, thus no control over the peace in our house. I could run, but I couldn’t play sports
because I couldn’t catch. The one and only thing I knew I could do was beat my cousin at King of
the Mountain and wrestling. But now I couldn’t even do that!
I had heard that drinking milk could help you get stronger bones and a healthier body. The
problem was, I’d always hated milk and never drank it. That evening, however, I poured
myself a tall glass and chugged it down. It was during that moment that it dawned on me that
I am in control of my life and that my future is up to no one but me. I took the
figurative wheel of life into my own hands and stopped resisting school. I realized for the first
time that physically, mentally, and spiritually, whatever happened would be up to me. No one was
going to save me!
From then on, I started applying myself in school. I had horrible study habits, but I
slowly changed my grades from being a lifelong D student to a C student, and then a B student. By
the time I graduated high school and began college, I was a straight-A student.
When I was in the ninth grade, John, an acquaintance and one of the more athletic kids in my grade,
had asked me to box him during lunch in the school gym. Boxing and listening to an endless loop of
“Feel Like Makin’ Love” by Bad Company on the jukebox had become a crowd-pleasing pastime at my
high school. As many kids as could fit would squeeze themselves around a makeshift circle as
two students would pummel each other amidst a slightly controlled chaotic frenzy. One
particularly sunny morning, John kept asking and asking me to box him, and before I
realized it, I had accepted the challenge.
I had never been taught how to fight—boxing or otherwise. If anything, I was a target for
bullies as I was usually the youngest, and therefore least-developed, child in the
class. When the bell rang, I got out of my desk slowly. The kids had started to rush to the
gym to see the day’s boxing match. When I walked through the crowd of kids to get to the
center of the “ring” someone asked, “What’s his name again?” John, on the other hand, was quite
popular, evidenced by the many kids that chanted, “John! John! John!”
My nerves were at a fever pitch. How the hell did I get here? I don’t know how to box! John was
chatting it up confidently with his friends, flashing his big toothy smile from under his straight
bangs while two kids helped him with his boxing gloves. At the other end of the
ring, I awkwardly put my gloves on. Maybe I was meant to perform a nameless cameo appearance in
John’s life-movie. By all accounts, he was the star.
Once the gloves were strapped on, we eyed each other, waiting for someone to ring the bell. The
noise was deafening, yet I could barely hear anyone over my breathing. I thought, “This is going to hurt and be quite
embarrassing, so I’m going to hit him first and keep hitting him.” The phrase, “I don’t want to get
hurt” kept whirling in my head.
The bell rang, and I rushed at him and started swinging with all my might. I missed the first few
times, but then I caught him on the shoulder. Then another miss, followed by another shoulder shot.
Then I hit him off the side of the head, then the stomach, then he turned and I punished
him squarely in the jaw. He stumbled back and away from me and I kept swinging. I wasn’t angry. It
wasn’t as if I had let out my pent- up frustrations from years of being bullied. I was just tired
of losing. I kept hitting him and he fell backwards and curled up in the fetal position. I kept
swinging until someone pulled me off him. Oh, I was supposed to stop? Clearly, I didn’t
understand the etiquette of boxing.
No one ever asked me to box at lunch again and I retired my boxing career undefeated. I had
grown stronger since that first glass of milk and declaration of personal responsibility a few
years earlier and was no longer easy prey for the bullies.
In addition to my grandmother, my mom was always there with steady love, loyalty, and resilience,
and for that I’m so grateful. I’ll never forget when my mom told me that, as a teenager,
she chose the Virgin Mary as her role model for life. Wow, did she set the bar
high! While my upbringing was certainly less than ideal, it prepared me for life’s many
challenges.
By the time I was in my mid-thirties, I can say, objectively, that I had become
quite successful. First and foremost,
my personal life was wonderful. I had married the girl of my dreams and we were
raising two beautiful, kind, and intelligent daughters. In terms of finances, I was in the top
10% of earners and providing strategic advice to leaders of Fortune 2000 companies. The trial by
fire of my youth and the success of my adulthood formed me into someone who is relentless,
detail-oriented, strategic, and persuasive—all built upon an operating system of integrity.
I’d be remiss if I ended this story without telling you the rest of my dad’s story. One day, while
at a bar, he glanced up in the bathroom mirror and said he saw evil looking back at him. It so
scared him that it changed him right to the core of his being instantly. After that, he was
miraculously able to transform into a light social drinker and never had an alcohol problem again.
As a result, his marriage got much better, and our home got happier. Also, his business
began to recover.
Most people with the level of debt my parents had would most likely have filed for bankruptcy,
but they didn’t. They paid back all their debts as a matter of personal
responsibility. He was a good dad who I loved deeply, and he later became a truly great
grandfather. I’m confident that the countless teary-eyed prayers of a blue-eyed and
curly long blonde-haired ten-year-old boy made a difference. Don’t give up prayers and persistence work!
It’s true that coal becomes a diamond under pressure. Don’t regret your hardships and challenges, but use them as tools to build your resilience
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I help entrepreneurs to boost the value of their companies and then successfully exit when the time is right! My firm Edison Avenue we are a mergers and acquisitions company for businesses with revenues up to $50 million dollars. What makes us special is our unique ability to maximize the value of companies and help founders turn their companies which are illiquid assets, into a pile of cash. Sometimes you just need to sell because you want to retire, illness, divorce or you just have another business opportunity you’d like to pursue. Sadly only 40% of all companies are successfully sold across this country. Most business owners rely on selling their companies to provide them with a financially secure retirement. I’ve also seen many business owners taken advantage of because they did not have a quality M&A Advisor in their corner to ensure they received the best price and terms when they sold their company.
Edison Avenue also does a lot of business valuations because the 1st thing most CEOs want to know is what is my company really worth?
I recently wrote a book, titled “Exit Like A Winner – The Proven Success Formula for Selling Your Business” Exit Like A Winner is designed to powerfully help business owners determine both when to sell and how to sell their companies. It’s intellectual, emotional, and easy to read, and is chock full of wisdom. The author is authentic, vulnerable, and shares and inspires with his personal story. You will be smarter and wiser after reading this book and maybe even face areas of your life you’ve been in denial about for years.
This book is designed to help entrepreneurs with one of the most difficult decisions they will ever face which are when and how to sell their businesses. The author is vulnerable and innovative in his approach as it requires left and right brain thinking to make a great decision on something as personal as their business, their life, and their finances which are intertwined in the most valuable asset they own. Often overcoming denial is the biggest obstacle to making a sound decision and this book deals with that issue head-on to help founders find their own personal truth.
The biggest problem is that founders struggle with figuring out when is the right time to sell, what steps to take, and whom to trust and therefore fail to harvest the wealth locked within their company.
Too many founders go to their graves and leave their businesses up for grabs, leaving their families unable to harvest the wealth from their many years of blood, sweat, and tears. Others fall for the unsolicited offer trap and leave too much money on the table.
Written in a fresh, easy-to-read style, Mr. Valaitis alternates between storytelling and advice-giving chapters. He introduces us to a couple that goes through the journey from uncertainty to clarity able to live out the rest of their lives on their terms. While the characters are fictitious, what they go through is all too real.
Should any business owner follow this experienced M&A’s proven approach, it will change their life and legacy for the better. Buckle up and enjoy this intellectual and surprisingly emotional rollercoaster of a ride!
Breaking News: Edward Valaitis just completed the audio version of his book “Exit Like A Winner” making it easy to listen to while driving, exercising or going about your day. You can find it on Amazon and Audible books.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Persistence – Success requires failure. Don’t worry so much about failing. Worry more about freezing up and not taking calculated risks that can result in you living your ideal life. Failure is not fatal, but not getting back up is a huge mistake. View your life as a journey of failing forward and learning at every turn so you keep improving.
2. Time is short for everyone. – Take action like there might not be a tomorrow. Love your family and friends, and make sure they know it. Leave it all on the field when you work, giving it your best efforts as if it were the Super Bowl of your life.
3. Live your values – Operate with integrity with what you say, do, and think. What is the point of success if you lose your soul? As humans, we are very capable of deluding ourselves. Make sure you have a strong faith life, friends who hold you accountable, and take time to meditate regularly and review your actions. Living in alignment with the best version of your ideals is a successful life.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
I have a genuine passion for seeing business owners successfully retire from their companies. I have witnessed too many horrific situations like the one I’ll describe here. A very successful owner of a third-party administrator (TPA) passed away after a long illness. During the period of his illness, he did not put together a plan to have an intermediary (M&A Advisor) sell his company should he become disabled or die. Instead, he trusted his long-time attorney and CPA to handle his affairs. When the owner passed, his attorney and CPA quickly sold the company to a young key employee. That employee ran the company for a few years and sold it for seven times what he paid for the business just a few years earlier. Since the business had not changed materials, it was sold to the key employee for 1/7th of its actual market value. The business owner’s wife and children did not receive fair value for their company. How could this happen? Just because you are an attorney or CPA does not necessarily mean you know anything about the value of a business or how to sell a company. Had he retained an M&A advisor, a competitive bidding situation would have allowed his wife and children to receive the total value of the company that he built over many decades instead of making an employee instantly wealthy. This frequent occurrence prompted me to write the book as a service to business owners nationwide. If they read my book, they will avoid so many pitfalls and greatly increase the odds that they will exit like a winner when it comes time to sell their businesses.
My ideal client is any business owner with sales revenue of up to $50 million who wants to leave a strong legacy.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.EdisonAvenue.com
- Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/valaitis
