We were lucky to catch up with Ej Dechanet recently and have shared our conversation below.
EJ, so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?
I used to bounce between bouts of burnout in a cyclical way until I got clear on what was the root cause for it. For me burnout was something that was always on the horizon, I never felt I could consistently sustain my energy levels and it infuriated me! I felt broken trying to build and pursue this life I aspired to create but kept hitting burnout. It was a pattern that had been with me for a long time and when I finally started to bring some awareness and presence to the patterns of burnout, I realised it was because what I was chasing was so far from my values and vision for mine and my family’s life. Call it the chronic people pleaser in me but I’d been pursuing a life built on other people’s expectations and once I got clear on what was actually in alignment with my values the burnout disappeared. It’s funny because burnout I believe doesn’t have anything to do with amount of effort or work ethic, if you’re working really hard at something which isn’t aligned, isn’t maximising your skills or allowing your gifts to flourish, it’s going to feel really hard and can lead to burnout. When you are living in alignment, listening to the needs of your body and heart felt desires and sharing your gifts you’ll be working hard and creating a big life for yourself but it comes from a place of joy and excitement not from a place of forcing yourself into someone else’s way of living. Key steps I took to overcome burnout. 1. Meeting myself exactly where I was at and being honest about what I was experiencing. 2. Learning somatic practices to help connect me back into my body and out of my head so I could calm my nervous system. 3. I got clear on what my values were for my life. 4. I began creating a plan to bring my life more into alignment with my values in all parts of my life. 5. Got sober – it no longer aligned with my life and although I have never associated myself as an alchoholic it was having enough of an effect on my life that stopping became a necessary commitment to give me more clarity, energy and conviction. The most important step though was I did this alongside God and my family so those closest to me could support me to create this new vision for my/our life.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m EJ, a Mom of three and ex-corporate Marketer turned qualified EFT practioner and Life & Sobriety coach. When my eldest was born my values shifted so much. I had been climbing the corporate ladder, successfully but could no longer envisage commiting 50 hrs + weeks to an organisation at the expense of time with my family. For longer than I could imagine I had also naturally been coaching friends and colleagues and now with little ones on the scene I realised I’d have to take full accountability and actually get after my passions for coaching so I was walking the walk so to speak and being the example I knew my girls needed from me. I trained as an advanced EFT practioner and coach and over the last few years have worked with incredible clients, predominately Moms, to support them to work through their limiting beliefs and life goals and support them to create lives that align to their values and gifts. In addition, after spending almost a decade in the alcohol industry and now almost 7 years sober, I realised how much of a desire there was with my clients and beyond to be able to reset our relationship to alcohol and get sober curious/more mindfully drink. With my background I felt well placed and called to create alcohol reset programs for the sober curious that go beyond just a stint of sobriety and look to heal the root cause of the drinking supporting you fall in love with your new sober or mindfully moderate identity. I love this line of work so much. How daily habits have such an impact on our lives long term and the ability to support people with their relationship with alcohol has such a profound impact on their lives, beyond just health. The Reset is my latest program and inside it you’ll – break the habit of drinking and feel in control once more of if and when you drink, feel confident in and love living your new ‘sober’ or ‘mindful drinker’ identity, work through any limiting beliefs and blocks that arise from healing the root cause of your drinking patterns/behaviour for total freedom from alcohol.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Tenacity and resilience – If you are called to live a big life, not follow the usual path or just want to make some changes in your life, you’re going to need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Which sounds cliche but has been the biggest blessing and realisation for me. My body wanted to throw the towel in so many times because it felt hard but with the right tools and with practice we can get comfortable being in these periods of building, of learning and meeting our edges. On the other side of that is so much satisfaction.
Enjoy the journey – I often felt I was chasing the end goal without taking a moment to come back to the present and appreciate life in the journey. Is it always easy or comfortable, no! But the skills you’re learning daily, the gift of each day and the gift of having the courage to go after what you want creates an incredibly rich life so take a moment to enjoy the process and not fixate on the outcomes and metrics!
EFT Emotional Freedom Technique – I came across EFT when I was pregnant and wanted to clear some blocks and beliefs heading into labour. I have tried many different modalities but nothing felt as transformative and rapid as EFT. It’s not a gift to be able to use this modality in my coaching, where appropriate, and the breakthroughs never cease to amaze me.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I feel overwhelmed (which can be often as a busy Mom of 3 and entrepreneur), I come back to my body and breath. Overwhelm can often create paralysis in us and it’s important to get the body to feel safe once more to help release the heightened emotions and figure out the next small step needed to support your goals. I also often tap using EFT as a way to meet myself exactly where I’m at and acknowledge the emotions arising and then release them. For me overwhelm can hit when I’m pursuing something that feels big or challenging and it’s a natural response from my body to keep me playing small and I recognise this in myself now so when I feel overwhelm arising I use it as a great indicator that I need to take a beat, reset and support my body to feel more on board with where I’m wanting to go. Asking for support is also a great one!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ejdechanet.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ejdechanet/#
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ejdechanet/
Image Credits
Diana Meek,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
