Meet elham raker

We were lucky to catch up with Elham Raker recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Elham, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

The first step to finding my purpose, was finding out that I actually had a purpose. Many years ago I was at a lecture about our purpose and I cried when I was told I had a purpose, that everyone had a purpose, now I just had to find it. Growing up I don’t think I realized I actually had a purpose. At that point, I had already become “successful”; I was a physician, happily married with 2 kids, but did not feel like I had a purpose. I started writing a blog as way to share my thoughts and ideas, was this my purpose? I joined a network marketing company that helped me learn more about who I was, was that my purpose? Nothing really excited me in the way that I thought a purpose should. During covid, I had to take some time off my professional job and start my personal job of being a full time mom. I needed to be there for my kids. I was still searching for “my purpose” when I learned about a coaching program to become a parent coach. I had time to do this from home and decided to give it a try knowing it could only help me as a pediatrician. As I learned more and more and started my business of coaching I knew I had found my calling. I was repairing and building connections between parents and their children. Every minute I spend “working” feels like absolute joy. It’s such an honor to be there with my clienst as they go through their parenting transformation and become the parent they always dreamed of being.

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Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I help parents to become the parents that they envision. Sometimes we think we can grow up and parent different than how we were raised or tweak it but the truth is, patterns are ingrained in us and if we don’t make conscious efforts to change those habits and patterns they will always emerge, especially in times of stress. As a coach I explore these patterns with parents; patterns of triggering, frustration, annoyance and build new ones. We work on tools together to use in times of stress without returning to old patterns. I always say it’s not a quick fix but over time we can build a new network of patterns that will take over the old ones. And I always emphasize that I’m here as their guide, they are doing the hard work. I’m so proud of the work I do together with parents and the changes that they obtain in themselves and in their relationships. And what’s even more remarkable is the changes in every relationship improve not just the one with their children.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Resilience, I don’t give up easily! I never see failure as failure but rather an opportunity to try again. And if I never quit, then I can’t fail.
Non-judgmental; as a coach I think this is so imperative. I want my clients to feel safe and share all their emotions with me. Especially in parenting where we can simultaneously hate and love our children and that’s ok!!
Humbled; I know I don’t always have the answers and never claim I do. I always listen to my clients and patients because they know their kids best!

I think you can build these skills with practice just like anything else. Become aware if you start to judge and catch yourself, ask yourself why and analyze it. If you give up easily, then it might be it’s not what you’re passionate about and to keep looking for the thing that you will never quit!

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Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

My biggest challenge currently is in my personal life as a mom to a chronic illness warrior. My time and my emotions can easily get hijacked if my daughter isn’t doing well and needs me. It’s definitely challenging to run a business with that kind of emotional and mental strain. I’m grateful that I have a flexible schedule and that I can work from home for this reason. I’ve managed this challenge by giving up control. I may plan to get something done, but if something happens and I can’t then I’ve learned to accept it and accept that it is n my best interest in the long run. Even if I don’t understand it in short run. Acceptance has been a large part of my growth the past few years.

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