Meet Emily Cullum

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Emily Cullum. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Emily below.

Emily, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

It is no secret that mental health is an extremely important topic and sensitive for us to talk about! As a queer woman who was raised in the south, it took me a long time to come to terms with the wounded girl living inside of my body. It was only 4 years ago when I started therapy for the first time, but that was after years of battling anxiety, health-related challenges and OCD without even knowing it.

I was always a nervous kid, battling the “monster in my tummy” every time I was worried about a test, performing on a stage, or speaking my feelings out loud. However, I was boisterous and danced around proudly, which is why I don’t think anyone really noticed that I was secretly battling on the inside. I had an extremely good poker face, thanks to the years of theatre kid training and southern upbringing. It wasn’t until moving to New York City on my own that I started to look inward. There were times that I couldn’t eat anything but rice and chicken for weeks because I was so nervous. I finally knew I needed to find out what was happening within my body so I could know myself better. That is when I turned to therapy and finding community for myself.

After many years of talking to therapists and taking tests, I found out I had anxiety and OCD. WOW! I had no idea. I had no idea that this was something that was different about me. I have spent years trying to ignore these challenges/thoughts and it just only got worse. On top of that, running my own photography business and being a helping hand to everyone in my life, I was taking more and more time away from my healing.

The one thing that has helped me overcome these feelings has been true acceptance. I have found the only way to truly move through these mental challenges has been to be vulnerable to those around me. I had to practice speaking up when I was feeling off, when my thoughts became bigger than myself, and sought out help when I needed it. But beyond that, I had to accept that the little girl within me was hurting and I needed to let her breathe for the first time. You can’t heal and work on something that has been closed off so badly throughout your life. I had to unlock parts of me, parts of my emotions that I didn’t ever want to face. When you shrink away, you are shrinking away from yourself and your growth. The best part now is I have found people who completely understand it. I have found therapists that have walked me through exposure therapy. And now, my family accepts more about me than I ever thought they would.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Well, I never know how to quite describe what I do! Because really, I have tried to do it all. I started as an actor and performer, which I still love dearly to this day. However, I learned that my favorite thing of all my professional jobs was the family and community I met along the way. That lead me to starting my own photography business, where I take photos of my client’s best days of their lives, as well as meet some of the best people in the world. I have found a love for camera work and producing in the film world, specifically because it combines all my skills into one package. I am the best at people management, being a right-hand woman, and advocating for those who need help. Em Cullum Photography is not just about my product, but about what I bring to you as a friend. No matter if I am on set or at a wedding, I will always be there to creatively push you forward. Storytelling is my background and my passion. It is what keeps me goin’! I know that I can’t work just for myself forever, so I know as I move forward in my career I am looking for a professional family to create together!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The 3 skills I learned myself that was most impactful on my journey was this:

1. Criticism is not failure, it is just a tool of growth

As a people pleaser, I always had a hard time with criticism and problems with my work. I always wanted my clients to be 100% thrilled with their product, and sometimes things as small as fixed edits or losing a booking, it would send me into a tizzy. Thankfully, over the years of theatre kid rejection and working on my communication skills, I have now tried to see criticism as a stepping stone to getting better and better. It is not failure, it is just a moment to realize something you hadn’t noticed before.

2. Its okay not to niche yourself, trying new things might lead you somewhere beautiful.

I felt like I always heard that you needed to “pick a lane” and find the one job where you wanted to find your career in. That could not be more scary for me, who always wanted to try something new. A lot of my jobs and success has been from meeting people in new walks of life, which I never would have done if I stayed on one path. Sometimes I get self critical that I haven’t leaned into just one thing, that maybe being too diverse in my work will be a detriment. But for me, I know that the best things I bring to the table are never just one thing.

3. Be open. Be vulnerable. Actually listen to your gut.

This one is broad but its so important. The most important step in my growth thus far in my journey has been being vocal about myself and my faults, as well as my triumphs and successes. I needed to work on my personal relationships in order to feel happy within my business. I also needed to really get to know myself so that I don’t get lost later in my life. It is a forever journey but you gotta start somewhere ! Sometimes working on your mind and yourself can be more important than the next dollar sign.

Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?

I wouldn’t want to say this when I was younger, cause I was an independent girl, but now I can confidently say that my mentors and parents have been essential to my growth. My NYC mentor Melanie Greene, who took me in as a baby photographer and taught me real estate photo in pandemic. She gave me work and advice and felt like the big sister and auntie I needed. My parents also were tough with me, wouldn’t let me get into debt or pushed me to really think about my strengths when starting my freelance business. They believed in me, but wouldn’t let me jump in without a helping hand. You must let them in, try to understand you and your needs, and let them help you. We cannot go through this alone!!

That being said, sometimes mentors fail you. I had a mentor in college who was very important to me, but ended up being an abuser and made me go into a really dark time for a long time. I had to really push through that, realized that not everything will be fairytales and rainbows and you really have to stick up for yourself. This was one of the most challenging things I have ever gone through, the hard lesson behind professional success. But, if you stay honest and vulnerable, there are communities and strong women who will always have your back. I love working for women in this industry, they are the most inspirational people in my life.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://emcullumphotography.co
• Instagram: emily_cullum_

Image Credits

Em Cullum Photography, Audrey Darke Photography