Meet Emma Brinkman

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Emma Brinkman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Emma below.

Emma, we are so happy that our community is going to have a chance to learn more about you, your story and hopefully even take in some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Let’s start with self-care – what do you do for self-care and has it had any impact on your effectiveness?

Self-care is one of my favorite topics to discuss, because as women, many of us have been conditioned to put others’ needs before our own. Despite the advances of feminism and the popularization of self-care on social media, many women suffer from internalized patriarchy, in which we grind away or give our energy to others at the expense of ourselves, ignoring the signs our body is showing us to slow down, rest, and take care of ourselves.

That’s why it’s the mission of my women’s mentoring business, Ebb & Flow, to reconnect women with the wisdom within their own bodies, in order to live more easeful, vibrant and empowered lives. And a huge part of listening to the wisdom within is being able to accurately acknowledge our needs, which change each day, and then honor those needs to the best of our ability.

With that being said, all of my self-care routines and rituals revolve around the foundational practices of menstrual cycle awareness and cyclical living, which I believe are essential practices for all women who wish to holistically tend to their well-being.

Menstrual cycle awareness (MCA) is, quite simply, the practice of tracking our menstrual cycle days and noting how we are feeling physically, emotionally, energetically, and spiritually each day. Bringing greater awareness to the ebbs and flows that occur within our bodies over the course of the menstrual cycle, gives us a template for navigating the cyclical nature of life and honoring our ever-changing needs throughout the menstrual month. Furthermore, by getting to know our own female bodies so intimately in this way, we increase energy and vitality, as well as creativity, ease and effectiveness. By living cyclically in this way, we start working with our body finally, rather than constantly pushing against it.

Recognizing that my needs change in accordance with my hormones throughout the month, I do my best to sync my own self-care with the four phases of my menstrual cycle, honoring my fluctuating energy levels, emotional needs, and spiritual impulses.

Here are a few of the self-care practices I incorporate into each phase of my cycle:

Menstrual Phase (Apx. Cycle Days 1-5) – rest, yoga nidra or meditation, journaling (reflecting on the past cycle and setting intentions for the cycle ahead), create a small menstrual ritual

Follicular Phase (Apx. Cycle Days 6-13) – plan the cycle ahead, batch cook healthy meals, stronger yoga, longer walks

Ovulatory Phase (Apx. Cycle Days 14-18) – dance, self-massage or self-pleasure, journaling (self-celebrations), strenuous hiking

Luteal Phase (Apx. Cycle Days 19-28) – start to slow down, get a massage, tidy my space, sip cacao

These are some of my favorite self-care practices, which I have synced with my cycle through many years of cycle tracking and inner listening. In taking exquisite care of my body in alignment with my menstrual cycle, I find that I have much more energy to channel into my work, projects, relationships and creativity throughout the month, which makes me more effective and easeful in all areas of life.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a women’s mentor, focusing on somatics and menstrual cycle awareness, and creator of Ebb & Flow. Through Ebb & Flow, I educate women about the menstrual cycle and the female body and how the energies of our cycle affect all areas of our lives as women.

I started Ebb & Flow because I believe that most women are stressed out and exhausted from living against the natural rhythms of their cyclical body, and we aren’t taught about the whole of the hormonal cycle as young women. This lack of education has done a great disservice to women, keeping us unaware of the power and potential that we can unlock within our female body when we really understand how it works.

The female body constantly ebbs and flows– our energy changes according to our fluctuating hormones– and when we live against this natural rhythm, we experience cyclical symptoms, exhaustion, stress, and challenge within our bodies and lives. So, I’m deeply passionate about supporting women to come back into alignment with their body, and work with the energies of their cycle, in order to live with greater ease, vitality, confidence and radiance.

What sets me apart from other menstrual cycle coaches is the approach to embodiment and somatic practice that I embed in my work. I studied dance extensively and have years of experience facilitating intuitive movement practices. I believe that establishing a relationship with our bodies from the inside out, through felt, somatic experience, is the most direct way to heal from stress, burnout, exhaustion, and even challenges such as body image issues or body-dysmorphia.

So as a Somatic Menstrual Cycle Mentor, I work with body-based tools and techniques to guide women into a more easeful and loving relationship with their body. I combine the practices of menstrual cycle awareness and cyclical living, also known as cycle-syncing, with somatic (or body-based) tools and practices. I incorporate somatic meditation, nervous system regulation techniques and intuitive movement practices with menstrual cycle awareness, in order to help women connect deeply with the wisdom of their own bodies in a holistic way. Because I believe that when women connect with this embodied feminine wisdom from the inside out, they can live with less stress and much more ease.

Through these multifaceted tools, women become empowered to use their own bodies and cycles to guide their lives back into greater alignment and flow.

If these practices and tools pique your interest, I have many exciting offers for women to get started:

✴Free resources- I have many free resources available on my website to get you started with cyclical living, including a cycle journal, a guide to cycle-aligned self-care, a guided menstrual meditation, and the Embodied Woman Masterclass.

✴ eBook Workbook- Cycle Love: Menstrual Cycle Awareness as a Feminine Embodiment Practice for Greater Self-love, is a gentle introduction to the practices of menstrual cycle awareness, cyclical living, and feminine embodiment through journal prompts, guided practices and some simple rituals.

✴ Radiant Woman group mentoring program- A gentle, yet transformative program, Radiant Woman is a 6-week group mentorship experience, inspired by the powerful container of a women’s circle. A combination of gentle learning modules, personal reflection exercises, guided embodiment practices, live coaching, and open-hearted sharing, this program is designed to support women on the path to living their full radiance.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Although I’m not yet 40, I often say “I have lived many lives”, having had multiple careers, a marriage and divorce, started multiple businesses, and been a deep soul-seeker along the way. As a woman of continued transformation, I would say the three skills or practices that have been most impactful throughout my journey are:

✴Embodiment – growing up a dancer, the experience of feeling at home in my body is one that came quite naturally to me. Yet, in our fast-paced world, it takes practice and diligence to live from a place of deep embodiment, because so often we are planning, working and living from the mind. I know that in my own life when I am disconnected to my body, I struggle, but when I take the time to reconnect to the felt sensations and emotions within, I create space for a more grounded and centered perspective to take over.

For those looking to deepen their own embodiment, I would recommend starting with simple practices like body scans or interoception (feeling sensation from the inside out), which can work wonders to create a sense of safety in the body, thus supporting nervous system regulation and ease. (I share a lot of these practices on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube, so connect with me there)

✴Compassion (for self and others) – The self-compassion work of Kristin Neff was quite literally life-changing for me. As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have always been deeply compassionate for others, yet I often struggled to extend myself the same compassion and empathy that I gave so easily to others. After discovering Neff’s work and implementing it into my own daily life, the inner dialogue of self-criticism that had been so dominant in my perfectionist tendencies started to wane, and it was replaced with kindness and compassion for my human struggles.

A simple practice that she suggests, which worked wonders for me as I was developing a practice of self compassion, is the self-compassion mantra, which you say to yourself in moments of challenge. I will gladly share the self-compassion mantra I use below (modified from Kristin Neff):

This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.

✴Earth-based spirituality- Before I began Ebb & Flow, I was a professional organic farmer for many years. Working with the land intimately in this way, instilled in me a deep reverence for the natural world. I cultivated a firsthand understanding of the seasonal cycles, and thus, the cycles of life and death inherent in all of life. Seeing the world in this cyclical way, not only contributed to my passion for cyclical living and working with the feminine cycle, but also gave me permission to go through my own cycles of death and rebirth. In essence, it is very permission-giving to understand in an embodied way that we are not designed for constant growth and upward movement; there are periods of time in our lives where we must rest and retreat, turning within for the answers. Working with and observing the natural world enhanced and broadened my perspective, so that I am now less hard on myself when facing challenges or adversity. The butterfly must dissolve completely before she is transformed into that beautiful creature of color and light. So too, must we allow parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us to die off, in order to grow and transform.

For those looking to deepen their own connection to the natural world and/or cycles of life, I would recommend getting to know the Inner Seasons (aka 4 Phases) of your menstrual cycle, or incorporating simple rituals into your life, honoring the lunar cycle, seasonal cycles or significant milestones in your own life. (I also offer guidance in creating rituals and have many free resources available on my website for understanding your own Inner Seasons)

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

As someone who experienced a significant burnout, I struggled with overwhelm for years. Of course there are still moments when I feel overwhelmed at times, but generally speaking, I have created my business and life in such a way that the moments of overwhelm are much shorter and less intense, and I now have tried-and-true strategies for dealing with feelings of anxiety and overwhelm.

Overwhelm generally stems from an overactive mind and a feeling that we have more obligations than we can handle. Although we are usually not in imminent danger, our nervous system perceives anxiety as a threat and responds by activating the stress response, often called “fight-or-flight.” This response can flood our bodies with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which prepare us to face or escape the perceived danger. These stress hormones an cause us to feel chronically overwhelmed, and as women, they greatly affect our hormonal cycle.

So, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it is imperative for me to drop out of my head and into my body. A few of my favorite practices include:

✴Shaking- a powerful somatic practice that helps release built-up tension in the body. Put on some rhythmic music and begin with gentle shaking of your limbs. Gradually, increase the intensity of your shaking, letting it spread through your entire body. Breath deeply while shaking, and leave some time for integration and tuning into your body afterwards.

✴4-7-8 Breathing- A practice developed my Dr. Andrew Weil, this breathwork technique consists of breathing in through your nose for 4 counts, holding your breath for 7 counts, and breathing out through your mouth for 8 counts.

✴A brisk walk outside- A good walk always helps me feel better and less overwhelmed, as I drop out of my head and move my body in Nature.

✴Earthing- This can be done in many ways, but when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find it deeply nourishing to get outside and connect my bare feet with the Earth. If I’m in a city without access to grass, I touch trees and plants as I walk, reminding myself of the greater cycles of life all around.

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Image Credits

Luna Antonia Arboleda

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