Meet Equiller Mahone

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Equiller Mahone a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Equiller, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

Generalized anxiety and depression. As I sat in the psychiatrist’s office I tried to process these words. It was the first semester of graduate school and I instinctively knew something was not quite right. I was barely eating or sleeping. I struggled to complete basic everyday tasks. I was prescribed medication. I remember telling myself as soon as I felt better I was going to stop taking the medication. Unfortunately, this was not a sound plan. I went from 1 pill to almost 6 daily over the years.

Fast forward about 10 years. I was career focused and driven. My biggest enemies continued to be anxiety and depression. Over time I learned to pinpoint when I was having a depressive episode. The piles start to make their appearance around the house. Days and weeks pass by and I could not get started on what seemed like a small task. To an outsider it looked like procrastination.

One of the worst feelings is realizing you are depressed and trying to maintain the daily status quo. I masked before it became a requirement. Over time and with vulnerability, those closest to me now know when I’m in the midst of a battle with anxiety and depression. I try to be intentional about checking in with those closest to let them know when I am feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and/or depression.

I wish I could say I have a “handle” on anxiety and depression. Some days and months I do. Then there are times when it comes swinging from left field. There have been some tough conversations. Harsh realities called out about how my mental health was impacting my physical health.Neither anxiety or depression take kindly to being ignored. Too many co-pays and tests to only be told the only possible cause is stress and anxiety. Imagine being told you just have an anxious personality when you feel like you are having a heart attack.

Prayer, therapy, medication and an amazing support system help me to keep going. I look forward to many more healthier days all while trying to give myself grace. I learned to advocate for myself. I tried a couple different therapists before I found my person. My therapist and I now laugh about how I marched into her office for intake with a list of things that needed to be addressed. I am still learning how to listen to my body and take care of myself. Rest is no longer a cuss word for me. I worked through my own bias and ignorance around mental health. At this point I still need medication and that’s okay. I stopped (okay I am still navigating this) showing up for everyone and not allowing people to show up for me. I have been that strong friend that needed to be checked on. The friend who paused her own stubborn tears to show up for others. My therapist reminded me that everyone assumes I have it all together and that despite what’s going on I am fine. I look like everything is okay. I rarely asked for any type of help from those around me. Honestly it felt embarrassing. Why couldn’t I just relax? I wish it was that simple.

Not surprising, anxiety loudly marched in when I started to think about sharing my personal story about my mental health. Dealing with a mental health challenge often feels lonely and isolating. Essentially you’re trying to convince someone that you’re not feeling like yourself although you look like your usual self. I am grateful we are creating more spaces to discuss challenges with mental health.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a Project Associate at non-profit law firm where I focus on HIV initiatives. I have over a decade of experience of providing advocacy to victims and survivors of domestic, sexual and child abuse. In recent years I have served in key leadership roles for non-profit agencies. In additional to my advocacy efforts I have taught various courses in Human Development and Family Studies on the collegiate level.

I look forward to inspiring and growing future leaders while reminding them to take care of themselves mentally and physically.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

My advice to folks who are early in their journey is to be proactive in taking care of themselves. I also encourage others not to minimize their mental health challenges or allow others to do so. Each person’s approach to mental challenges is different and you have to figure out what works best for you.

Persistence and vulnerability are the top two qualities that were most impactful in my journey. I learned I had to be vulnerable with my care team so they could provide the appropriate life style changes and medication. When you are in a dark space the last thing you may think about is persistence. Yet, it is learning how to push through the darkness to find the light.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

Although I do not go into great detail about how mental health challenges impacted my career, I would love to connect and partner with other individuals who are interested in the intersectionality of mental health and leadership. I can be contacted through LinkedIn (Equiller Mahone) or via email: empowermentconsulting8@gmail.com.

Contact Info:

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/equiller-mahone-ba5734325
• Other: Email: empowermentconsulting8@gmail.com