Meet Erica Webb

We recently connected with Erica Webb and have shared our conversation below.

Erica, we are so happy that our community is going to have a chance to learn more about you, your story and hopefully even take in some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Let’s start with self-care – what do you do for self-care and has it had any impact on your effectiveness?
As a counsellor and somatic exercise coach, self-care is my world. It’s really important to me that I both practice what I preach AND that I use my own experiences to have deep empathy and understanding for how hard it can be to truly meet ourselves in self-caring ways. A large part of my self-care centres around movement – I walk, do somatic exercise and yoga, take regular mindful movement pauses, go rollerskating and play basketball. But probably more important than any of that is the foundation of self-kindness I have fostered that makes self-care truly possible. I am committed to meeting myself with kindness and compassion and it is through that lens that my self-care practices comes about. I like to think of self-kindness as an actionable value – self-care becomes an expression of self-kindness, which is ultimately a reflection of self-respect. This has had a huge impact on my life and effectiveness. I used to sink into self-loathing pretty easily, but not anymore. Self-care in this context has almost become less about the DOING and more about the BEING and that has made me more self-aware and effective.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I support other Highly Sensitive People (HSP) to feel more at home within their own skin. As a counsellor and somatic exercise coach I take an holistic approach to mental fitness and physical tension for HSPs. Navigating what it is to be sensitive in an often overwhelming world can be confusing, and I aim to help with that. Key to this is body and nervous system awareness and education – what do the things we feel in our bodies mean? And how can we make a difference to our body and mind through movement, mindfulness and self-kindness? The focus on self-kindness and how this can form the foundation for self-care is really special and, I think, an exciting departure from shame-driven motivation. That approach simply doesn’t work for HSPs; we have to find a better way. I work with people in three ways: 1) in 1-1 somatic counselling sessions; 2) inside the SelfKind Hub – my online home of mind-body resources to move well and connect with yourself kindly; and 3) in my 6 week small group program, SOMA:HOME.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Curiosity. Curiosity is Queen! I think I’ve always been a naturally curious human, but I’ve also spent time fostering this quality in order to both better serve the humans I work with and to shift away from self-judgment. Self-judgment is so often the thing that makes self-care (and having an impact beyond our own lives) feel so hard because it becomes a judgment of worth. When we can interrupt that judgment with curiosity, we open a door to different options, including kindness and compassion. My advice for other folk looking to foster their own curiosity is to practice a simple phrase: ‘Oh, isn’t that interesting …’ This simple phrase can interrupt judgment in a hot second, and allow you to see different possibilities that exist beyond the snap judgment.

2. Somatic Exercise. I started my mindful movement career (and personal practice) through Yoga. But a few years into my career, I studied, quite by accident, to become one of the first Somatic Exercise Coaches in Australia. This modality literally changed my life, my career and my relationship with myself and my body. The quality of somatic exercise is slow, deeply mindful and infused with curiosity. It became my go-to for connecting with my body, easing chronic tension and regulating my nervous system. For other folks looking to explore somatic exercise, or mindful movement in general, I would suggest finding a teacher you enjoy learning from (whether it’s in person or online) and stay open-minded to a new modality. We often associate high effort with results, but somatic exercise flips that notion and we find results coming from low effort. So be patient, stay curious, and lead with a willingness to hear your body’s whispers.

3. Self-kindness. I go on about this one a lot! But for good reason. Learning to be self-kind was a game changer. From the perspective of self-care, it wasn’t until I learned to be self-kind (and compassionate) that the self-care had any impact. Prior to that, I would go through the self-care motions, only to feel the same or even worse than I did before. Because I never felt kind or loving or respectful of my need for self-care. For other folks curious about what self-kindness could look like for them, I like to start with a simple question. When faced with an opportunity to choose ‘what now’, ask yourself: ‘what could a self-kind action look like right now?’ Pause and give yourself time to get curious about what comes up.

How would you describe your ideal client?
I’ve been very lucky to work with all kinds of clients over the years. It’s actually taken me 15 years to land on the language of the Highly Sensitive Person to describe who is best suited to working with me. The qualities of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) are often well-suited to my work: HSPs feel deeply, think deeply and often feel almost painfully self-aware. They’re often the kinds of people who ‘know’ a lot of what they need – they are deeply insightful, but realise that that’s not always enough to take the kinds of actions that will make them feel better than they currently do. I work with people who are experiencing the physical and emotional impacts of their high sensitivity – tight and tense muscles, nervous systems that are on high alert, feelings of shame and sadness, feeling misunderstood by others and frustrated by what they see as their excessive need for self-care. At the same time, these clients tend to be really committed to learning to be in a self-kind and compassionate relationship with themselves. They aren’t victims and they know it; but they’re ready to stop feeling like one.

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