Meet Ernestine Hopkins

We were lucky to catch up with Ernestine Hopkins recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ernestine, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I had to intentionally unlearn years of negative thinking that stemmed from disappointments and experiences that caused me to see myself in a poor light. Growing up, I was made fun of at school and often criticized by others, including extended family, about my appearance, which led me to internalize feelings of inadequacy. As an adult, I poured my energy into my career, and over time, I began to tie my identity to my performance and professional titles. When those titles were no longer there, I realized I didn’t truly know who I was outside of what I did.

That realization led me on a journey of rediscovering my worth. I started therapy, which helped me process the root of my insecurities and begin rebuilding a healthier self-image. Around the same time, I read “The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes” by Robert S. McGee. The book helped me understand the difference between my truth in the moment, which sometimes tells me I am not good enough, and the real truth, which is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, chosen, valuable, forgiven, redeemed, and fully accepted by God. I came to realize that our personal truth can sometimes keep us running in circles, while God’s truth fills us and moves us forward. Once I began to hold on to that real truth, I started to rebuild my confidence and sense of identity. Now, when negative thoughts try to creep in, I remind myself of who I truly am and replace self-doubt with faith, gratitude, and appreciation for the beautiful, evolving woman I am and the ever-growing woman I am becoming.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I’m a Certified Life Coach and Brainspotting Therapist, and I run Hopkins Consulting, which is part of With The Hopkins, a brand my husband and I built together. Through our work, we help women heal after infidelity, rebuild their confidence, and rediscover their sense of self. We also coach couples who are either healing from betrayal or simply want to strengthen their relationship.

One of the things I’m most excited about is the integration of Brainspotting therapy into our coaching programs. Brainspotting, developed by Dr. David Grand in 2003, is a focused treatment method that helps identify, process, and release trauma, emotional pain, and other internal blocks. It uses the brain’s natural ability to find and heal what needs attention, which allows people to experience deep emotional and even physical transformation. Watching clients find freedom and peace after years of carrying hidden pain is one of the most rewarding parts of what I do.

Hopkins Consulting also has another side, Grant Writing and Grant Management, where we bring over 15 years of experience helping organizations secure and manage funding for meaningful community projects. It’s a wonderful blend of purpose and impact, allowing me to serve both individuals and institutions that are changing lives.

Beyond coaching and consulting, we’ve also created several faith-based resources to support healing and personal growth, including:

-The Mended Rib: A 27-Day Devotional for Men Battling Lust and Infidelity (Workbook and YouVersion Bible App Devotional)
-I Stayed: Healing Past Hurt, Betrayal, and Infidelity (Workbook and YouVersion Bible App Devotional)
-The Best Week of Your Marriage (YouVersion Bible App Devotional)
-The Marriage Altaer Podcast, where my husband and I talk with our co-hosts about faith, love, and real-life marriage challenges
-Facebook group for women healing after infidelity

Our heart behind everything we do is simple: to help people heal, rediscover their worth, and embrace the fullness of who God created them to be, whether that’s in their personal lives, their relationships, or their purpose.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back, three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are resilience, self-awareness, and empathy.

Resilience allowed me to keep moving forward through seasons of disappointment, uncertainty, and change. I learned that setbacks are not stop signs; they’re invitations to grow. My advice to anyone early in their journey is to embrace challenges as opportunities to build strength. Every “no” or obstacle is preparing you for what’s next.

Self-awareness has been essential in helping me understand who I am, what I value, and how I show up for others. Therapy, journaling, and faith have played major roles in helping me identify limiting beliefs and replace them with truth. For those just starting out, take time to pause, reflect, and check in with yourself often. Growth begins with self-understanding.

Empathy has shaped how I connect with people and serve them. Whether in coaching, business, or leadership, empathy creates trust and fosters healing. To develop empathy, listen more than you speak and seek to understand rather than judge.

If you can cultivate resilience, self-awareness, and empathy early on, you’ll not only grow stronger personally but also create a deeper, more meaningful impact wherever your path leads.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

If I knew I only had a decade of life left, I would spend it helping people see themselves the way God sees them, as worthy, loved, and whole. So many people live bound by their past, carrying pain, shame, and regret that keep them from experiencing freedom and purpose. I would dedicate that time to helping others heal from their trauma, rediscover their identity, and walk in the truth of who they are.

I would also pour my life into compassion and service, feeding the hungry, uplifting those who feel forgotten, and seeing Christ in every person I encounter. My goal would be to make each day count by leaving people better than I found them through love, encouragement, and faith. Ultimately, I would want my last decade to reflect what truly matters: helping others experience healing, freedom, and hope through the love of God. Matthew 25:35–40

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Image Credits

Maxwell Shavers Photography

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