Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Esme Michaela . We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Esme, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
To me, resilience is the ability to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity, even when I might not really want to. “We didn’t come this far just to come this far” -Matthew Reilly, The Three Secret Cities (I haven’t read this book, I saw the quote on Instagram)
It’s funny because, as one of my side jobs, I teach disadvantaged young girls life skills such as boundaries, self esteem and resilience, and this was where I learned what the word really means- and that it’s a quality I pride myself in having.
As cliché as it sounds, my Mum always instilled a strong work ethic in me, telling me not to give up unless I had tried the very most that I could. As a child that dreamed of becoming an actor/ business woman, this stuck with me in every production I performed in and every hustle I embarked on, including buying fruit and veg from Tesco and reselling it for profit around the village.
Applying for, and getting rejected from drama schools was the first time my resilience was put to the test in my adult life. Eventually I received a full scholarship from The New York Film Academy, where I studied Acting for Film. Being this far away from home was exceptionally difficult for me and my mental health declined rapidly, as I reached my final semester I realised I was sick with an eating disorder, something that I had been struggling with many years. The first person I told was my Mum, who asked me if I wanted to come home, to focus on recovery. I thought back to my favourite quote and kept on moving forward. I couldn’t have done this without the support of my friends back home and in New York. Unfortunately my drama school experience was cut short due to the first Covid 19 pandemic, meaning I had to move home early.
Through this time my resilience was really tested, staying in a stressful living environment and dealing with the uncertainty of lockdown. Here I wondered most if I should change careers, retrain in something more reliable. I think the main reason I didn’t was because of this weird deep down desire I have to succeed in whatever way I feel is succeeding- and giving up due to Covid was not on the cards for me.
After over a year of lockdowns, with acting roles being hard to find, I decided to take matter into my own hands by co-creating a show, based on my own diagnosis of a hidden disability, and taking it to the Edinburgh Festival. Through my hard work I managed to get an acting agent, around the same time that I founded my production company, Evulve Productions. Staring this company felt like the final culmination of all of my experiences, creating performances about my mental health issues and physical disorders. Things started feeling like they were paying off when I was evicted which resulted in me, my partner and our two cats, becoming homeless. Again, my resilience was put to the test. I still dedicated myself, daily, to my career however due to my personal circumstances opportunities I was given and created were falling through- unfortunately despite how hard I tried I couldn’t give my best self to anyway whilst I was living in such uncertain circumstances- again. Because of this I sadly lost my agent.
It seemed as soon as things in my personal life started looking up, things in my business did too- fundraising for our LGBTQ+ short film starting picking up, we held successful events and our team grew quickly. I wholeheartedly thank this success on my support system, my friends, Mum and girlfriend who constantly believed in me through this hard time. Without them I worry my inner resilience may not have been enough.
Now, due to the Libra in me this still wasn’t enough- now I wanted to start making strides in my acting career again. So, I did what I do best and made countless lists in my Filofax and formulated a plan of action.
Since then I have found myself emailing performing in-front of industry professionals monthly, auditioning for companies I have long admired and bettering my craft by attending acting classes. At the time of this interview I am still searching for a new agent and my resilience definitely still gets tested but I try to stay true to myself and my core values. And when I’m feeling like I do want to give up I am fortunate enough to have my Mum, partner and friends there to remind me to keep on going.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
As aforementioned I am the founder of Evulve Productions, an education arts production company that creates theatre, film and resources about feminist topics that might not otherwise be taught in educational institutions.
We are currently in preproduction/ fundraising stages for a short film ‘Love Wins’ that tells true stories from those within the LGBTQ+ community from over the past one hundred years. This film is so important as it will serve as a reminder that queer people, such as myself, have been around forever- a key message in light of LGBTQ+ rights being stopped all over the globe. We are currently selling Queer Barbie themed stickers to contribute to our fundraising.
We are also in the very early stages of our next project, which is a theatre and film project that tells the story of a woman in her late twenties, who finally confronts her period problems. Through this journey we watch as her relationship grows with her menopausal mother. We are super excited about this project and encourage anyone who has experience ovarian or Menstrual health issues to follow our socials to look out for opportunities to get involved.
My company is so important to me as it is a place where I can stretch my creativity and work on pieces that otherwise aren’t being made for people like me. I also find it important to give other marginalised people the opportunity to work along side me.
As you will have gathered being an actor is a very important part of my identity, and has fueled my whole journey and life. Because of the mindset I’ve mentioned to you I’ve started putting myself out there to new opportunities, that I used to be too scared or intimidated to do. Most recently this has bought me success proven by my recent acceptance into the National Youth Theatre, something that I have applied to before but never believed I was really worthy of. Now I know I am, and they know it too.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Learning about who I truly was has been by far the most beneficial part of my journey. Having an eating disorder through my formative years caused me to have a major disconnect between my actions and what I truly wanted from life.
Once I began my recovery I became more attuned with my mind and my body, taking me on a journey of self discovery. Because of this I managed to get a diagnosis for my hidden disability. Therefore my most important skill has been self acceptance, only with true self acceptance can you really full heartedly go for opportunities that arise.
My most valued area of knowledge is about my own health, physical and mental. So that I can always understand my own capabilities and what’s going on for myself. I could achieve my greatest achievements but if I wasn’t mentally well these achievements wouldn’t mean anything.
Finally, I would say that my most important quality is compassion. This has proved key in keeping overseas friendships as well as managing my team of volunteers.
My key piece of advice I would give to anyone just starting out would be to really get to know themselves, then they can always trust in their own decisions and to do the right thing.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
Despite being on a long journey of self discovery, I have still found myself separating my CEO self from my performer self- and definitely separating myself from my one-homeless-self.
Over the last year I have been working letting myself be a human first. Through this I have been able to more confidently present myself in networking and panel opportunities.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.evulveproductions.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evulveproductions?igsh=OXZsN2tkcDVjM3p5&utm_source=qr
- Other: https://www.instagram.com/esmemichaela?igsh=MTR6MTZtZDR4b3V6dw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://app.spotlight.com/0011-4531-2193
Image Credits
Personal picture: Mad Max Photography Show picture in kilt: Carys Hughes Event pictures in pink blazer: Tendai Pottinger
