We were lucky to catch up with Farah Merani recently and have shared our conversation below.
Farah, thank you so much for joining us and offering your lessons and wisdom for our readers. One of the things we most admire about you is your generosity and so we’d love if you could talk to us about where you think your generosity comes from.
That’s an easy answer – my parents. Hands down. I was raised on the motto: the more you have, the more you give. We had a running joke in our house that if there was still floor space, there was still room for guests. It was an open door policy in our home so we became the host for everything from wedding receptions to orphans Thanksgiving to a welcome dinner for the entire university student population in our community! My mom really was the hostess with the mostess [chuckle].
I actually can’t remember a time when we didn’t have visitors staying with us for both long and short-term stays. My dad‘s sister lived with us while she was at university, we had a revolving door of exchange students, and somebody was always coming to visit us. I think that really left an impression on me as a young child because it let me see what it looks like to welcome someone into your home and care for them with open hearts and open arms. It’s something I’m deeply committed to practising in my adult life and ensuring my home also feels like that, so my children grow up experiencing the same kind of openness and generosity at home.
Both of my parents modelled what it looks like to not only be generous with resources, whether that’s financial or material, but also with time, service, and love. It’s also a foundational pillar of our faith, as Ismaili Muslims, and my parents, both in their own separate and united ways, impressed upon my brother and I the importance of generosity in our family, in our communities, and globally. From a young age, we were encouraged to put a portion of our allowances towards charitable giving. We would participate in charity walks as a family, volunteer at our community events, and participate in school fundraising activities together. One of my most profound memories is a tradition my folks started when we were really young. Throughout the year, we’d collect all our pennies in a jar and in Christmas Eve, the four of us would go to the local women’s shelter and give them the overfilling jar, along with a box of chocolates and anything else we felt inspired to give that year. Eventually, my little brother got to old to join us at the door (for security reasons) so it was only my mum and I who delivered the donations, but we continued going as a family for years.
It’s funny, now that I’m reflecting on this, I’m realizing I have always had a portion of my life involved in some kind of volunteer program or activity. From starting a nonprofit in Toronto for women in the entertainment industry to being on the board of Muslims for progressive values now, here in Los Angeles, the desire to share and give back has always been a part of my life, both professionally and personally. Even in the lean times, giving of my time was one way that I felt useful in the world. It’s something I am very grateful to my parents for instilling in me and something. I hope I can nurture in my children as they grow up as well.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
As a Canadian transplant to LA who pursued her dreams of “making it in Hollywood”, I’m pleased to say that all of my dreams have come true [laughter]. Well, they may not be exactly as I imagined, but a version of them. The fact that I live in the City of Angels and have made it my home, have built my career and expanded it here, making my living entirely from my creative endeavours. I really do feel like I am living out an amazing version of my wildest dreams.
One of the most profound aspects of this is the network and community of, specifically, incredible women and mothers in my orbit. I never thought that becoming a mother would give me the confidence to become this next version of myself and meet other women experiencing the same kind of growth and expansion. My husband likes to call it the “Mom Mafia” and he’s not entirely wrong [chuckle]. I feel like I’m in a position now that my younger self could have only dared to dream of, with the kinds of relationships I never would have been able to develop if I lived anywhere else. Specifically, I’d like to mention an experience that made the profoundest of impacts, and that was getting into the Sundance Episodic Lab three months after my daughter was born. The woman who runs the program, Jandiz Estrada Cardoso,, showed me what it really looks like to be supported in this industry as a creative <i>and</i> a mother. This opportunity was too important to pass on, but I also knew I had an infant to care for and, with Jandiz’s support, I was able to bring my family up to Sundance, UT for the week. They gave us the resources we needed to care for our baby – along with the time I needed to be there for her – while also supporting me so I could be present for my fellow cohort members and the program needs. It left an impression on me that I have not lost and, effectively, let me see what it looks like to be supported in my personal life so that my professional life can also flourish.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The first one is definitely my family motto: The more you have the more you give. See my answer to the first question [chuckle].
Second, is to always find time for play and fun. Especially when things feel tough, there’s always an opportunity to play. There’s nothing like a toddler to remind you of that! And if you don’t have a toddler, just step outside and watch how a dog loves the feeling of being outside or children run freely in a park. It’s the most humbling thing to be reminded by their innocence. That life doesn’t always have to be hard.
The third one is something that has taken me a few years to really embody and practice, and that is letting go of people who don’t add to your life. As a bona fide people pleaser, the idea of someone not liking me was something that prevented me from being authentically me in a variety of different relationships, including the one with myself. When I started acknowledging that I don’t have to be everybody’s friend and not everybody has to like me, it was like a weight was lifted off my heart. It can be challenging for the people who know you to witness this kind of evolution, and they may try to keep you small and familiar to them so they can feel comfortable, but ultimately the people who love you through the painful growth periods ones are the ones you wanna keep around.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
I know this sounds really trite or maybe even cliché, but it’s truly been the most profound area of growth in my life, and that is becoming a mother. I never realized how much fun it could be, along with the many many challenges, but it’s the fun that I’ve been able to inject into other parts of my life. Becoming a mother has allowed me to be less precious about certain things, especially the little dramas that would pop up or the ups and downs of this crazy TV and Film Industry that can sometimes feel all consuming. It’s really helped me get perspective on what truly matters and what I spend my time on. That last piece, time being a huge one [chuckle]. I have so much less of it and yet I’m still able to get so much done. Because I have less of it to spare, I have to be really specific about what I use it for, which means, I do less shit stuff [laughter]. I do less things that deplete me and more things that fill me up because I know I only have a limited amount of time to do those things. Anither thing, I never thought becoming a mother would teach me a real lesson in boundaries. The boundaries I create with work folk, the boundaries I create with my family, and the boundaries I create with myself. I’m so much more empowered to carve out my own time with less guilt now because I know how important it is to me and how time I make for me benefits not only me but also my child, my partner and my creative work. It’s truly been the biggest revelation of the last three years of my life.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.farahmerani.com
- Instagram: @fa_me
Image Credits
Headshot – Kaitlin Saltzman
Family shot – Kaitlin Saltzman
Maternity shot – Maura Grace Athari
