We recently connected with Fiona Langford and have shared our conversation below.
Fiona, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
It’s an interesting question to reflect on. For me personally, it starts with really knowing myself and being clear about what I value most. I’m aware of my strengths and weaknesses and understand my patterns (a work in progress). My values guide me and remind me why I do what I do. Doing the inner work to really know who I am and what matters most to me has absolutely built my confidence and self-esteem. It’s been a lifelong journey.
I try to continually self-reflect and take responsibility for my growth. I’m committed to spending the rest of my life getting to know and understand myself better. Also, like many of us, I’ve gone through some big challenges in my life. None of us like going through hard times but overcoming them does build confidence, it reminds me of what I’m capable of.
I’ve also worked hard to develop healthier boundaries in my relationships, both personally and professionally. Taking care of my wellbeing by letting others know what’s okay and what’s not okay for me has been a game changer. I was a chronic people pleaser, so I understand that setting boundaries can be really hard at first. Making myself a priority and expressing my feelings and needs absolutely helped build my confidence and self-esteem. It takes practice. It’s about having your own back.
Finally, self-compassion is super important and something I’ve consciously developed. There are going to be days when you face rejection or disappointment, and your confidence takes a knock. These are the times you need to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Instead of falling into self blame and shame, you need to remind yourself you’re only human. You must shut down any negative self talk and instead speak to yourself the way you would a best friend. Be kind to yourself, always! It’s about accepting that some days you’re going to show up as your best self and other days you’re not, and that’s okay.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’ve always been a curious person. After studying Broadcast Journalism, I worked as an executive radio producer for years which I loved. Along the way, I became more and more interested in human behaviour, psychology and relationship theory and I knew this was an area I wanted to learn more about.
After going through my own Conscious Uncoupling in 2014, I decided I wanted to help others to have the kindest most respectful separation they could. This led me to studying with leading therapist and the author of Conscious Uncoupling, Katherine Woodward-Thomas. After becoming a Certified Conscious Uncoupling coach, I went on to study Katherine’s other course ‘Calling in the One’. This course helps people to understand themselves better so they can attract the relationship that’s right for them. I love supporting my clients through these programs and watching them thrive. It’s really amazing and inspiring to witness and I get to work with people from all over the world.
I’m currently developing my own online dating course called ‘Right Swipe with Fi’ that I’m excited to launch in the first half of 2024. It will include the very best of what I believe people need to know when getting back into the world of dating. I truly understand how overwhelming, confusing and scary it can be!
Supporting clients to live their best lives and break free from their limiting patterns is so rewarding. It takes real courage to face yourself and take full responsibility for your happiness and life.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I became very intentional about how I wanted to feel in my business. This was actually before I even knew what it would be!
What I did know was that I was ready to create a business where I made a positive impact on people’s lives. I wanted to work for myself and have the freedom to create a business that reflected my values. I knew I wanted it to be in the field of relationships, growth and transformation and I knew a strength of mine was connecting with people in a way that allowed them to feel safe enough to open up and embrace new possibilities for themselves. I remember so clearly the day I wrote it all down on paper!
Not long after, I discovered Katherine’s Conscious Uncoupling training and that was the start of my relationship coaching career. From the moment I started, it felt right. A big part of my journey was trusting my intuition and just going for it. Remember, don’t compare yourself to others, you’ve got to run your own race.
I think my curiosity, thirst for knowledge and my own self discovery journey really helped me find what was right for me. I would say trust your gut, get to know your values and yourself well, be okay with not having all the answers, ask for help, surround yourself with positive energy and people who cheer you on, be open minded and don’t give up.
Remember, courage builds confidence. The braver you can be by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things the more confident you’ll become.
Even if whatever you’re trying doesn’t work out, it doesn’t matter, just the fact you gave it a go and you’re still standing will remind you that you that no matter what you take on, you’re going to be okay. You’ll feel a sense of pride that will absolutely build your self-esteem. You need to learn to trust yourself.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
I think my biggest challenge is managing my time. I have a lot of ideas, and have so much I want to get done. It’s about trying to find a balance between life’s demands and my business that can be hard at times.
I’m really learning as I go and working out what works and what doesn’t. Starting my business has made me realise how important good daily habits are. Our daily habits really do create our life. I’m constantly working on developing better daily habits and understanding how and when I work best and organising my day accordingly. It’s constantly evolving. Some days I get it right and some days I don’t. I found the book Atomic Habits by James Clear very helpful. Staying curious and open minded, self reflecting all the time and being self aware helps.
I’ve become better at asking for advice. That’s been really important. Asking others who have more experience in a particular area for advice with how they manage their time and business and trying to connect with others running their own businesses can give you that inspiration you need at times.
As a Relationship Coach, I see firsthand how self-confidence and self-esteem impact on my client’s happiness and wellbeing. It’s so important to get to know what builds your confidence and self-esteem and surround yourself with those positive things and people. It will make all the difference.
Contact Info:
- Website: fionalangford.com
- Instagram: @fi_your_relationship_coach
Image Credits
Monika Berry
