Meet Frank Quinones

We were lucky to catch up with Frank Quinones recently and have shared our conversation below.

Frank , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

Resiliency is one of our greatest strengths as humans. Our ability to work through difficult situations and bounce back, creates the mental toughness and grit that serves as building blocks for managing future difficult situations.

Growing up in tough/disadvantaged neighborhood has served as one of those building blocks in my life. Within New Brunswick, New Jersey lies two different worlds. On one side of the city, sits the bubble that is Rutgers University, housing future-oriented students with aspirations, goals, opportunities, and resources to achieve those goals. But taking a walk down George St. passed Rockoff Hall and turning right onto Remsen Avenue, leads you into a completely different world. This space is often times filled with despair, generational curses, and systemic oppression. It can be hard to find hope in this type of environment. However, there is much beauty in seeing people rise up and work through these difficult situations, to make ends meet daily and to even change the path that has been laid for them.

As a middle child in a family of 8, I learned early on to navigate life on my own. As my parents were both immigrants, leaning on them for support in academics and other social needs was difficult. Although they laid a great foundation when it came to work ethic and faith, I relied on other avenues that helped me preserve in this environment. I joined a program called the Latino Scholars in elementary school, that provided guidance and mentorship from Latino students at Rutgers University. This helped me see that there were more opportunities beyond my circumstances and that I too could find a way to succeed.

While the temptations and opportunities to sell drugs and engage in other illegal means to support myself were constantly available, I was blessed with an opportunity that my older brother connected me to. I began working at the local sneaker store at the age of 14, sacrificing extra-curricular activities and my weekends, to spend the next 4 years gaining valuable life skills. Along the way, I was able to pay it forward, by providing this same opportunity to my siblings and neighborhood friends.

Through all of my experiences, I’ve learned to appreciate people and their journeys. We all experience difficult moments in life and have to make difficult choices at times. I have learned from the resiliency of my dad whose father took his own life when my dad was a kid.
My dad took on the responsibility of being the “man of the house”, becoming a primary support for his family. I have learned from my mother who migrated to the US from Nicaragua on her own at the age of 18. Speaking very little English and not having a support system, she learned to navigate and find a way through the many obstacles that came her way.

I have learned how to be resilient through the strong-willed people of my community, such as one of my childhood friends’ mother. While struggling with drug addiction, I watched her collect cans and find other ways to make sure that he had somewhere to stay and food to eat. I gained resilience through my experience in high school on the first day of my freshman year. The principal held an assembly with my entire freshmen class, to let us know that more than half us in the room would not make it to graduation in 4 years. I’ve learned from neighborhood friends that survived abuse, neglect, violence, prison, and other bumps along the path and are thriving today. I choose to be resilient today because of my 3 kids and my amazing wife, who show me how beautiful life is and worth fighting for every single day. I’ve gained resilience through all of these stories, because their story is my story!

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

My journey has led me to a career in Social Work, where I have worked with people and communities facing challenges through all walks of life. My current focus is in Mental Health and I work for a company that provides employee assistance benefits to employer groups around the country. I also have a growing mental health therapy practice that I am passionate about and see clients weekly in the evenings.

By day, I manage a program that helps employees get connected to community-based resources, to help alleviate some of the struggles and barriers in their lives. I have an amazing team that is truly dedicated to this work and show up every day, ready to make an impact. By night, I jump into therapist mode, where I meet with clients virtually, helping them work through current stressors or unresolved issues that may be holding them back.

I have particularly begun to focus on working with men who struggle with depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and other risky behaviors. I have been drawn to this population, as I can relate to some of the struggles of seeking support and opening up about your issues or feelings. I have created a space for men to come as they are and work through their issues in a non-judgmental environment. As highlighted in the statistics below, there is an unmet need for men’s mental health in our society and I hope to continue to grow my therapy practice and offer additional solutions to help meet these needs.

• 6 million men in the US are affected by depression each year.
• Men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide than women.
• Only 42% of men seek treatment for mental health issues.
• Men are less likely to seek help than women, due to factors such as stigma and cultural expectations.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that have been instrumental on my journey are finding and utilizing mentors, tapping into your inner resilience and grit, and recognizing/challenging imposter syndrome.

Throughout my journey, I have met many genuine and good people who have helped me along the way. Even if it was just for that brief moment in my life, mentors been there to guide me and have provided additional encouragement and motivation as I navigated uncharted territories.
It can be intimidating to ask for help or to ask someone to become your mentor. You can start by reaching out and sharing your interests in their work, framing things as an opportunity to learn from their expertise. Most people will feel flattered to be considered as someone who others confide in and reach out for support.

Tapping into your inner resilience and grit when you hit a roadblock, can help you push forward in those tough moments where you may want to quit. Remember, that you have been here before and can tap into those previous instances where you overcame a struggle and persevered.

Lastly, as a Latino male who grew up in a disadvantaged community, imposter syndrome tends to creep in occasionally and challenges my personal beliefs, qualifications, and accomplishments. I have learned to recognize when this is happening and use positive re-framing techniques to challenge these negative thoughts. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are meant to be here. You have worked hard, if not twice as hard to be in the position you are in, so keep pushing forward!

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

As I look to expand my therapy practice and expand beyond therapy into helping people on a larger scale, I hope to partner with like-minded individuals, communities, churches, schools, and companies who have similar interests. If you are interested in partnering, mentorship, or guidance, you can reach out via email to [email protected].

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/frank-quinones-san-antonio-tx/1111139
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frank-quinones-mba-lcsw-s-pmp-37064029