Meet Gabriela Encina

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Gabriela Encina. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Gabriela below.

Hi Gabriela, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Before my big move overseas, I felt pretty good about myself. I had a good job, great friends, and I could take care of myself financially. Life was smooth sailing, and I did whatever I wanted without much worry.

But everything changed when I fell in love with an Austrian guy and decided to move to Vienna. Suddenly, I was faced with a bunch of challenges I hadn’t anticipated: language barriers, feeling out of place in a new culture, missing home, and feeling anxious. It was like being a kid again, and even simple things like going to the doctor or getting a haircut felt overwhelming in a foreign language. I felt like a child and almost everything seemed like mount Everest.

It took a lot of inner work and support from my partner, friends and my therapist to start feeling good about myself again. I kept pushing myself to learn the language, even though it was tough and sometimes I felt like giving up. I made an effort to meet new people and say yes to invitations, even when I didn’t feel like it. And I learned to celebrate small victories, even if they didn’t seem like a big deal.

Instead of ignoring my worries and frustrations, I learned to accept them and focus on what I could do to feel better. Confidence isn’t something you’re just born with, it’s not a trait – it’s something you have to practice every day, like any other skill.

Since I started doing that, my confidence has grown a lot. I’ve learned to see failures and pitfalls as part of the learning process, and I feel more capable of taking on whatever life throws my way. That’s also why my main purpose now is show expats that, as I did, they can reclaim their confidence back and develop a healthy self-esteem and a thriving international identity.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m a psychologist and coach with more than 20 years of experience, so it felt natural to me to combine my professional and personal experience to support humans coping with similar challenges as I did, and I’ve been offering counseling online to expats and internationals for 6 years now. The challenges we expats encounter are as unique as the lifestyle we’ve chosen. While there are many talented psychologist out there, my own experience has shown me that unless they’ve lived it, they may not fully grasp the complexities of moving to a new country, starting afresh, tackling language barriers, navigating cultural shocks, and wrestling with feelings of loneliness, guilt, and grief that often accompany such transitions.

No need for my clients to explain expat life to me – I’ve walked in their shoes, and I continue to do so. This shared understanding saves us valuable time and ensures we’re always on the same page. They won’t hear simplistic advice like “just go back home” from me, as unfortunately, many non-expat mental health professionals tend to offer.

Contrary to popular belief, life as an expat isn’t always a bed of roses; it’s a mixed bag of extraordinary opportunities intertwined with moments of anxiety, loneliness, burnout, and even depression.

Expats who work with me find a safe haven to openly discuss the highs, lows, and everything in between of expat life. Together, we equip them with practical tools and strategies to shape the life they desire, reach their full potential, and thrive wherever their journey takes them.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1.- Courage Over Fear: Despite wrestling with worries, fears, and self-doubt, I consistently summoned the courage to pursue what truly mattered to me. Whether it was relocating to new countries, mastering unfamiliar languages, or navigating life-altering changes like divorce and new relationships, I confronted my fears head-on. As I said before, confidence is a skill we need to train, and embracing discomfort and facing my fears has been a cornerstone of my personal growth.

Advice: For those embarking on their own journey, I urge you to lean into discomfort and embrace fear as a catalyst for growth. Recognize that courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to act in spite of it. Start small, challenge yourself regularly, and celebrate each step forward, no matter how daunting it may seem.

2.- Setting Boundaries and Assertiveness: Prioritizing self-care has been essential for sustaining my well-being and effectively supporting both loved ones and clients. This involves putting my own needs first, setting clear boundaries, and assertively communicating my limits. By nurturing myself, I’ve cultivated the resilience and strength needed to show up fully in my relationships and professional endeavors.

Advice: To those beginning their journey, I emphasize the importance of self-care and boundary-setting. Remember that prioritizing your own needs isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for maintaining balance and vitality. Practice saying no when it aligns with your well-being, and communicate your boundaries with confidence and respect.

3.- Professional Expertise as a Psychologist and Coach: Drawing upon my background in psychology and coaching has empowered me to forge my own path as an entrepreneur. By leveraging my knowledge and experience, I’ve pioneered innovative approaches to online counseling, ultimately impacting the lives of over 400 individuals seeking fulfillment in their international journeys.

Advice: For aspiring professionals, I encourage you to embrace your unique skills and expertise. Whether you’re a psychologist, coach, or possess expertise in another field, recognize the value of your knowledge and the impact it can have. Trust in your abilities, remain adaptable to change, and never underestimate the transformative potential of your work.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
1.- Embrace mindfulness and being present: Amidst the chaos, I anchor myself in the present moment. Rather than getting lost in predictions or dwelling on the past, I focus on the here and now. It’s in the present where I find the power to enact change, improve myself, and cherish meaningful connections with loved ones. Advice: Cultivate mindfulness by engaging in activities that ground you, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or simply savoring a quiet moment. Redirect your energy towards the present, where you can actively address challenges and find solace in the beauty of the moment.

2.- Acknowledge and validate emotions: I’ve learned to make space for all my emotions, even the uncomfortable ones that society often encourages us to suppress. Each emotion carries valuable insights, signaling unmet needs or areas requiring attention. Ignoring or battling against these emotions only amplifies their intensity.

Advice: Rather than shunning unpleasant feelings, embrace them with compassion and curiosity. Take time to identify the underlying causes and consider how you can address them constructively. By honoring your emotions, you pave the way for greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.

3.- Prioritize self-Care and boundaries: Amidst the whirlwind of international living, carving out time for self-nurturing activities is non-negotiable. Whether it’s dedicating moments to rest, tending to emotional needs, or practicing acts of self-compassion, self-care serves as a vital anchor in turbulent times.

Advice: Make self-care a non-negotiable aspect of your routine. Block out time dedicated solely to yourself, whether it’s indulging in a favorite hobby, pampering yourself with a soothing bath, or simply enjoying a quiet moment of reflection. Prioritize your well-being to maintain balance and resilience amidst life’s demands.

4.- Create symbolic anchors of home: In the midst of upheaval and relocation, finding a sense of belonging can be a daunting task. I’ve discovered the power of creating symbolic anchors within my living space – small corners adorned with personal mementos, comforting scents, or cherished photographs. These tangible reminders of home offer solace and grounding in unfamiliar surroundings.

Advice: Wherever you find yourself, seek out or create spaces that evoke a sense of comfort and belonging. Surround yourself with items that hold personal significance, whether it’s a favorite scent, a cherished photograph, or a comforting piece of decor. These symbolic anchors can provide a sense of stability and connection, fostering a deeper sense of belonging amidst the transient nature of international living.

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