We recently connected with Gareth Williams and have shared our conversation below.
Gareth, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
When I first went to New York, it was with one goal in mind…. to study with Uta Hagen. I had literally stumbled into theatre in Florida, while in college. I then auditioned and was accepted into the Burt Reynolds Institute for Theatre Training. I could go into much greater detail but let’s just say Florida led me to believe I really didn’t have much to offer. Charles Nelson Reilly, a perennial presence at the institute and one of the very few who recognized any potential I might have possessed, encouraged me to go to NYC and study with Miss Hagen. I thought; I’ll study with her, learn a few things about acting, retreat back to Florida and do orange juice commercials and that was as far as my ambitions would allow. Contrary to what Florida encouraged me to believe about myself, Uta responded to me and my acting with palpable enthusiasm, to the point where she heralded me as ‘what we do here at HB Studios!’ Mike Nichols attended a play I was in with 17 other actors, initiated a scholarship at the studio and designated me as its inaugural recipient, saying quite glowing things about my work. I then got into Naked Angels Theatre Company, an upstart group of burgeoning actors, some with already full blown careers, including Marisa Tomei, Nancy Travis, Gina Gerson, Kenneth Lonergan, Jon Robin Baits, Rob Morrow, Lili Taylor, and the list goes on. I was championed into the company via Fisher Stevens, who was in my class with Uta Hagen, introducing me to the group as; ‘one of the best actors he knew!’ I was being messaged such lofty things by such lofty people, which was beyond flattering, but… two things; 1) it was in such stark contrast to the messaging I received in Florida that it was very difficult to process, and 2) it was also in stark contrast to what I was being told by the business. I couldn’t get an agent, I couldn’t get a manager, a job, and certainly a semblance of a career that came close to reflecting the accolades showered upon me by the likes of Miss Hagen, Mike Nichols, Fisher Stevens, Herbert Berghof, and Geraldine Page. There’s a lot of real estate between ‘He’s one of the best actors I know, and no work, no representation, no prospects of any kind. One day I turned to my great friend, who shall remain nameless here, also a Naked Angel, and I said; ‘You know me better than anyone on earth, you know me to be generous, perhaps to a fault, to be kind and gracious, to be insecure and hyper sensitive, but I am going out of my mind!!! I cannot reconcile the disparity between those two points. I’ve done a cursory survey of all the Naked Angels who work and I’ve noticed a common denominator; they all have a sense of self, a confidence, so much so that with nearly each and every one of them, they will enter a room with the countenance of someone who says, ‘hey everyone, the party can start now because I’ve arrived!’ I told my dear friend, I didn’t possess that gene, that chromosome, but if I am at all the actor these people seem to see in me, I can act that! I’d take it on as a role, a part I was cast in… I would enter any and all situations declaring that; pound for pound, I was the best actor in the country. It was a lie of course, I did not, in fact, feel of myself at all this way. At first, it felt odd, awkward, clumsy, and ham fisted. But… whether by coincidence or design, I got an agent, I got a manager, I started to work, and in what seemed like the blink of an eye, I had what was shaping up to be a career, known in the business by casting directors, show runners, directors, producers… It worked! The problem, the gigantic caveat, the fissure in the dyke; it was all a facade, and one that, over the course of many years, kept getting reinforced, giving zero reason or incentive to change it. I could tell, along the way, it rubbed a few people the wrong way, as it should have, but the greater point was, it was proving to be quite effective. Then one day, while going through a bit of a personal maelstrom, the entire house of cards came crashing down… completely! I found myself at 1:00 in the morning, at my local grocery store, standing in the middle of an aisle, weeping like a grandmother. I was paralyzed, stuck, imobile. I couldn’t decide what to buy because I didn’t know what I wanted, I didn’t know what I wanted because I no longer knew who I was. It took a long, long, LONG time to pull myself, and my career back up the cliff it fell off of, but I am so grateful… so very grateful it happened. My need, my overwhelming need to be successful back then has been displaced with an overwhelming need to create. Nothing more, simply create. I realize upon reflection that this was the calling to begin with but this business will play awful tricks with you and lead you to believe that unless you are recognized, on a red carpet, receiving awards, then you are less than. You are not. I am not. Success is immaterial, it is subjective, and often, even if obtained, fleeting. There is no such thing as an imposter following a true calling. What I discovered through this rather harrowing experience was yes, you do need to be confident, in yourself, in what you do, in what you think, otherwise you will be swallowed whole and spit out on Sunset Boulevard lifeless and deformed. But, be confident in who YOU are, not who THEY say you are or what THEY say you are not. I have been cobbling things back together ever since, but never at the expense of me not being me, myself, as I am in this world. I am enough, just as I am.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
First and foremost, I am an actor. Over the years, I’ve added hyphens to that, first directing, something of a common and natural progression. Mainly theatre, I directed quite a lot throughout my career. Next Writing was added which, to be honest, I turned to simply because it gave me a sense of control. Unlike acting, and often directing as well, where you need to be cast in something, or hired to direct in order to actively practice, you don’t need to wait for a phone call to do it. No one can stop you from writing. And more recently, producing, which was somewhat of a surprise to me, I never imagined myself as producer. In 2014, October to be specific, I started a scrub production company called Detroit Street Films, (probably not what you’re thinking… I’ve never been to Michigan, I happen to live on South Detroit Street in Los Angeles). Myself and a massively talented group of people have been crafting from scratch, micro budget, short, SHORT films. As such, producing has come with the package. I never fancied myself a leader of men, (people), but I have to say, I rather enjoy it. Not without its stumbles and bumbles, we’ve managed to be officially selected in several film festivals around the country, and garnered no small amount of awards. We’ve even been included in a few international festivals as well. We have a YouTube Channel; detroitstreetfilms – all one word, no spaces, all lower case and here is the link; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-qfPgI_3ogK5UpAyAJl5iQ Please subscribe, like, and comment, it would mean the world to us!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I believe the three things necessary to have a fulfilling and significant career in film, television, or theatre are; 1) Tenacity. I always subscribed to what I called ‘The Last Man Standing’ tenet. At the end of the day, I WILL still be in the room, I WILL still be standing, and you WILL have to deal with me, so you might as well deal with me now, cuz I ain’t goin’ nowhere! 2) The desire to study. When I first arrived in New York and began classes at HB Studios, I first studied with Herbert Berghof, whose name is where the ‘HB’ was derived. While some students were setting up their scene, Herbert turned to me and asked, in his thick Viennese accented English; ‘Gareth, do you have an agent?’ Which I responded with; ‘Oh, no, Mr. Berghof, I just came to New York to study!’ And without missing a beat, he said; ‘Well, I hope I’m ‘studying’ five minutes before they put me in my grave!’ And 3) Resilience. If you cannot accept rejection, and often on a regular basis, you’re in the wrong line of work. I sometimes envy those who knew their career path early on, received their degree in ornamental horticulture or nuclear physics, went on to work for a company or firm, advanced over the years and for the most part, knew what each and every week of their lives would look like. That is NOT the case in the entertainment business. It is mercurial, it is unpredictable, it is a fickle mistress, but it is the only life I would ever want. Herbert Berghof once said; Art is like pregnancy! It’s never comfortable… but the results are glorious! So be persistent and resolute, study your craft, and be resilient to judgements and rejections, and never, ever give the bastards the satisfaction of you giving up!
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
It’s impossible to single one person out… so I won’t. There has been a long chain of people who have helped me grow as an actor, as an artist, and as a man. Beginning with Frank Leahy, the director of the theatre program in the college I attended in South Florida, were it not for him, NONE of the events of my life would have unfolded the way they did. I am eternally grateful. Then, Burt Reynolds, instrumental in forging the direction of my career, it would be impossible to even begin to address the gifts that man gave me. Charles Nelson Reilly, who, if you put a gun to my head and said you must choose only one of these people, it would be he. Charles was the one who nearly demanded that I make the trek to NYC and study with Uta Hagen. Next, Uta Hagen… she singularly shaped and honed my skills and craft of acting more than anyone, taking me under her wing in ways that I could only dream of doing for others. Fisher Stevens, who did more for me than any ten people put together, skewed more in the direction of career than learning or studying craft, he ushered me into Naked Angels and really, that’s where any semblance of career began to take root. And then, Larry Moss, a towering figure in so many actors’ lives, and I count myself blessed to be among them.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.facebook.com/detroitstreetfilms
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/garethwiliams
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-qfPgI_3ogK5UpAyAJl5iQ
Image Credits
Helen Thomas
