Meet Grace Lauren

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Grace Lauren a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Grace, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I think I got confidence from being a drummer first, because I’ve always been the only girl in the bands I played with so I felt like I had to prove myself a little. Then when I got my first Harley-Davidson everyone told me to get a dirt bike first or a sportster so I got a Softail Deuce instead and literally figured it out. I think confidence can come from living your life how you want to live it. How could you not be insecure if you live for other people’s acceptance? Surround yourself with people who accept the person you are rather than be the person they want you to be.

Tattoos boosted my confidence too, When I told people I was going to get a Japanese Hannya mask on my throat a lot of people told me I would regret it and that I would scare kids and never be able to get a boyfriend. Some people think I look cool with my tattoos and some people think I look crazy. I love all of them but it doesn’t mean everyone else has to.
I don’t gain confidence from other people’s validation. I know people who base their value on how many people find them attractive. I’m stubborn, I think I’ve given two guys my number who asked for it. If I don’t feel a genuine connection to someone or in a relationship standpoint see a potential future with you, I don’t care to waste my time because the sole source of my happiness is based on someone calling me pretty. I think thats why a lot of relationships don’t work out because they don’t truly have shared interests and enjoy the company of one another they’re just scared to be alone.

Not to be morbid but one day we’re all going to be a pile of bones six feet in the ground. Worrying about your looks or comparing yourself to other people doesn’t matter.
if somebody doesn’t love you for who you are someone else will love the parts of you that the other person didn’t.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I think its been about 2 years since my last interview with you guys… I’m still a drummer, I used to work as a hire on and play for bands and do studio sessions but now I just teach. Its hard to put everything into one basket because I feel like I do a lot of different things- I have a book coming out next year which has been a work in progress for almost three years now. Its focused on the off-grid island life. As I get older I realize more and more how uncommon it was to grow up on an island with 70 people, live in a log cabin without electricity or running water and to be able to drive a truck to school at 9 years old. To go from that peaceful lifestyle to then spending my teens and early twenties in rock bands and playing in California and Nashville and touring was an incredible experience. The music scene is both incredibly rewarding and inspiring and it can also be incredibly soul sucking and downright dangerous as a young girl. I was lucky to have walked out of every show on cloud 9. I have countless stories of shows. My favorite was a few years back when a kid with Down Syndrome stood side stage and air-drummed the whole show. He was pretty spot on too and after was telling me what time signature the songs were in. That was one of those moments where you think to yourself ‘hell yeah this is a rewarding job’.
I did however have a show that taught me quickly no matter how long you’ve trusted someone they can break it. It started a great night, the show went really well and then my bandmate who was clean for a long time relapsed on Heroin and I had no idea until he got violent and it all got really bad really quickly. Nobody could have stopped what happened to me that night. I never tell people about it, I think three people know the whole story but the past is the past and I’d rather move on than let it turn me into a hurt person who hurts other people. But after that music wasn’t the same for me. I left for Nashville on a tour for a different band a week later with group of great musicians but my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. I had a great time with everyone but when it came to music it somehow lost that magic for me and when i was on the plane home i knew that was definitely my last show for a long time. Last year I started teaching again and stopped playing shows. I moved back to my moms flower farm in Washington to go back to that peaceful lifestyle in the country. I got a Harley when I was 18 so I was looking forward to going on chill rides on the backroads in Washington. That lasted about two weeks before I moved back to California and got a 2021 Lowrider S and literally spend every moment I could on that bike. I rode 160 miles every single day. I would ride and watch the sunrise till sunset and it was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. I learned so much about forgiveness and just letting go. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t see myself playing music as a career anymore. It would be fun to play shows here and there but the life I want now is one I could never have being a full time musician and honestly I’m really happy about it. I’ve lived a pretty cool life so far and the idea of living a simple life and having a family sounds so comforting to me. Touring is amazing yet it can be incredibly lonely. You’re in a different city every night and miles away from your loved ones. Your either in a hotel or crashing on the floor of a van with a bunch of other people. I like my own bed now. I’m super introverted, I could live in the country and go on motorcycle trips and be so content.
Outside of the book coming out soon I teach and do school photography. I love my jobs. This interview is definitely different from the last one but life is full of changes.
To live is to lose, to gain, and sometimes question your path in life.
Strangers become friends and friends become strangers again.
Time stops for no one, To heal is to continue living, and lastly,
We are all prisoners to our own pain and if we never find ways to heal from it we will be stuck in the cell of ourselves forever.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

When I look back, I don’t see a life without hurt. I see the heartbreaks, the losses, the lessons that came harder than I ever wanted them to. The world gave me plenty of reasons to grow bitter and push everyone away. But that never felt like the right way. Through the roughness in life I have gained compassion not hostility. You can hold onto your kindness and compassion and it will carry you further than anger ever could. I’ve also learned to be careful with my trust. You don’t have to be the bubbliest person in the room to belong. If you don’t know what to say, it’s okay to be quiet. To live a life with no regrets is to live the life you want, for yourself not for others. You may lose people on that journey but you will find the right ones along the way.
If you are trusted and loved by one deeply, you already won in life. Love them deeper.

I know that wasn’t three qualities but its the knowledge of life that I have at the moment

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

Raising me off grid on an island in Washington for sure. It was the most old fashioned way to live. We moved off the island when I was 10 but I didn’t get a phone till I was fifteen. At night on the island I would read by the fire. I had zero clue what social media was and the only form of tv we had was old vhs tapes of the andy griffith show and old school movies.
My parents raised me to respect people and learn skills to be self sufficient. My mom taught me to cook and sew and build fires and my dad whos not around anymore taught me music which paid of later. My parents are so cool though, my mom was an international model and when she met my dad he was a drummer and used to have a motorcycle. My mom is super cool, she went from being a model to owning her own businesses and driving a lifted diesel f350. she’s badass. My dad did stone masonry and construction but he knew how to do everything. I was a flashlight kid (if you know, you know) and we’d hangout in his truck listening to tool and dream theater. His all time favorite band was Pantera and hed spend hours teaching me songs on the drums and guitar. He was a tough love kinda guy and he was made a big impact on the way I see people in a good way.
This generation is so wild to me. Im very grateful they raised me in a very traditional sense. I think social media is so damaging and desensitizing to young kids. whenever I have a kid I’m definitely having it play outside and climb trees like I did than sit and watch tiktok all day.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: _Gracelauren65
• Youtube: https://youtu.be/ns5bP7UypD4?si=M5yclhXK4DSKs9Kp