We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Grace Redman a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Grace, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
Such a great question! Growing up, the world around me was so focused on what people thought of us. We were taught to live our lives in a way that wouldn’t allow people to talk about us. Looking back, that was such a stressful way to live. What made things even more stressful was when you did hear negative comments about yourself from haters and nay-sayers, you internalized them as true—at least I did. As a young girl and young adult, that caused me an incredible amount of pain.
Thankfully, with the help of therapy and coaching, I was able to recognize that other people’s negative opinions or comments had much less to do with me and much more to do with their own insecurities, their belief system, and the perspective of their reality, not mine.
One of the most powerful concepts I learned from one of my NLP professors was that the most empowered person in the room is the person who takes nothing personally.
My goodness, I wish I had learned that truth much earlier in life, as it would have saved me a lot of heartache; however, you don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.
As a recovering people-pleaser, I have also learned that you can’t please everyone, and people are going to talk no matter what. Not everyone is going to like us or be on our team, and that is OK! I have also learned to ignore the haters and not give them any attention. I rather invest my attention in areas that are going to benefit me and grow me instead of sabotage me. I do believe giving our power away to the haters is a distraction that keeps us from moving towards our greatest potential. Hey if you have haters you must be doing something right. LOL
When we do the “work” and really focus on healing our inner child and cultivating our self-worth, the haters and naysayers really don’t matter. Frankly, I rarely run into my haters because “they” are not my focus. I choose to put my focus on the people who love, support, encourage me, and provide constructive feedback. When I do get triggered by haters, I have learned to look within myself because I know there is another layer of healing I need to do. As long as we are living and breathing, our journey of growth and expansion continues to evolve.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
First and foremost, I am a mother, wife, sister, and friend. I am also an entrepreneur, success coach, and motivational speaker. I really love guiding individuals to break through their own self-imposed glass ceiling to elevate their success and manifest a life they love. By combining practical and holistic principles with self-hypnosis, I guide my clients to uncover the sneaky stories holding them back and unapologetically embrace and OWN their talents. I am also the best-selling author of “Can I Live?! Dare to Go From F*cked Up to Fabulous” and the podcast host of “Real Talk with Grace Redman.”
For over 25 years, I have owned and managed one of the top staffing firms in the San Francisco Bay Area. We were excited to be awarded one of the top 5 Women-Owned Businesses in the San Mateo area in 2024. The last 25 years were not easy because I was also raising a family AND had to navigate life at the same time, but as I look back now, it was all worth it! I sure wish I knew then what I know now. LOL. Something my team and I celebrate is that, with persistence and grit, we thrived through five economic downturns and a pandemic when other firms closed their doors. It has also been such a gift to have staffed and consulted with some of the top firms in Silicon Valley, like Gilead Sciences, Guttman Initiatives, Klein Financial, Stanford University, QuinStreet, Sierra Ventures, Latham & Watkins, Nueva School, Carnegie Foundation, Delphi Ventures, SAMCAR, and so many more. Although it wasn’t an easy 25 years, it has also been very fun, rewarding, and fulfilling serving the community that I love.
Since so much of my role in staffing was coaching and mentoring, in 2016, I was inspired to start a coaching side of the business, Dare to Achieve. Although I had experienced what I thought was growth and success up to that point, it was when I started the coaching side of the business and decided to get coach certified that I had my own major life transformation. Having that major life transformation is what really got me fired up about teaching, speaking, and coaching. The freedom I experienced on the other side was incredible, and I wanted everyone to experience that emotional and mental freedom! Over the last nine years, I am so grateful to have coached and mentored so many amazing people. I have coached and mentored entrepreneurs, attorneys, C-suite executives, banking/finance professionals, sales professionals, award-winning authors, award-winning musicians, and award-winning actresses. I am constantly inspired by the resilience of the human spirit and what is possible.
Frankly, yes, I have degrees and certifications, but nothing has taught me more than life’s adversities, experiences, and diving deep into my messy. I have experienced my own personal and professional dark nights of the soul, and it is through moving through those adversities and tapping into my awareness and intuition that I believe I gained the most wisdom. I truly believe that when we are honest with ourselves and own our messy, we are able to begin to heal, grow, and create the success we desire. As a result, we inspire others to do the same. When we take ownership of our lives and make a conscious effort to be the best we can, we contribute to creating a better world. We are the small pebble in the pond. Our decisions and actions ripple out into the world and impact those around us.
I love what I do and feel so blessed! I am a lifelong learner and constantly working on my own growth and expansion. I am very excited for what’s ahead. The universe is really amazing and what unfolds has been even better than what I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for my family, incredible community, and my own coaches and mentors. It really does take a village. Hey, even the nay-sayers helped me get to this incredible place! So I thank them too! I have learned through my own experience that we can create an incredible life despite our circumstances. I really want to reach as many people as possible because, as we grow, succeed, and inspire, we create a better world.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Hmmm, the three qualities that I found most impactful on my journey are:
Self-love
Resilience
Faith
The reality is that life isn’t easy. Growing a business isn’t easy. Raising a family isn’t easy. We are going to experience trauma, adversity, and sometimes really tragic situations. I have learned that despite our circumstances, we can succeed and thrive. Cultivating resilience is very important on this journey we call life. We must learn to put situations in perspective and recognize that what happens to us doesn’t define us. Most of our experiences are happening for us, and there are opportunities for growth even in the most tragic circumstances. Now, that doesn’t mean we should sweep our emotions under the rug. We must take time to feel our pain and acknowledge our disappointment or grief. Based on my experience, my painful experiences that helped me cultivate resilience also motivated me to rise and succeed. I have also learned to rest instead of quit. There are going to be days when you really feel down and discouraged, and you are going to want to quit. I recommend resting instead of quitting. Most people work so hard, and right before they are going to have a breakthrough, they quit. They never realize they were so close to experiencing the MAGIC!
I have learned that self-love is key to our overall success. Knowing with unwavering faith that we are worthy no matter what helps us have self-compassion, and that self-compassion creates a deep love for ourselves! When we cultivate unwavering faith in our self-worth, we also naturally cultivate our resilience. Self-love can be expressed in so many ways. In my perspective, self-love is becoming aware of our sabotaging habits, patterns, and limiting beliefs. Taking accountability for our actions and being committed to creating healthier habits and making better decisions help us build our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical fitness. When we have self-love, we are less likely to abuse our bodies, allow others to take advantage of us, and make decisions that hurt us. As I mentioned earlier, we don’t know what we don’t know; however, once we gain awareness, it’s important to make a conscious effort to begin making changes that will improve our lives. It isn’t easy, but it can be done. I PROMISE.
Faith in yourself and believing all will work out no matter what will always be my final answer. As I look back on my journey, even during the most challenging times, things ended up working out. Now, I am not going to pretend it was always sunshine and roses. Absolutely not—there were some REALLY trying times. In those times, I learned to surrender, trust, allow, and accept. It took faith to practice those principles. We want to control outcomes because it feels so much safer to us. We want to know the why and how, and often, we just don’t have the answer. That’s when we must have faith to know that no matter what, the universe has our back. Not only must we have faith that the universe has our back, but we also must believe in ourselves and have faith that we have all we need within us to overcome whatever life throws our way.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
Such a great question! To be transparent, even with all the healing work I have done and the growth I have experienced, I recognize that I unconsciously fall back into some old patterns that don’t serve me. I am a recovering workaholic. I was taught that hustle and grind were the keys to success, and I hustled and grinded for over two decades. Through my healing journey, I realized that my self-worth was tied to my hustle and grind. If I wasn’t hustling and grinding, I wasn’t good enough, and as a result, my businesses wouldn’t succeed. Recently, I realized that I had reverted to the hustle-and-grind mentality in my business, and as a result, I was feeling burned out. There wasn’t an equanimity between my effort and what I was attracting. One morning, in the shower, I had an aha moment and realized I had fallen back into the hustle-and-grind pattern. Once I became aware of it, I made a conscious decision to step back, surrender, trust, allow, and release my attachment to the outcome. My old survival patterns had kicked in without me even realizing it, putting me in a state of fight or flight instead of faith and flow.
To help myself move back into a place of faith and flow, I reflected on the times when I practiced surrender in my business. I recalled the moments when I was relaxed and having fun in my business. Of course, I was taking action, but it was from a place of inspiration rather than fear. I also journaled my fears, meditated, was mindful of my self talk, and got out into nature. All of those tools really helped me move back into the faith and flow. In all fairness, we are currently experiencing a challenging economic and world crisis, and I unconsciously allowed the negativity to affect me.
There are always going to be external factors that can impact us. Yes, it is crucial to be aware of what’s happening in the world around us. If we aren’t careful, we can fall into a rabbit hole of negativity and destruction, which in turn depletes us and puts us in a coping stance. When we are in a coping stance of self-preservation and survival, we can’t take care of ourselves or be of service to those around us.
This brings us back to why self-love, resilience, and faith are essential qualities to cultivate. We are here to serve. When we aren’t in our optimal emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual fitness it becomes challenging to serve humanity effectively.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.daretoachieve.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gracesredman/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grace.s.redman
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/grace-redman-701a30/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@gracredman3
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/grace-redman-dare-to-achieve-san-mateo
- Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/co/podcast/real-talk-with-grace-redman/id1559065658
https://www.yelp.com/biz/stansbury-staffing-san-mateo
Image Credits
In her image photography
Hannah Lorsch photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
