Meet Graham Hulbert

We recently connected with Graham Hulbert and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Graham, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

Is the plural of purpose “purpi”, or “porpoise”? I joke but I do think I have multiple paths of purpose, and I am in the midst of building a life that will allow me to indulge in those pathways.

I will share what these are, but I think first I should answer the question right? The answer is actually related to another topic you write about often at Bold Journey, confidence and self-esteem. In order to find my purpose, I needed to build understanding and confidence in who I am. For me this began during the pandemic in 2020.

I had spent the 10 years before building a career in problem solving and program management in the corporate world, I was good at what I did and my career was going well. However every day on my drive home the same question rang in my head like a bell.. “how am I going to do this for the rest of my life?”. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy my work, it was that it was wearing me down to the bone. I was exhausted every week, I hadn’t recovered by Monday and I had to go through it all again. I just didn’t understand how everyone else could make this work.. AND support a family, hobbies, friendships, relationships, volunteering, etc.. all the things I wanted to enjoy.

I entered the pandemic in 2020, unemployed and experiencing what I now have the language to describe as a mental health crisis. My life is one full of support and opportunity and I wont shy away from labeling that. In this circumstance a privilege I had was that of my close friends banding together and ‘calling me in’ to share that they were worried about me, and that I didn’t seem to see myself in the way they saw me. It was true, I had patience, support and kindness for everyone in my life except myself. I viewed myself as broken, lazy, and ungrateful. It was time to start giving myself the same grace as everyone else in my life, so I got myself a therapist and started to learn who I really was and discover my purpose (porpoise?).

As I worked to better understand myself thought therapy two things became very clear. The life I had been living didn’t align with my purpose, and that the way I experienced the world was quite different from many folks. I was neurodivergent, meaning that my nervous system worked differently from 97% of the population. This was the key that unlocked a confidence in myself, and allowed me to build a life aligned with my purpose. Suddenly all my joys, passions, coping mechanisms, social desires, challenges and struggles could be understood through a new playbook that was different to every typical piece of advice available.

The key term that helped me find my purpose was that I have an “interest based nervous system”. Many folks brains work in a goal driven way, allowing folks to build upon many actions to achieve their goal. With an interest based nervous system, if the action isn’t tied to the interest, then even the smallest action can feel insurmountable. This means my purpose must align with my interests and for actions that aren’t tied to an interest, I have to find coping mechanisms to achieve them. These can range from the absurd, “I will only fold laundry if I am also listening to a podcast on neurodiversity”, to the mundane “my daily routine always begins with reviewing client invoices for accuracy and due dates”. One thing that isn’t present with my coping mechanisms these days is shame, or judgment. I know how to get stuff done and I don’t need to compare it to anyone else, it’s my playbook not theirs.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

Ah yes, my purpi! Who am I and what do I do? I’m excited about what I’m doing and also patient with the time it will take to achieve. I’m looking to build three businesses all centered on teaching and engaging in my areas of passion and interest.

My professional background in problem solving and managing large scale transformations has given me this skill set to help organizations in many ways, I founded Tula Consulting two years ago to lean into this. The mission of the company aligns with my passion to help organizations build more neuroinclusive work environments. We do this with training and workshops and also leadership support executing strategic transformations and large-scale projects. No matter what the work, its exciting to come in and advocate for neurodivergent needs and showcase the strengths of neurodivergent thinking by doing an awesome job.

Tula is the first of three businesses in the works, the second will be focused on my engineering degree and my creative passion for making and fabricating. I envision a mix between a ‘repair shop’ where folks can bring in old broken furniture and devices and we can repair them together, and a fabrication center where we teach folks how to build their own furniture. They’ll learn basic design principles, woodworking and fabrication skills. At the end they’ll walk away with a piece of furniture they created, and the skillset to tackle their next project.

The third and final company will be centered around outdoor education and guiding. Taking folks on guided camping trips, teaching them how to camp safely and teaching them about the incredible and varied ecologies that exist within the beautiful pacific northwest where I live.

Patience is a key part of this plan, the goal is to slowly transition my energy and focus so that by ‘retirement’ age I’m spending more time in the outdoors and workshop and less time in the corporate consulting world. The ironic piece of this is that it will take more energy than my draining corporate nine to five. The key difference? This plan leans into my interest based nervous system, filing me with a sense of purpose instead of draining my soul.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I think I have to reference the three core values of Tula Consulting here, there is a reason I chose them, they mean a lot to me and I think they have always served me well.

Curiosity: to approach life with a curious mind and an openness to learn. There is no one on this earth that doesn’t have something to teach me. When I feel most challenged, I often ask myself “now that this is so, what does it make possible?”.

Sincerity: I think sincerity is what helps me stay true to my purpose. If I can show up with true sincerity in everything I do then I can stay aligned with my values, this is key in how I maintain my wellbeing and mental health.

Insecurity: I love this one because no one sees it coming. Its ok to be unsure, its good to question myself, and its ok to ask for help. There is too much rhetoric out there pitting insecurity against confidence but I believe they do best when they exist together.

Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?

I would be amiss if I didn’t share appreciation for my amazing and supportive friend group. They compassionately called to my attention that there were alternative ways to view how I show up in the world. I also personally believe that there is no one better equipped to help you overcome challenges or build qualities of success than a good therapist, so I have to send my thanks to my therapist also.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://tulaneurodiversity.org/
• Instagram: @theneurodeviant (rarely used account)
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/graham-hulbert-tula/

Image Credits

https://www.suziegotis.com/