We were lucky to catch up with Haley Young recently and have shared our conversation below.
Haley, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Putting myself out there—especially when scared—and remembering that the world is full of successful people who once doubted themselves. (Many still DO doubt themselves.)
Early in my commitment to write a book—a lifelong dream that’s always felt out of reach—my partner took me to Barnes & Noble. As we meandered through the shelves, he occasionally flipped through a title and said “you could write at least as well as this.” I think I experienced a small epiphany in that self-help aisle. It wasn’t about comparing myself directly to anyone else (or, forbid, zooming past the midpoint to overconfidence bias and asserting I’m “better” than these other authors). It was simply about realizing how many other people have accomplished the thing I so want to do myself. If they could do it, couldn’t I? Especially when I want it this much? I began to see authors not as competition but as comfort.
That bookstore realization inspired me to take more risks. Cliche, but true: Often the worst that can happen is someone says no. I began showing my writing to more people. As they gave me feedback, I gathered important information about what I’m already doing well and what I can improve—and this closer-to-accurate perception of my skills has allowed me to hold a yearning to be better alongside the recognition that I’m already doing well.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m a full-time writer, primarily focusing on animals (especially domestic dogs). My own blog, Paws and Reflect, began as a dog training journal—as it grew, I gained confidence, ultimately leaving my 9-5 marketing agency job to choose my own clients as a freelance copywriter. After nearly three years with regular marketing gigs, I started exploring the editorial world—and returning to my original love of pure, nonfiction storytelling—by pitching to various publications. I’ve since become editor of Juniper Magazine (a burgeoning pet enrichment community) and have had work published by Kinship (one of the largest online pet magazines), ROVA (a print adventure magazine), and more. I still post to Paws and Reflect almost every day.
My ultimate goal is to publish a traditional book. I’m in the process of revising a memoir manuscript focusing on my emotional journey with my sensitive rescue dog, Scout—growing with her from hyper-stressed apartment dwellers to adventurous full-time van lifers is one of my greatest prides. I hope to begin querying literary agents this spring.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
In no particular order: A hunger to learn (and a willingness to direct that learning myself). A healthy separation of my worth as a human being from my success in a specific pursuit. And empathy!
Learning: Freelancing requires one to wear many hats. Sometimes a veritable Tower of Pisa of hats. I’ve been able to impress my clients (and myself!) by dabbling in various skills—and figuring out how to acquire the knowledge I need on my own. The internet (though sometimes a source of so much vitriol) can also be a lovely place for free and low-cost education: The WordPress Codex, Treehouse Web Development Courses, and countless other forums.
Self worth: As Amanda Montell writes in The Age of Magical Overthinking, “only in the 1980s, with rises in entrepreneurship and the dawn of career counseling, did professional success and ‘life purpose’ become indivisible.” Since going out on my own, I’ve caught myself conflating the two many times. (After all, I pursued my passion project! I get to write about animals! Of course my career is my definition, right?!) No. Not right. Continuing to identify as many wonderful things—most not related to making money at all, like “good friend” and “self-proclaimed nerd” and “reader”—has been paramount for my mental health. When I start to feel down about my professional success, I sometimes make a handwritten list of all the other things I am besides a freelance writer.
Empathy: This is important both in the sense of people skills (finding, negotiating, and continuing to work with clients is easiest when everyone is prosocial) and also in terms of actually improving my output. The best writing is grounded in honest human experience—taking someone else’s perspective enables me to tell stronger stories and make sharper points. Of all things, I think reading has honed my empathy the most. Sitting down with a book is one of the easiest ways to explore various viewpoints and situations. (Stephen King calls writing “telepathy” because by putting words on a page, he can transfer a thought from his head right into the reader’s. That’s power.)
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
Clear direction. Paws and Reflect started on social media… but I’ve been trying to limit my time online (or at minimum think much more critically about it). Paws and Reflect was inspired by dogs… but I’ve been increasingly inspired to reflect on more topics. Paws and Reflect has been self-published… but I want to branch beyond my existing (sometimes insular) community.
In short: I’ve spent the last year wondering what, exactly, I’m supposed to be doing—and more importantly, what I WANT to be doing.
I’m trying to overcome this by taking regular space from Instagram, continuing to pitch freelance pieces to editors at different publications, and journaling without expectation of sharing the thoughts publicly. I hope giving myself time—and emotional freedom—to explore new creative pursuits will help me zone in on what fulfillment looks like moving forward.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://pawsandreflect.blog
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paws.andreflect/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/haleyeyoung/
- Other: https://haleyeyoung.com
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
