We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Hannah Kwon. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Hannah below.
Hannah, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?
I remember once hearing that there’s a difference between optimism and hope. Optimism being a little more likened to maybe personality or temperament, perhaps erring more on “you’re just kind of that way” type of deal. But hope- hope was defined more by the intentionality, the active fight to have hope in the midst of things that one can’t control, like life happenings. That’s a long winded way of me saying, I’d like to say I have a deep cultivated hope that’s really important to me and if I’m being really honest, has saved me and is necessary for me to cope with and get through life.
Growing up, I was tagged “bubbly” and “helpful” based on my family roles in an immigrant house and as the middle child ‘peacemaker’ (if you remember that language from years back). I really thought my only value was to be a breath of “bubbly happy helpfulness” to others and that left me internally severed from myself/my gut/my inner me. When Simple Plan’s “Welcome to My Life” song came out, I held that as my life’s anthem which looking back is quite intense, but I do think this helped me connect to faith and the spirits of others even if I didn’t fully have the language yet to talk about my own depression and loneliness. I always joke that movies and novels saved my life, but it really did. Seeing that there were others that had their own versions of what I was feeling helped me at least get unstuck from the loneliness. So I clung to the hope that there were other people, other spirits that did feel as intensely as I did and that I could be a whole version of who I am- not just the “bubbly happy helper”.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Branding is such an interesting thing and automatically brings up so many thoughts. But to try to keep it as succinct as possible, my heart wants to embrace my humanness in all of its complexity and layers and bring about spaces where others can do the same. Professionally speaking, I’ve gotten to do this in ever growing and evolving ways int he contexts of:
-therapeutic spaces as an LMFT for about 8 years now
-a podcast (because why not) called “You Don’t Have to Earn This” and the purpose behind this was to package the practical tips and psychoeducation that I’ve found really helps individuals, especially outside of the white western demographic, heal and grow in ways that align with them versus having to feel that they need to forsake their cultural roots/identity/relationships for the sake of “western ideas of success and healthiness”.
-actress to collaborate and share stories and nuanced realities that people can hopefully see a version of what they’re going through to help them feel some connection and/or just as an outlet to laugh or cry
-*still working through* wondering about creating courses on mental health for those that might not see therapy as a fit, BUT still would benefit from focused info and practice …. but this one has been a brain baby that hasn’t yet gotten its legs
-silly but fun videos on socials to help others see the various layers and facets to each individual (and this connects to how socials impact acting opportunities and such as well)
Wow. I feel a little shy having listed some of those things out, but hey. As a therapist and as a human, I always say: my goal is to help us have more options for things because it’s when we feel stuck and alone and a deepening of that when things get bad weird and dangerous. SO my hope is these things help others find more options!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
What an awesome question- my first thought is wanting to remind myself that these qualities and skills are never stagnant and are in and of themselves wanting to and needing to grow and evolve.
1. Humility/Teachability: Couldn’t separate these two because I really think they’re linked. Humility has helped me pull away from the pressures of perfectionism and capitalism as it reminds me that life and my humanity is sooo nonlinear because life and how it happens has so many things outside of my control. So humility helps me remember the goal ISN’T to be perfect by anyone’s standards, but to be able to go through life’s life-ness by learning and allowing myself to be both uncomfortable AND comfortable alike.
2. Curiosity: Allowing myself to be curious and to practice shifting my negative judgmental critic voice into a posture of curiosity has been a game changer as it’s reminded me that I can be both disappointed AND proud of myself at the same time. I can grieve AND feel pockets of joy at the same time. And it’s gotten me to be able to be on my own side/corner, curious about why I’m hurting or reacting even in regretful ways at times but it helps me not be my worst enemy. And I’ve found the more I practice this, it lends itself to self-compassion and ultimately compassion towards others and being able to extend that curiosity (instead of judgment) to them.
3. Intentionality/Kindness: The idea of choosing and owning my responses and even my reactions has gotten me to be able to align with kindness in a more meaningful way. It also helps me both validate the things outside of my control and some traumatic things (that really do suck, don’t get me wrong) but to hold that tenderly while also being able to say that I deserve rest and growth and love too. Intentionality is also my petname for a reclaimed version of what used to be “hard work towards perfectionism”
My encouragement to others is to be consider what these things look like for you and you can hear me share my version of relationship towards each practice, but pleaseee consider your version- THAT is what matters and will empower you to take ownership of your own story.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
The thing I’m challenged by the most currently are the things that I cannot control- like timing, project opportunities, friendship/collaboration opportunities, busyness and triaging life happenings, health, changes, and all the things in between. I know it sounds so basic and on a rational level, it makes sense to not put as much focus or stress on what we cannot control, but the messaging is different in this industry and as I age. I’ve found that as our society/nation dictates our value based on productivity, net value, and just the result of things, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed and pressured to do something remarkable about the things we cannot control. But then we don’t notice or hype each other up on the actual things in our control like HOW we navigate our journey, who we are as we figure out our values and characteristics to ground us, the people we choose to invest and trust, and all of these things that are actually the big pieces that make up our lives and stories.
So my response is to commit to my journey and the processes I commit to in all of the unlearning, learning, regretting, and reclaiming. I’m continually trying to find outlets (physically, mentally, emotionally) to remind myself that feeling frustrated by what I cannot control is human and actually quite healthy so long as I don’t internalize it into this weird form of pressured perfectionism. And to shift from judgment/critical posture into a curious posture where I get to be a constant learner and real life human. Again, it sounds quite basic, but I’ve found that doing this actively in practical and internal ways has helped me remember my goal isn’t perfect (perfect net value, perfect roles, perfect auditions, perfect relationships), but instead it’s me doing my absolute best which includes rest and embracing my humanity. And if that means I have to say no to the “what if that was the opportunity that…” projects, I let myself grieve it but also understand that I’m not meant to know everything so expecting myself to plan towards perfect/everything is a losing battle that only I reap the biggest losses of.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahogkwon
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@hannahogkwon
Image Credits
Lejuan Truly (black and white photo)
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