We recently connected with Haylee Graham and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Haylee, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
I’ve come to discover that ‘purpose’ is more intrinsic then we even realize. We are already born with purpose. For me, my purpose is more rooted in who I am rather than what I do, and that’s taken me many years to unpack and fully understand. I am someone who had always wrapped their identity in performance and achievement, even since childhood. That started with competative horse back riding: you ride well enough, you get a ribbon. Thus, your trainer doesnt yell at you and your divorced parents seem to get along a little better on that middle ground of truce. Then, of course, society told me that in order to have any sort of success, I needed to ‘find’ my purpose, learn to get good at it, and then maybe I’d have a chance at not dubbing myself ‘just another starving artist’ floating around the cafe corners of L.A. I needed to do, do, do, and if you’re not careful, you can quickly find your self-worth hinged on the outcomes of your ambitions; the success of your ‘purpose.’ I’ve had to deconstruct from that notion altogether and realign myself with the purpose of which I was born: a child of God. There’s a few other roles I play too such as wife, step-mom, friend, sister, and daughter. Those are my real purposes. My writing is just a passion and a God-given gifting. As an artist or creative, once realign yourself with your REAL purpose and detach from the outcomes of your passion, you can actually start working, or in my case, writing, for the mere joy of it.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Hi there, my name is Haylee Graham, and I have written professionally for over a decade, accumulating literary awards and nominations at the International Christian Film Festival, 2019 Indie X Film Fest, 2019 CARE Awards, and 168 Film Festival. I have written four Young Adult Fiction novels, all of which donated a percentage of proceeds to charity. I’m published in Chicken Soup for the Soul and GoodNews Northwest Newspaper, and have been featured on The Los Angeles Tribune, KTLA 5, Voyage LA (Most Inspiring Stories in Los Angeles), Creativ Mag, Canvas Rebel, and the Warriors Rising Podcast. In addition, a short film I wrote titled “Out of the Quiet” received over 28 awards and nominations at major film festivals across the country, and my latest short film, “Planted” won the entirety of the acclaimed Christian film competition, The 168 Film Festival with awards such as “Best Screenplay,” “Best Speed Film,” “Best of the 168 Festival” and more. My team and I received a formal invitation from Angel Studios (The Chosen, Sound of Freedom) to showcase “Planted” with the prospect of securing funding for its development into a feature film.
Right now, I have a memoir that we are aiming to publish, a series of novellas in the works, as well as two more film projects, one in honor of my late father, Gary Graham, who was a film and television actor for 55+ years.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1) Find the synchronicity between working and enjoying life Life is meant to be lived. We are called ‘human beings’, not ‘human doings’ and finding a balance is critical. You’re not just a body, nor are you just a pair of hands to do the work. You’re also a soul that needs to be fed, a mind that needs to be shaped, and a heart that, oftentimes, needs to be treated.
2) Detach from and surrender the outcomes
Surrendering outcomes may feel like your abdicating responsibility, but you’re not. Biblically speaking, ‘waiting on God’ isn’t an excuse to be lazy and just sit back and twiddle your thumbs. You still need to be proactive and efficient, and a vessel that can be used. While you’re in charge of doing the work, God is in charge of the outcome, so no need to keep worrying about it. To me, that is such a relief!
3) Never stop learning and self developing
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room,” was a quote that challenged my growth and pushed me to constantly feed and educate myself, and surround myself with people I could learn from. That was instrumental when it came to honing in on the craft!
4) Wake up early if you keep running out of time. I know you said to list only four, but this is a big one!
Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
Introduce me to horses. From an early age, in horseback riding at least, you’re taught that while failure will happen, quitting never can. Horses have minds of their own; that’s going to cause some scares, kicks, bites, and falls. You signed up for it, kiddo, so prepare to get hurt because in this sport, you’re not only training an animal’s mind but working cohesively with it, too. We may accept our failures and we may condition ourselves for the falls, but we never entertain the idea of quitting, even when we inhale the dust of defeat, lay in the aftermath, and wonder how the heck we got down here when we’re supposed to be up there. The lessons that come with stepping your foot in a stirrup aren’t meant to just stick with you until your quarter is up and the pony ride is over.
I have both my mom and dad to thank for the invaluable lessons I learned through horses.
Horse back riding had conditioned me through my entire childhood to swing back in the saddle after any fall in life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://hayleegrahamwriting.wixsite.com/home
- Instagram: @hayleegrahamwriting
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/haylee-graham-419220162/
