Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Hayley J Croom. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Hayley, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
There’s the old joke about a former gifted kid dressing up for Halloween; when asked what they’re supposed to be, they reply, “I was supposed to be a lot of things.” Growing up, I was acutely aware of other people’s expectations of me. I was a bright, creative, articulate only child of British immigrants, and there were plenty of ideas about what I should do with my life: writer, artist, academic, teacher, psychologist, actor, luminary. There weren’t a lot of concrete suggestions as to how I was to make these dreams happen, but it was assumed that I was a smart kid, I’d figure it out. The world was my oyster, & it was up to me to figure out how to shuck it.
By age 23, those dreams had imploded, derailed by my parents’ divorce, financial crises, and my own questionable decisions. I’d been pulled from one college, got pregnant after barely two months at the next, dropped out, given my baby up for adoption, and wandered into a string of minimum wage jobs. I’d married & promptly divorced a felon & s*x offender, been scammed out of money, and sold household items to make rent. There were some safety nets offered to keep me from utter ruin, but it was made very clear that I was on my own to claw my way out of the mire. Running into old family friends invariably elicited a sad smile and the musing that I was “always so bright, it’s a shame you never did anything with it.” It was easy to feel trapped, stuck, & utterly alone.
But once the dust had settled, I started to see that, despite all my mistakes & misfortunes, I was still standing; my original path had been destroyed, but I had handled it all. I’d managed my bad decisions with as much honesty and accountability as possible, and emerged with a steely sense of integrity & relentless optimism. I’d dug myself out of a catastrophic mess, and had full faith that I could do it again.
My resilience definitely began as “tell me I can’t & I’ll show you I will” obstinacy and the genuine belief that no one was going to come & rescue me; it’s easy to suck up challenges & changes when you know you don’t have much choice otherwise. As I’ve gotten older (and found my craft, and a magnificent therapist), I’ve realized that I only ever gave myself half the credit for surviving those tumultuous years. Yes, needs must, and my ability to put my head down & do hard things got me through. But I could only do those hard things because of a galvanized, essential dedication to myself and a fundamental conviction to fairness, justice, and accountability that I never received as a child.
At its core, my resilience is the song I sing to myself in the darkness, the sword I keep in my hand, and the fire I carry in my heart. I don’t have to see the path ahead to know that I can keep going.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My elevator pitch always begins, “I make soap & sell it on the internet”, but a more realistic descriptor would be “standing in parking lots crying about soap”. Fundamentally, I make soaps, lotions, body scrubs, & other self care products in eccentric & evocative scents. I custom blend all of my fragrances, and lean heavily into literature, history, pop culture, & Jungian psychology to evoke particular moments, places, or emotions through scent. Our sense of smell is so personal, so private, so steeped in our own unique histories, and it’s a thrill to find a combination of notes that really connects with a client. I share my own very personal story through my work, as well, believing that my business is first and foremost about building relationships. As of 2024, I’m entering my fourteenth year in business as a sole proprietor, and look forward to as many more to come!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Be curious, be thorough, be fearless. As a sole proprietor, I have only myself to rely on, which means that I needed to be organized from day one; make peace with your own organizational style and figure out what will motivate you to stay on top of things. For me, it’s the drive to never work for someone else, ever again. To make that happen, I have to be unafraid of hard truths like cost-of-goods, estimated tax payments, and my own mental & physical cycles. I said no more often than I said yes for many years, turning down projects and requests that I knew didn’t fit with the work I wanted to do or the pace at which I wanted to do it. This has kept me a one-person micro business flying generally under the radar, which gives me the flexibility I know I fundamentally need in order to be satisfied in my work; I can pause or accelerate my days on a dime to allow for family needs, practical issues, or my own mental health without jeopardizing overall production or creating a PR kerfuffle. Take stock of your innate values and build your journey around them, and work feels a lot less like a job.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
I’m going to do three titles, because the answer is always “more books”!
The Thank You Economy, by Gary Vaynerchuk – The cult of Gary Vee hasn’t aged well AT ALL, but I will defend the basic premise of this 2011 title until the end. This was one of the few “business” books I read in the early days, and it solidified what was already shaping up to be a cornerstone of my ethos: gratitude and human connection are what people absolutely crave in the modern world, and it’s possible to use social media “all wrong” to create a kind, collaborative community surrounding your brand. It’s why my Instagram account is still a mashup of PBSW news and deeply personal posts, and why I have resisted any kind of social media automation. Folks want to know that there’s an Actual Human Being at the other end of your social media handle, and cultivating that connection nets deeply loyal, supportive clients who actively contribute to your business, financially and relationally.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, by Oliver Burkeman – It could be because I first read this on a desperately needed break, sitting in the woods outside a tiny house in Woodstock, NY, but this book radically cemented my commitment to rest and the importance of Benedictine labor. As a sole proprietor, it’s so easy to get ensnared by hustle culture & The Grind & the pressure to always be doing more. But what if everything we have to get done doesn’t actually need to get done perfectly, if at all? What if the really important thing for us to do in this moment…is nothing? Creative work necessitates periods of expansion & contraction, times of output & times of idleness, the opportunity to just rest & let our minds doodle a bit in order to spark the next idea.
Rebel Witch, by Kelly-Ann Maddox – Much like in business, there are a lot of best-practices and must-do lists in beginner witchcraft, and it’s not hard to feel overwhelmed by all the rules that get pushed around as non negotiable. Kelly-Ann lays out a lot of these hard & fast basics, but then guides us to decide which are actually meaningful to our own personal practice with thoughtful, open ended prompts that invite exploration & self examination. Which is always a door to some pretty powerful magic.
Contact Info:
- Website: paintboxsoapworks.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paintboxsoapworks/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paintboxsoapworks
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hayley-j-croom-386ba1a/
- Other: https://www.patreon.com/paintboxsoapworks
Image Credits
All photos by Hayley J Croom
Headshot photo Digital Ephemera
