We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Heather Mcabee. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Heather below.
Heather, so great to have you on the platform and excited to have you share your wisdom with our community today. Communication skills often play a powerful role in our ability to be effective and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your communication skills.
The strongest way for me to communicate effectively has been to sort through, acknowledge and clear the lens or filter of my past experiences. When I am interacting with someone, I am going to hear and see only through my filter. If my filter is based on my past experiences and if those experiences are negative, I am going to hear and see the negative in the situation and communication. The reverse is also true. So when I am in communication and it is not going well, I pause, reflect, sort through my lens, and recognize what is actually true in THIS interaction and what is coming in from the past. Then I get a clearer picture of what is happening today.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Coming from a history of childhood trauma, I had done years of psychotherapy. While this gave me some understanding, I didn’t really notice my emotions or behaviors changing – I wasn’t getting better. What I didn’t realize was those old wounds were being superimposed on my marriage and how I interacted with my children. Once, I started truly healing those old wounds, my relationship with myself and others began to change. Taking this knowledge, I learned multiple deep modalities to heal and eliminate wounds at their root or core. The work I do now doesn’t just put a Band-Aid over the wound, it provides the wound oxygen to fully heal. In other words, it doesn’t just give you a tool to cope if you get triggered, it removes the trigger. It’s amazing! It has completely changed my life and the lives of my family members. And it is such a privilege to help others heal from their stories of past hurt now too.
My business name is Shifting Sands. I see clients 1:1 either on Zoom or in person at my office in Billings, MT. I host workshops and I am hosting a week-long retreat January 11-18, 2025 in Quimixto, Mexico. It is such a powerful week of transformation for anyone looking for “more” in their life!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three most important qualities for transformation are:
1. Love – All change must be made through love. Not fear, not shame, not pushing – only love. Everything is relational – food, money, intimacy, parenting, business – when we develop unconditional love for ourselves, this overflows into all of our relationships.
2. Empowerment – Along the way of transformation, there are many losses – friends, partners, parts of ourselves. Having confidence, strength and resilience are vital components of not only staying true to your resolve, but in letting go of past hurts and not allowing them to affect your current relationships. Taking back your power in previous situations where you felt you had none is part of this internal process as well.
3. Awakening – This quality involves expanding our consciousness to re-include parts of ourselves that we may have lost along the way of growing up and conforming to familial and societal expectations (ie: creativity, joy, satisfaction, adequacy, trust). It also includes discarding things we brought in based on past experiences (ie: shame, guilt, fear, unworthiness, distrust). It is a heightening of our skills of awareness so that we are attuned to and take ownership of how we create our own reality though our resonance.
If you are early on your journey, I’d advise with starting with Awakening. Begin to think about what you are thinking about. For instance, if you make a mistake: Notice without judgement the thoughts or feelings that come into your mind. If they are negative – Pause, breathe, put one hand on your heart for love and one hand on your belly for empowerment. Acknowledge the negative thought/ feeling and say, “Even though I have felt (fill in the blank with your word), I now choose to feel (choose an opposite word of the negative one).” For bonus points: take it a step further and write down three reasons why the new feeling is true.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
We don’t know what we don’t know. Our brains are amazing computers that are wired for survival. We consciously decide or unconsciously choose to bury, hide, or try to forget certain things in order to avoid pain. But the reality is our bodies always remember.
In my business, I began building digital programs. This was like a “second coming” of my brand. Most of the programs either fell flat or I didn’t finish them. If I did finish them, I didn’t really market them. When I started digging into what was happening, it came forward that the miscarriage I experienced of my second baby was being superimposed onto this second development of my business. In the past 12 months, my journey and growth has been about taking the bandage off this 15-year-old wound and bringing healing to it. This has been uncomfortable, difficult and sad and has required me to step back and really lean into self-care, nurturance and love.
When most people run into a roadblock, we tend to push blame outside of ourselves and throw our hands in the air as if we have no control over it. But we don’t always know what neuropathways are firing at different times. When we remember that we create our reality, we have the power to change it!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.shiftingsands4health.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shifting_sands_4_health/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Shifting-Sands-625741447560412/
- Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/heather-mcabee-b432478b
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs3mFzUVM9wiTXe8u8lKBWA
Image Credits
Arica Lipp Photography
Crystal Garcia Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
