Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Irma La Dulce. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Irma, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I believe that anyone can develop a “f*ck what they think” persona and can increase their self esteem through practice and a new outlook on self perception. Some of our limiting self beliefs can be traced back to childhood or our adolescence.
A bully made fun of my unusually raspy voice for a young girl, and I became insecure about it. I couldn’t stand hearing my own voice on video. I would try to play around with heightening it to sound more like the other girls. I did have a distinctive voice, I knew that, and I internalized the bullying and agreed with them. If you would’ve told me that TODAY my voice would be one of the most adored qualities I have as an ASMR artist according to my YouTube audience, I probably would’ve never believed you.
It wasn’t until I was in my late teenage years that I realized how energy and the vibrations you send out with your voice is what truly matters. As a teen, I played around with walkie talkies (a short lived popular social tool at the time) which were being sold in local hardware stores and shops for locals to chat with other locals in radio range. I remember playing different characters each time I signed onto the walkie talkie. I’d chat with other local voices about life, dreams, aspirations, latino culture, and crack jokes. People would compliment me on my voice and even with my many name changes they’d still recognize me amongst the other voices.
I realized it’s how you use your voice that is much more important that the voice you’re born with. The intonations you choose to convey something in, the way mood effects your tone, the way compassion can be felt in how you sing your words, the way all of these psychological states are communicated in your own unique voice: that’s where the magic lived. The thing that I was so insecure about, I became obsessed with developing; I took voice lessons during my acting conservatory program, I trained myself to stop cringing at the sound of my own voice by recording myself and listening back to countless audio files, repeating “this is me and life is too short to not be enjoying all of me”.
And so it goes with all the other insults, jokes, and bullying that we experience in life. We can choose to agree with them and hate ourselves, or we can choose to strengthen and develop parts of us to reach our fullest potential.
Why do we buy into other people’s insults, jokes, and BS comments in the first place? Partly because we actually do agree with their assessment of us. When we don’t know ourselves or our own self worth, we adopt other people’s judgements of us. When in reality their BS has very little to do with us. Most people who are cruel and say judgmental things to us are probably insecure and have their own self loathing issues that they’re trying to project onto us. It’s not as easy as just “ignoring” them. Here’s a fresh perspective that has helped me get passed low self esteem and low confidence:
We all live in our own subjective reality. You can never truly see yourself in the eyes of another, can you? Just the same, they can never see themselves through your eyes. We operate in these social illusions, wearing different masks when we’re in different social settings. We are all natural born actors, behaving one way at work and another way at home. This is part of being a human being. Some people will recognize remarkable qualities in you, probably mirroring their own remarkable qualities. If someone has a lot of self loathing, insecurities, or a negative inner voice, they may project all of that onto you. A lot of what people see in you are qualities already realized within themselves. We can only meet people as far as we have met ourselves. Anything anyone says about you, good or bad, is coming from a limited, subjective perspective. The only one who will ever truly know you: is YOU. Only you can define for yourself who you are and what your worth is. When you understand this phenomenon, your level of self confidence and self esteem is endless and entirely in your hands alone.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I create ASMR videos on YouTube to help people relax, study and fall asleep. My videos are in the style of role playing where I play as your barber, doctor, chiropractor, shoe shine girl, or reiki master in simulated situations that trigger the viewers Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). ASMR is a hypnotic state of mind that we experience when we hear certain pleasant relaxing sounds, feel comforting textile sensations, or hear a calming voice giving us instruction on something. I bring my training in theater acting, hypnosis, reiki energy work, and bellydance into all of my videos. You can watch them here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoEHhB74NDj2vegbNAqqw4w
On Fansly, a subscription based platform for adults 18+, I create personal attention role plays for sensual exploration and sexual healing. These videos and audios are my most potent energy work offerings for the erotic mind. I combine spiritual elements from my Taino heritage, reiki training, santeria and channeling moonlight energy for unblocking stuck sensual energy, and for discovering new paths. Each of my characters embody the viewer’s inner anima archetypes, induces tranquility, then heightens the energy and leads them to transcendence within the erotic realm.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three most important skills that were most impactful in my journey were: developing my spirituality, studying and researching eroticism, and integrating my own shadow into my creative work. My advice for you is to pay attention to the parts of you that you keep repressing or pushing aside. That part of you that every so often creeps back up again and that you cannot get rid of. The shadow parts of us will never go away. In order to fully accept yourself, you will need to integrate your shadow into your life. This process my feel like a small death to your ego, but it’s critical for achieving unity within your own being: soul and spirit unified. Unpopular opinion: you cannot be what you want to be. You are who you are. Who you want to be is actually the ego mind trying to take control of your identity. Who you actually are, scares you. But life is too short not to do the work to accept all the parts of you and become whole. You’ll need to befriend your shadow, and integrate it in ways that do not harm others or yourself.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
Read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, PhD
You will learn how to integrate your own shadow into your life by embracing your dark side and fully realizing your inner power
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/irma_la_dulce_asmr/
- Twitter: https://x.com/IrmaLaDulceASMR
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoEHhB74NDj2vegbNAqqw4w
Image Credits
Irma La Dulce
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
