We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jake & Lindsay Ezerski a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Jake & Lindsay , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
Jake:
My resilience comes from my perspective of what success and failure are. I believe that failure is the act of giving up before you’re out of options. Continuing to try, even when things look hopeless, always seems to bring you to your goal sooner or later. My favorite example of this, as trivial as it seems, is my struggle loosening a bolt.
One day, my wife Lindsay went to start her car and all she heard were the dreaded sounds of a failing starter motor. Luckily, we were at our house, so time was on our side. I immediately got online to order a new starter motor as I mentally prepared for what seemed like a fairly straight forward fix. In my mind, I laid out the steps one by one: first I would lift the car up using jacks, then I would disconnect all of the wiring attached to the starter motor, loosen the bolts holding it in, and finally swap out the old starter with the new one as soon as it arrives. After about a week went by, the new starter arrived in the mail. As I gathered my tools next to the car, I thought to myself how the whole operation should be done in just a couple of hours. I knelt down and slid the jack under a cross bar below the engine. Within a few minutes, there was enough space for me to secure the car with blocks and crawl under. I located the old starter motor and disconnected the wires. I could feel my excitement build as it looked like I’d be done sooner than I thought. There were only two bolts holding the motor in place. I grabbed my ratchet and placed it over the bolt that was furthest away. I had to position myself somewhat awkwardly because of the tight space I was working in. Only one hand could fit at a time. After twisting until exhaustion, I switched hands. This bolt was stubborn, but with a few deep breaths and several swear words later, it was out. One more until I can swap the starter and call it a day. The last bolt was in a slightly better position for leverage and visibility, so I was able to use both hands to drive the ratchet. I began to apply torque and nothing happened. I was a little surprised since the other bolt came out with a similar application of force, but regardless I tried again and still nothing happened. I switched to using my left hand, then my right hand in the same way as I did with the other bolt, with no luck. I was breathing heavily by this point and figured I might just need some rest. After taking a quick break, I went back under the car. Using both hands again, I pressed on the socket wrench so hard that the handle of the began to dig into my palms. When I pulled away, I could see the knurl from the handle imprinted in my skin. I was becoming frustrated since I was so close to fixing the car, only to be held up by a single bolt. It was especially frustrating because this wasn’t a technical problem that I didn’t know how to fix, or a part that I needed to order. I was being delayed because of a single bolt. I went to the shed and picked up some WD40, since I figured the bolt might be rusted on and need a little oil to get going. After soaking the bolt, I figured that I should just try again tomorrow since since it was starting to get dark out and the oil would need some time to diffuse into the tiny cracks and crevices.
The next day after work, I headed to the car with tools in hand. I slid under the car with my wrench, positioned the handle for maximum leverage and twisted. The bolt wouldn’t budge. “No big deal” I thought, this was only the first try. I twisted again and… nothing. I became more frustrated, and grabbed a hammer to try and hit the other side of the bolt as I twisted in an attempt to break through the rust. I tried different positions, and even extended the wrench with a pipe to gain more leverage. Nothing made the bolt budge even a little. Before I knew it, the daylight faded and I needed to accept today’s defeat. As I neared the end of work the next day, I began searching online for methods to free stubborn bolts and found a bunch of new ways to attack the problem. Today I would try using heat. I picked up my propane torch and got under the car. Slowly, I turned the nob of the torch until a faint hiss was audible. With my other hand, I squeezed the striker near the tip of the torch to light it. Carefully, I moved the flame to the side of the starter where the bolt screwed in. I rocked the flame back and forth along the metal for about a minute. Quickly, I turned off the torch, placed it on the ground next to me, and put my wrench over the bolt. I pushed against the handle, alternating my applied force between maximum and minimum, like a dog playing tug of war. The bolt was unfazed. I repeated this procedure several times, but soon it was dark out and success would elude me once again.
It was day four, and instead of going underneath the car after work, I was headed to the hardware store to pickup an impact driver. The sound of this tool is often associated with mechanic shops and pit crews for good reason. This was the muscle I needed to force that bolt off. I rushed back with renewed optimism. Daylight was limited, but I might be able to take one shot at the bolt before sunset. Once I got home, I rushed to the shed, setup the air compressor, hooked up the impact driver, and got under the car. I brought the driver just an inch or two from the bolt, but realized I could go no closer. The body of the tool was slightly too large to fit in this tight space. I had been counting on this new tool so much that I spent all of my time and effort on setting it up. Now, it was dark, the bolt was still secure on the starter motor, and another day had passed without success.
My mind was filled with thoughts of self doubt. How was it possible for such a simple task to take so much effort? How was it possible to try so much and fail at something like this? Maybe I should just bring the car into a shop or have a professional work on it? I didn’t know whether I would ever be able to loosen that bolt, but the the idea of giving up entirely seemed worse. The way I saw it, there were only two possibilities: either I lacked the ability to remove that bolt no matter what I did, or there existed some path that would lead me to success. The only way to know which of the two possibilities was true was by continuing to try.
On day five, I thought I’d combine two of my previous strategies at once: heat and leverage. I had to know that I tried absolutely every combination before I admitted defeat. Failure was not the end of the world, and in terms of a stuck bolt, it didn’t really make a difference to anyone but myself. I, like the bolt, was stubborn. I got under the car with my torch, a pipe and my socket wrench. I expected this time to be no different from my other attempts, but I tried to focus on putting my best attempt forward anyway. Sparks from the flint hit the tiny stream of gas igniting the torch. Before heating the side of the starter, I placed the wrench on the bolt head and put the handle through the pipe. While holding this tool configuration with my left hand, I began heating the starter with my right. After about a minute, I quickly placed the torch on the ground next to me and turned the knob off. With both hands on the pipe, I pushed. I felt movement, and for a second I thought I had broken off the bolt head. I looked at the the case and saw a small gap forming. The bolt was free.
I had spent so much time and effort on this and been so close to giving up. Part of me believed that loosening the bolt really was not possible, so seeing it finally move was cathartic. Later that night, I wondered how many other challenges in life were like the bolt. Had I given up on the second or third day, I never would have known I could do it. Whenever I experience a challenge in my life, I tell myself that no matter what, I must try. Even if I am not successful, keep trying until I can’t anymore. Because there are so many possible ways to solve a problem, failure becomes a choice that is in my control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsay: How do you develop your ability to take risk.
Pliny the Elder said “audentes Fortuna iuvata,” on his way to attempt rescue on the shores of Pompeii during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. This Latin proverb meaning “fortune favors the bold” is something I tell myself when faced with complex decisions. I have generalized anxiety disorder which has physical symptoms such as irregular sleep patterns & gastric issues, emotional stress via perfection paralysis, imposter syndrome, reactionary bouts of fight, flight & freeze, I could go on- but in the midst of overthinking, I often look at the bigger picture of what I’d like my life to look like. I have always wanted a full life rich with curiosity & wonder, knowledge & skills developed through a variety of unique experiences, culminating in exponential growth & leadership. It is for this very reason that many times in my life with a dream in my head, some hope in my heart & a lot of planning on paper I have chosen to level up despite the cloud of fear casting shadows on my path into the unknown. First it was leaving the United States for to live immersed in Italian daily life as an au pair in San Miniato my first Summer of college where I learned to make tiramisu, speak a new language, navigate in a foreign land & drive a manual car on winding carriage roads through the hills of Tuscany with four children under the age of ten talking, singing, laughing, bickering, whining & flailing about. That kind of experience really builds one’s independence! Next, I opted for a divorce after a 19 year relationship including 11 years of marriage when it was clear that we had grown apart & wanted different things in life. I could have stayed in the very comfortable life I had made for myself, but instead I bravely laid out my reasons, plans & expectations of that process to my then husband, who, while frustrated & frightened, followed my lead & we were able to disengage our highly enmeshed lives amicably, affordably, without lawyers & legal fees. P.T. Barnum said “Comfort is the enemy of progress.” My current husband, Jake, who I met by ensuring I continued to pursue my passions, enjoy my hobbies & just generally do the things that I loved despite the fear brought on by massive change & uncertainty reminds me of this quote often, as we have continued to calculate & take larger & larger risks since we have been together- from moving out of Houston to a rural town with fewer than 200 people to live in a rehabilitated barndominium on 20 wooded acres you have to take 2 dirt roads to get to, to starting a farm with 2 pods, some catfish & a few ducks to a collection of meat & egg birds from chickens, ducks, guineas, turkeys, quail & growing our own fruits & vegetables, to starting our own people-first Electronic Dance Music & Art network which hosts a festival every Fall just before Thanksgiving. None of these life levels were easy to achieve, every opportunity came with sacrifice, every new challenge came with growing pains. The up side of anxiety is the rapid-fire considerations of “What If’s” which I have mostly learned to control & use as a super-power for preparing for the next level in life & when I find myself beginning to get overwhelmed, I hear my mom telling me “All this thinking & someone else would have just done it by now.” So, I trust that I’ve made it this far successfully & I can rely on my own knowledge, skills, discipline & motivation. I trust my husband’s fantastic risk assessment. I trust that together we can chart new paths to destinies we have yet to even imagine & I boldly head toward the possibilities, because life is short, it’s only what you make of it & whenever my time comes, I will be satisfied knowing I made the best of what I had.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
We started TerraNova TX in the Fall of 2022 out of the front of a derelict building, the only section of a crumbling strip center to avoid abandonment in the center of our one-light town in East Texas because we had just moved here & wanted to meet the community in a way that was accessible to us while we rehabilitated our future farmhouse down the road. What started as a weekend-only speakeasy has morphed into a network of musical, visual & performance artists, collectives, labels, production companies & small businesses from across the state of Texas. Every Fall, the weekend before Thanksgiving we throw a networking event in the form of a leave-no-trace music & art festival called NOVA which brings an influx of new people together for community enrichment, boosts the local economy & helps each participant hone their brand, broaden their network, grow their business & so much more. Through lots of coordination & a little sacrifice made by everyone who participates, this event operates without corporate sponsorship, showcasing what Texans can do when they come together for a common goal, highlighting the incredibly talented folks from across the state & spreading brand recognition to a broader audience due to the events collaborative & almost conference style nature as well as it’s excellent location in Midway, Texas. Midway is the perfect locale for a sound culture event as it’s got a small but widely spread population & when folks from Austin, Dallas & Houston all drive 2.5 hours or less into East Texas, they all converge “Mid-way” for an amazing weekend of Art, Atmosphere, Community & Music in which everyone has a sense of ownership.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Jake:
Be honest with yourself. Be brutally honest. Try to take an objective look at yourself and recognize where you’re going, where you want to go, and what you need to do to bridge the gap. The only way to improve yourself is by recognizing what needs improvement. Acknowledge your flaws and move forward.
You must change yourself. The world is constantly changing, and if you want to keep up, you must change as well. Don’t ever stop growing, learning new things, or exploring the unknown. Recognize parts of yourself or your life that can be improved and take action. Change doesn’t have to be rapid. If you make a positive change every day, large or small, you’ll always be better today than you were yesterday.
Don’t let fear stop you. Whether you want to start a business, go to school, move to a new place or climb a mountain, you’ll feel the fear associated with the unknown. Don’t let the fear stop you because most of the time, fear is the worst part. Take on challenges, you will grow from facing them and become a better person each time.
Your best qualities will develop over time, like all skills do. It is difficult to keep going when you lose hope or feel lost. My advice is to think like a baby bird hatching from a shell; all you need to do is push.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsay:
The three skills that helped me reach this point in my life & career were really related to planning (read: a way to cope with my anxiety) by 1. staying true to the largest version of a vision while 2. simultaneously breaking it up into its various components, deciding which are essential to carrying the vision & then 3. creating the essence of the overall vision by fulfilling each aspect of a required component in the most balanced & efficient way possible. For example, we knew we wanted to create a more unified EDM scene in Texas through a sustainable music & art festival; that was the vision & we knew we could not & should not do it by ourselves, so we had to decide what the essentials were. The essentials were funding, facilities, safety, sustainability, personal stake/ownership/responsibility, Electronic Dance Music, otherworldly visual & performance art & communication. We began collecting like-minded individuals & asking them which of these essential components they felt compelled to support & through this process developed teams to grow & develop these aspects as fully as possible as efficiently & sustainably as possible- most of which happened through trades & exchanges such as website development & promotional support in exchange for line-up fulfillment & stage hosting, or how our vendors can earn a discounted or even free vending spot by contributing something to the festival such as being on the flow arts performance team or providing a live painting display. The best advice I can give to anyone on any journey, is to just go into each challenge with as much knowledge, skills, plans & contingencies as you can & then trust the process. If it doesn’t work out just how you intended the first time, learn from it what you can & apply that knowledge in the next iteration. Most of all, only share the big picture with those closest to you, those who you believe can benefit from your knowledge, or those you are courting to become part of that big picture- as anything else is not only a waste of time & energy, but it also gives the same positive feedback to your brain as doing the actual task, but without the effort while also not achieving anything.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
TerraNova TX is always looking for Electronic Dance Music friendly artists- DJs, Producers, Performance Artists, Visual Artists both analog (painters, sculptors, immersive or interactive experience creators) & digital (content creators, graphic designers, video jockeys, laserists, media & press), Artist Collectives & Labels, Small Businesses & Sponsors, Vendors, Volunteers- just general community engagement, involvement & support for NOVA Music & Art Festival. If you are interested in participating in the NOVA project, all you need to do is go online to our website at www.terranovatx.com & use the “CONNECT” drop down menu to apply, or reach out to [email protected] or @terranova_tx on Instagram. We enjoy meeting new, like-minded people & are hopeful to build a healthy, symbiotically growing network across the state of Texas & beyond, because at TerraNova TX, “We don’t divide, we multiply!”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.terranovatx.com
- Instagram: @terranova_tx
- Other: [email protected]
Image Credits
Alissa Szucs Photography
Chad A Photoz
Shaya Eve Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
