Meet Jamaal Simmons, Msw, Caimhp, Cmip, Lcsw-c

We were lucky to catch up with Jamaal Simmons, Msw, Caimhp, Cmip, Lcsw-c recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jamaal, thank you so much for joining us and opening up about the very personal topic of divorce. So many in the community are going through or have gone through divorce and we think hearing about how others dealt with the aftermath and managed to build a vibrant, successful life and career despite the trauma of divorce can be helpful to many who might be feeling a degree of hopelessness. So, maybe you can talk to us about how you overcame divorce?

Lets go with the hard questions first lol It was difficult, however it took some time, healing, self-care, and the support of my tribe. All things generally take time. However, I made sure that I faced my feelings of grief instead of suppressing them and laying in the bed all day, which was a common occurrence. However, I think my body needed a chance to heal and my brain needed a chance to process. So sometimes I did lay in the bed and maybe that’s what I needed at times. The healing came in the form of therapy from my first therapist and my current therapist.

My first therapist, Eric Kuessner, with whom I’ve been with for several years during grad school knew the situation and could help me sit with my feelings. It was also helpful to provide an additional male perspective on what was happening and someone who can also relate to my feelings since he’s been through a divorce as well. He really helped me process my intense feelings as I was really confused as to why the divorce was happening despite myself even making an compromise to consider they’re requested ethical non-monogamous relationship and frustration since I felt that a did my best to work things out for the marriage and for my kids.

After things were emotionally stable, I wanted to switch it up and get a woman’s perspective with my current therapist, Karimah Cornelius-Stith. She was really helpful for me to get and understand the other side of the coin that I truly didn’t get whether that was because I’m a heterosexual male, culturally, my communication style, having ADHD, and/or whatever amalgamation of reasons as to why I didn’t quite understand women in general at times. To be honest, even as a therapist, I don’t always fully understand women and still don’t lol, so was really good to hear from a woman’s perspective. I think that through the experience I’m better able to connect with my kids so that I can be a better father and example as they navigate life And see me as one of their positive male figures.

I started to also develop new self-care routines that helped me during the times where things were really depressive And when the occasional, intense dark thought came about. It was especially hard working with certain clients that were more suicidal because I could genuinely understand why someone would make that decision despite the majority of me not wanting to go that direction. It was dark times for sure, and I thank the universe that I was able to make it through with reminders of my support system and my tribe who love me. Also starting some medication was helpful for me and doing even more of a deep dive in therapy was helpful for me as well. Before then I’d just taken asthma medication. However, with adding medication for depression and anxiety, it made things easier like lowering the difficulty level on a video game. I was able to see things in a more positive light and more able to get things done around my new place. To give you more context, after my ex requests the divorce she also asked that I leave the house. Thinking that she needed some space and that might help us get back together I did so into a One bedroom, one living room, one small kitchen and one bathroom apartment. After trying to have a conversation with her about our relationship at least once a month for the next 6 months after being in the apartment, I realized that, the intention was not to get back together on their end. So moving on and grieving was an important part of the process for me and also realizing the reality that things were over and there was not anything I could do except move forward. That realization really helped me get to the point where now I’m in a much bigger place that has space for the kids, my fiance, and even for some loving pets. It became easier for me to see that even better times are ahead of me.

When I refer to my tribe I mean my family and friends who are genuinely there for me in a reasonable way. I had to cut off some people during this time and that was painful yet it was a blessing in disguise because I could see who was truly for me and who truly wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, there are certain people in my life that I know couldn’t necessarily be there right away because of distance, family obligations, etc. so that was completely understandable, however, there were certain individuals that needed to go so that I can make space for people who are authentically there for me. I made some new friends, even gained some new family members, along with my relationship with my fiancé, Michelle. To be frank, I didn’t believe in romantic love anymore and was really struggling with the concept of that and how that fits with marriage in an American society and how that related to my past Christian-based upbringing in my beliefs. Much of my therapy was used to challenge these thoughts and helped me to see a more positive way of looking at marriage and at the same time being realistic In understanding that even though, technically, marriage can be conditional love in the sense that there are certain lines, that if they are crossed, it can be better to leave than to stay. And even though it’s not fully unconditional love, that just meant that I needed to be more careful about who I chose to love, examine myself so I can be a good partner, and involve those with whom I trust, to give me their honest opinion about my partner.

Therefore, It was a lot of introspection, listening to emo music, yelling out lyrics, practicing meditation and forgiveness, self-searching, ours are driving, and many hours being the literal hermit tarot card that helped me overcome the different aspects of the divorce, grief, seeing less of my children than I was used to (we have 50/50 custody- although I would love more time with them), learning to trust in myself again, and learning to stand up for myself that helped me appreciate and move towards the new chapter in life I’m in now.

And this time around, I know the meaning behind the quote from John Mayer, “I’ve got your back, love,” that many people search their entire lives for. Through this, to quote Fall Out Boy, “Bad Miracle” (meaning, to me, that I didn’t feel good at the time, however it turned out well later on) occurred and I feel two to three times as blessed as I was before, and I suspect that even more is coming in the future. Don’t get me wrong, occasionally the stages of grief still come back in (this is normal), but each time I feel like I’ve made progress, and it occurs less and less each time kind of like an old ship that gently disappears off into the blinding sunset.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I’m Jamaal Simmons, and I’m a clinical therapist. I received my master’s in social work, I’m an amateur published author, and I dabble in some finance and real estate. For those who aren’t familiar with mental health therapy, you can think of me as a more grounded version of Sigmund Freud, a neurodivergent Brené Brown, who looks like a mixture between Michael Strahan and a nerdier version of Kenan Thompson, lol!

I first went to Worwic community college, I got my bachelor’s in arts at Salisbury University in Maryland and my master’s of social work at Morgan State University in Maryland. At first, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, and then as I tried out some internships, asked a bunch of questions, and explored some new things, I found that I really liked psychology. I went in the direction of social work because even though I was specializing in mental health, it gave me the ability to explore other areas, which pleases my ADHD mind to have options, lol. And trust me, my mind does need options. Otherwise I get bored and then I start doing projects which is how I got into writing and publishing Android apps. When I get into my hyperfocus mode. I feel like the lin-manuel Miranda version of Alexander Hamilton; I begin joyously/furiously writing.

I worked in for-profit, non-profit, state, and federal sectors, and I ended up liking for-profit the best, as it affords me more agility to do things the way I want them done. I’ve worked at some outpatient clinics, including Man ALive Lane Treatment Center, along with the Veterans Administration in Baltimore and at Perry Point Maryland. I left the VA in 2021 to pursue private practice and found my caseload quickly filled during the pandemic. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my caseload filled up within 15 days of leaving the VA! Along with my increase in pay, increase in self-care time, and increase in autonomy I was delighted to be in private practice and haven’t looked back since!

As I saw most of the landscape changing towards a telehealth model, I started to specialize in men’s issues and addiction (including sexual addiction), which I’ve learned and continue to learn about from the kindest/infamous mentors/psychiatrist, Dr. Fred Berlin. He’s most known for sexual trauma, sexual addiction, and for being the psychiatrist who worked with Jeffrey Dahmer. It’s led me to work with some pretty infamous people, and the psychology nerd in me is kind of excited about the unique challenge to be honest lol!

During the time that I’ve been a therapist, I would get bored and try new things. So I also learned brain spotting, which is a useful tool for trauma, and video game therapy, which is a useful tool for neurodivergents like myself. But before I was able to really ground myself in my therapy work, I did explore book writing, YouTube, and Android applications.

More recently, I’ve been involved in YouTube and was trying to figure out what some of the best content I could provide would be. After some time of trial and error to figure it out, I feel like I really found my niche in mental health-related shorts. I use them personally for clients to help explain complex issues in a short amount of time, and I found that other people use them as well for their therapy clients. It helps get mental health-related information out in a small, digestible way with easy and simple topics. Plus, writing this stuff helps me get more material for my books that I’m working on. Besides paying for ads for my YouTube channel (a thing that don’t prepare you for in grad school), I think that this content is what people really gravitate towards on a more consistent basis, besides my longer-form meditation content, and background music. It’s especially helpful so that I could share mental health content to my therapy clients to help them really understand certain terms.

Personally, I don’t know code; however, I want to get more into video games in the general neurodivergent field to better understand my many neurodivergent clients and myself. With the help of an app developer, I was able to publish three different Android apps. These apps are free to use for any Android user, and the ads in the apps help provide some passive income. I’m open to developing more applications in the future, and as of right now, I’ve partnered with Press to Play Games in order to help advertise my products and also promote my therapy within their survival video game. Also a big thanks to Denise for walking me through the process of connecting with them. Don’t ask me when the game will come out because I’ve already asked, and they won’t tell me, lol! 😆 I’m hoping that the game comes out within the next five years; however, if I do hear anything about a release date and I get their permission, I’ll let people know on my social media sites.

Once again, personally, I’m not the best illustrator; however, I worked with an illustrator to help me create 4, what I call “action coloring books”. These books were designed to be used in public for those with social anxiety to color in public in order to help them overcome social anxiety. Currently, I’m working on a book about ADHD, especially for those who have been diagnosed late as an adult. My goal is to make it comprehensive so that there are plenty of resources along with support so that newly diagnosed ADHD individuals don’t feel alone. I’m hoping some of my stories of others who were late diagnosed and some of my own stories would hopefully be relatable. My goal is to get this book out in 2025 so wish me luck and please write a nice review lol (but really I’m serious 😆)

Within the next year, I’m looking to work with other clinics in the community so that I can network and meet other people doing similar things to what I’m doing. This has been difficult for me since I’m more of an introvert, and it can be scary for me to meet new people. Luckily, my fiancé pushes me towards networking events, lol. 😊

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I think the three qualities, skills, and areas of knowledge that were most impactful on my journey were learning how to be a forever learner/student, practicing being out of my comfort zone, and introspection. From some courses that I paid for, I’ve learned the art of being a lifelong student. One of my big financial teachers is Andy Tanner from the Rich Dad Poor Dad series with Robert Kiyosaki, and I learned a lot about how to prepare my mind to be a lifelong learner because once you think you know everything, then you stop learning, thus you stop growing as a person, which will affect your ability to make a better living for yourself and your family. I’m also a big fan of books so you’ll hear me reference some during our conversation.

I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because if I didn’t, I would stay stagnant. It’s kind of like playing harder difficulties in a video game on purpose so you get better. Let’s say you’re playing Helldivers 2 (which I do quite often); you’ll never really learn how to be a better player unless you challenge yourself to play the harder levels. Even if your character gets killed a whole bunch of times, every time you die in the game, you’ll learn a new lesson to become a better player. That same principle can applies in real life. Although everyone’s level of difficulty can be different due to their background, culture, sex, gender, ethnicity, etc., if one wants to grow, you have to go out of your comfort zone within reason. I don’t overstress myself, which would lead to burnout, at the same time. I try not to stay in the same areas just because they’re easy either. To challenge oneself is to grow.

Introspection, a.k.a. learning about oneself, is really important. I understood that I was adopted around elementary age, so it’s been a little harder to learn about my history. However, I still make efforts to do so, and I also learned that I have anxiety, depression, and ADHD as an adult. This wasn’t all at once. Bear in mind, this was over time, and once I found out and knew, then I knew how to work with my brain, body, and motivation better. I was using the wrong tools instead of the right tools for myself. As I continue to work on introspection, I challenge myself to deal with life’s hardships and how to grow from them. This is another tool in my tool belt to help me get to where I am.

As far as what advice I would give for others trying to improve themselves, I would tell them to get themselves into therapy/coaching/mentorship so they can work on themselves, get the opinions of those they trust to tell them what their weaknesses are, and be a better person. These are all fantastic ways to grow as a person and see yourself for who you truly are. Once you do, I’ve found that I’ve been able to grow as a person and help others to grow as well.

Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?

I’m definitely looking for others to partner with that match my vibe. Whether that’s in mental health, finances and real estate, gaming, and/or writing, I’m open to talking to collaborators who share similar passions and interests. I believe that collaboration can lead to incredible synergies and innovative ideas that we might not achieve alone.

Even though I’m pretty individualistic most of the time, I 100% recognize that I couldn’t have gotten here without the help of other people who have inspired and supported me along the way. Their insights and encouragement have been invaluable in my journey. So for those who are interested in exploring potential partnerships or simply exchanging ideas, please feel free to reach out to me via email or social media. I would love to connect and see how we can create something amazing together.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Images from Simmons Mental Health LLC

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