Meet Jamar Rogers

We were lucky to catch up with Jamar Rogers recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jamar , really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
This question is really funny to me because I was once quite obsessed with finding my purpose.

I had this idea that discovering my purpose was the answer to all of my problems. If I could just figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life, then (poof!) all of my anxiety would be gone. Depression would be a thing of the past! I’d walk with a little pep in my step because I’d have this inner compass and wouldn’t feel so rudderless.

Unfortunately, I was going at it all wrong because I was obsessively chasing.

In Medium, Savannah Schaffer writes, “We think finding a purpose, a mission in life, will soothe the aching inside and make us feel worthy and deserving of love. If we can accomplish something great in life, then perhaps we can look in the mirror and love what we see.”

I didn’t love what I saw when I looked in the mirror. In fact, I kind of despised what I saw. My needing to find my purpose was actually me seeking external validation, so that I’d give myself permission to take up space. Being on The Voice showed me that no amount of external validation will ever be enough validation. You will always need more.

People would say self-love this and self-love that and all I heard was blah blah blah. How could I love myself when I barely liked myself?

I stumbled upon a simple book written by Louise Hay called, Mirror Work. This book made me aware of all of my negative self-talk and how much I sabotaged the good things stirring in my life because I didn’t think I deserved them. I became aware of this by going to the mirror every day to affirm myself. I’d say things like, “Jamar, I really love you” and “I trust you’ll make the right decisions” and “You’re allowed to take up space” and “I forgive you”.

A part of me didn’t believe these words at first. In fact, I recoiled and resisted against them. But I vowed to show up for every day for 21 days to shower my reflection in the mirror with love. I began to notice little things shifting around me, like strangers on the street giving me compliments and unexpected money showing up in my bank account. I felt my confidence grow which made me try new things: workouts, hobbies, art. I started realizing that as I began to like myself, I started believing in myself, which started to look a little like self-love. After the 21 days were up, I couldn’t stop the mirror work. I kept going, and five years later, I’m still doing it daily.

I learned that you don’t find your purpose, your purpose finds you. And it can only find you when you’re in a space to be found. And you can only be in that space when you’re not chasing. And you finally stop chasing when you realize that you deserve the things you want. You’ve just needed your own permission.

Since then, I’ve found a lot of joy in helping others accept themselves fully—this means the mistakes of their pasts. I’ve also taken to teaching meditation and somatic therapy because it helped me like myself a little more, and I figured it would help others as well. I also signed a new record deal with an indie label and I’m putting out heart-aligned songs that make me happy. All of this sounds like it may be my purpose, but all I know is I’m having fun. And I happen to like myself while I’m doing it.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Like I previously mentioned, I just signed with Rockdaduqout to release Sugar Baby on October 13th. I’m also releasing a series of somatic movement videos for folks to do at home.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I call them the 3 P’s. Perseverance, Patience and Presence.

You gotta persevere at what you love even if others don’t believe you can do it. You’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it for YOU.

You’ll need patience because longevity isn’t built overnight. Can you go easy on yourself as you get better at the craft you’re perfecting?

I’ve learned that the destination shouldn’t be the only goal; the ultimate goal is to enjoy the journey on the way there. This enjoyment comes from presence. Be actively present in the process, so you won’t forget to have fun.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
For me, it’s easy to get overwhelmed when I’m stuck in my head. And I get stuck in my head when I’m lamenting the past or worrying about the future.

Meditation has been a game-changer because the simple act of connecting with my breath or silently repeating a mantra to myself brings me out of my head and into the present moment.

Every time I’m willing to set some time aside to practice presence, I lessen the effects of future anxiety attacks.

Science backs this up because a daily meditation practice can shrink your amygdala, which is your fight or flight center in your brain. When you’re freaking out, you can’t make rational decisions. The calm mind always finds the solution.

Contact Info:

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Where do you get your resilience from?

Resilience is often the x-factor that differentiates between mild and wild success. The stories of

Productivity
Beating Burnout

Often the key to having massive impact is the ability to keep going when others

Leadership Development
Finding Your Why

Not knowing why you are going wherever it is that you are going sounds silly,