We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jan Canty, Ph.D. a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Jan, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
Some people get clarity on their purpose while young but for most of us, I don’t think it clicks until we’ve hit middle-age or beyond. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees when raising kids, climbing a work ladder, and figuring out how to squeeze $300 worth of groceries from the $211 in your account. It’s like persistent static electricity.
I was in my late 60’s when the pieces braided together. It wasn’t planned. I had no role models. But once it registered it was riveting and unshakable. It still is.
My purpose came after 30 years of living a redacted life. I moved away from Detroit and told no one in my “new life” that my husband had been killed. His homicide was deliberately slow and painful. It became highly public. It was scandalous. It was horrific. I can’t begin to convey the re-traumatization that comes from unwanted media exposure.
It’s odd isn’t it? Our society devours true crime movies, books, podcasts and news with little thought to the impact the publicity has on the family…. Some strangers even act like they know you.
Anyway, I used those 30 years to put me back together. I joined a gym and then a women’s group who met four mornings a week at 6:30 sharp. In our fourth year, we decided to take up triathlons. I started five. I finished five. While it was exhilarating to cross the finish line, it was even more so to do it with like-minded women.
Socially I decided to do volunteer work on five continents in very remote places. I learned more than I wanted about Velvet Green Night Adders, the pain from Army ants, the brutal sting from Fuzzy Caterpillars in my bed and what unfiltered drinking water looks like under a microscope. I developed a new appreciation for the dangers of elephants and what untreated intestinal parasites do to a child.
But my travels taught me two important lessons. As bad as I thought my life was, it was a cakewalk. I’d taken for granted so much. And, second, the resilience of people I came to know who can live without electricity, stores, running water, physicians, transportation, and permanent housing. Many knew three or more languages, had beautiful teeth from using a certain bush to clean them with, and could start a fire with just their hands. I came home with a new perspective.
And third, there was my podcast, Domino Effect of Murder. I found “my tribe.” My guests are other so-called “homicide survivors.” I admire their insights, persistence, and loyalty. I’ve learned much from them. It keeps me investing in my purpose.
I’ve authored two books, my memoir (A Life Divided) was my first. My second was a reference book (What Now? Navigating the Aftermath of Homicide and Suicide.)
I speak at conferences for law enforcement, forensic examiners, biohazard cleanup companies, and others. I’m also active in the Innocence Project.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Today I’m still working despite being in my 70’s. I am often called upon behind the scenes to link people with resources and answer questions for the media on the aftermath of homicide. I appear on podcasts and read voraciously on the topic. Most recently I have started a blog on my website: jancanty,phd.com and taken some professions to task.
There is still so much work to do. One of the biggest obstacles is us – the human shock absorbers after the homicide. We withdraw from society when our loved one is murdered, and society withdraws from us.
I would love to see more funding for hotlines, more presence in the research in academia, and be shown accurately in docudramas and books. I would love for us to have rights to privacy against media intrusion – to push that line back of “the publics’ right to know.”
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Looking back I attribute these pieces as contributing heavily to where I am today
l) My parents raised me to be responsible for my own happiness and health and drove home the importance of compassion and a work ethic My parents parented. They weren’t my friends. They were strict and funny and practiced what they preached. I miss them terribly.
2) International travel, as I mentioned earlier, made a huge and everlasting impact on me. Everyone who can do so should grab that opportunity. It changes you.
3) Meeting other like-minded survivors was a breath of fresh air. They could finish my sentences for me at times. I learned that while every homicide is unique, the aftermath is not.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
The biggest challenge I face today is cancer. I’ve been battling multiple myeloma. There is no cure. I’m grateful for treatment, insurance, a terrific oncologist and sufficient health to endure the procedures. But one day…. One day it may overcome my ability to fight it.
To overcome this challenge I don’t put it center stage. Even my children don’t know it’s come back. I do what I can, cooperate with my doctors but persist at what brings me joy in my life – my gardening, photography, writing and St. Bernards. Just like with the murder I focus on what my cancer has NOT changed in my life.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.jancantyphd.com
- Other: Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jancantyphd
