Meet Jan Reed

We were lucky to catch up with Jan Reed recently and have shared our conversation below.

Jan, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

Resilience was a survival skill I learned in my early years. I am the oldest of five children with 7 years between us. I lived in five different towns in three states and attended four different schools by the time I was ten. My parents were both educators and this also became my profession. I learned to adapt to each move we made, and I realized that I could thrive wherever I lived. My motto was “To bloom where I was planted”. That has served me throughout my life. I was fortunate to have a strong bond with my family and the people I met on my journey through the moves and changes in my life. I learned to embrace change, adapt, and experience what change it brought to my life. Failures and mistakes were opportunities for growth. Another quote or motto I had was, “This too shall pass.” Either good or bad, I learned to live in the moment, not even realizing that that was what I was doing!
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Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I was nearing retirement as an educator of 30 years. I loved the idea of the freedom that it would bring to my life as a retiree. However, I still wanted to contribute financially for the upcoming years, make my own schedule, and do so by helping people. I Googled “Jobs for retired teachers” and the first thing to pop up was Life Coach. I selected it because I had heard of life coaching, but didn’t know exactly what a life coach did. the Googling led me to attend a 3-day DreamBuilder event in LA. I had two tickets to this event and I brought my daughter along. We had never been to anything like this event! It was life-changing for me and my daughter. The main reason I attended was to explore life coaching opportunities. My daughter and I attended the life coaching presentation and both signed up for training to become a life coach. I have been coaching since 2017 on a part-time basis. The teacher-in-me loved how I could make a difference in people’s lives, and the ‘aha’ moments that showed my clients got it and discovered the power within.

The year 2023, brought lots of joy but also the loss of three important people in my life. My godmother passed away after dealing with diabetes for years. My vibrant, healthy, 86-year-old mother unexpectedly died, leaving behind my father, her five children, and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Mom was his primary caregiver. Without her, we discovered how much care Dad needed. We had thought she had many more years of living to do. A month and a half later, the biggest shock of all struck when my husband committed suicide. This death began a journey that I certainly hadn’t wanted or expected. Through this journey of the dark night of the soul, I had great support from friends and family and received help from chaplains and life coaches. I was grateful that I could lean into my life coaching knowledge to help me on this journey. The extreme highs and lows of grief and sadness were something I had never been through. I was also concerned for my children and grandchildren. My daughter had found him and I was on the phone with her when she did. It was a very difficult time for us all. My husband was a hoarder and left behind over 20 years of collecting. However, the helpers showed up and worked for days to clean and sort it out. I was so grateful to all of the helpers. Two weeks after my husband’s death I discovered that he had not turned in our taxes for at least 12 years. Fortunately, my brother, an accountant, helped me through that. Within this journey were many highlights and one of them was when my husband would appear (spiritually) to my life coach during our Zoom coaching calls! This happened 3 times with him leaving the same message for me, that I was safe, and protected, and to just do it! I also received messages from friends who had a dream about him telling me he was doing well and, and also personally when he came to me. I felt a huge wave of love energy and instantly recognized it was from him. I also received the reassurance that he was doing well. I discovered that when I stay in alignment with Source and the Power within me, I enjoy a greater connection with my husband’s energy and love to keep that line open!

My family and I moved throughout the year with all of the “firsts” without a husband, a dad, and a grandfather in our lives, we chose to celebrate his life with each “first” and chose joy over sadness. We knew we were really on our way when on the anniversary of his death, we decided to celebrate him by continuing to live our best lives. My grandson had a football game that day and our immediate family met for dinner before the game and then attended the game (which they won!) Other family members attended the game and we knew that my husband was there throughout our day! My husband had played college football and loved watching and supporting our grandson. We knew he was there cheering my grandson and us on! It was a perfect way to celebrate his life and celebrate us. Although we all know that grief and sadness continue to surface and we acknowledge it when it does. We also know we have the tools to move through it.

This journey led me to add to my focus of Life Coaching. I now get to help people who have had loss in their lives. My experience helps those who after a big loss, get stuck in emotional overwhelm. I have a DreamBuilder coaching program that helps them release the pain of the past so they can welcome a future of joy and happiness. This is a 12-week program that helps guide them to living their best life whatever their circumstances. I offer a complimentary discovery coaching session to anyone who would love to discover more joy and happiness after a big loss. Check out my website for more information and to book a Discovery Call with me.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The skills and insights I’ve learned in training and working as a life coach helped me immensely through this difficult journey. The human side of me grieved for my husband, but the spiritual side of me knew that he no longer was suffering from physical, emotional, and mental pain. I lean into this belief each day and it helps lift me from the emotional trauma that arises. I know his physical body is gone, however, his Spirit is still alive. Even when I found myself struggling with overwhelm and sadness, I loved how he found ways to connect with me. I understand that when I am on the low end of the emotional scale, I’m not in alignment with God or Source and then his Spirit wasn’t available to me. I believe he found ways to connect with me by sending me messages via a good friend’s dream, during Zoom calls with coaches, and when I am in alignment and open to receiving. The love I feel and the messages I receive are comforting and encouraging and allow me to live in happiness and joy while understanding that I can still grieve the physical loss of him.

A discovery on this journey helps me redefine death. The permanency of death on the physical side is the most difficult to adjust to when a loved one passes. I know from fact that his body is gone, but the truth is that his Spirit is still alive and I know he is still with me when I am in alignment with God. Interestingly, when coaching and speaking with people, I often state that “none of us get out of here alive”, I usually get a chuckle or a realization that this is true. In my case, it was difficult to realize that my husband chose to leave. I lean into my awareness that he is out of emotional and physical pain and he has confirmed that!

When dealing with loss, I know that the pain of grief and sadness is not a place I want to stay too long. Through my training and discovery, I realize we all face loss and pain sometime in our lives, I’ve learned I get to decide who I get to be on this journey. I asked myself the question, “What part of this can I control?” My answer is, I can control how I think about it. Every morning when I awaken I get to decide if I am a victim or a victor. Some days I have chosen victim, and I know that it is part of my journey. The part I can control is the length of time I allow myself to stay there. Once I am ready to move forward I decide that I can step into finding the good that can come from this challenge. l can’t change that my husband has passed, but I have learned what a strong, resilient woman I am, I can go forward knowing I am safe, and protected and to “Just Do It!!!

Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?

I am a fortunate woman! I attract amazing people to me. The people who show up and help me have been the best part of my journey. I am so grateful for the wonderful training and knowledge I have gained and am still gaining through the Brave Thinking Institute my life coaching journey. Mary Morrissey and her team continue to support their coaches and help us be and do our best! I have had the opportunity to coach many people to a life they love living and I have many coaches who I stay in touch with and are now dear friends. They have also helped me on my journey.

In addition to a team of coaches, is a dear friend, LaChelle Weime, who has influenced me. She was a client of mine and later I became a client of hers. LaChelle recently hired me to be part of her team in her Spiral Up program. I attended three retreats she hosted. The retreat in Costa Rica was shortly after my husband’s passing and I unexpectedly had the opportunity to jump off of a 20-foot cliff. (I am terrified of heights!) I counted to three and jumped…That was a big moment for me. I realized I was capable of far more than I had thought. LaChelle also helped me after my husband passed. I still look to her as I change the direction of my business as a loss coach. She reminds me of the tools I have to use to make my life easier. I love the coaching part of my business. However, I am learning that I don’t need to do it all by myself. I know with her help and also by hiring an assistant to take on the organizational technical side and marketing side of my business, I can move forward confidently. I will take steps to help more people through speaking, writing, and guiding people who are looking to live their best life after loss.

My greatest discovery is when I tap into the power within me and trust and allow God/Source to guide me on my life journey is when I have the greatest manifesting and joy in my life. I am a lifelong learner who loves living a life of joy and purpose. Each day I get to decide who I am going to Be every day as I lean into that Power!

Contact Info:

• Website: reedslmc.com.
• Instagram: @janlbreed75.com
• Facebook: reedslmc
• Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/jan-reed-9276a042
• Other: I am in the process of building a new website and setting up a social media marketing program.

Image Credits

forever_you_studios Bekka Berge