We recently connected with Jasmin Barnwell and have shared our conversation below.
Jasmin, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
Honestly speaking, it’s hard for me to say where exactly I got my resilience from when I wasn’t supposed to be here. My mom had a very traumatic pregnancy with me. She had to have me by emergency c-section or else she and I were going to die. I was supposed to be born at the end of August but ended up being born early in the month. It’s kind of funny, but I think my birth was the only time where I arrived early to something.
Perhaps my very existence is God proving a point to me daily. Point being that I was meant to exist. I had to exist. It had to be at this particular point in time. Right here. Right now. It took a while for me to see things that way.
A year after my mom had me she had my younger sister. Again, my mom had a traumatic pregnancy. This time things were different. My younger sister was born at 5 months. She was barely over a pound and her tiny brain had hemorrhaged twice. Like me, she wasn’t supposed to live. Every day doctors told my mom that she was going to die and yet each day she proved them wrong. She ended up being the only baby to survive out of the group of NICU babies born around that time. Doctors were astounded, but told my mom that she’d never be able to walk, talk, or live past a certain age. But I could tell you that 32 years later proved them wrong. Her disability didn’t keep her from walking, talking, or darn near driving me up the wall with the “Frozen” soundtrack everyday. She’s a fighter, like me.
I guess my resilience possibly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In nature, Jasmine flowers tend to be evergreen. Meaning they often bloom in times and seasons where other flowers die. They are vining plants constantly growing towards higher and further spaces. Yet, a Jasmine doesn’t start off being a fully realized flower. It starts as a seed.
That seed, has to “die” before it can live. A seed has to be buried deep in the earth. It’s surrounded by dirt and decay. Light can’t even reach where it is. Rain water may as well suffocate it in its soily prison. Sometimes the foulest smelling fertilizer is placed above it or creepy, crawly creatures squirm around it. And yet, that tiny seed does a curious thing. It lays dormant for a while and then when the time is right that potential sleeping inside bursts forth. One hand and its rooty fingers reach down deeper in the earth to form a firm foundation, while the other hand begins to reach up towards the sun it can’t see.
My experience mirrors that of my floral namesake. I didn’t grow up in the most ideal enviornment. My mom raised my sister and I as a single parent. My dad was a revolving door throughout my life. We didn’t have much, but we had each other.
Mom kept my sister and I under her close, watchful eye. As a result, I didn’t get to interact with the neighborhood kids much outside of school. I was quirky, yet shy, a combination that led me to be a target for bullying. This experience followed me from elementary to high school, and exacerbated by becoming the black sheep of the family. I wasn’t a bad kid. The problem was that I didn’t fit people’s expectations of me. Some people didn’t like that I was excelling in certain areas. Some didn’t like that I didn’t treat the culture as a monolith and expressed that with my interests. Some just flat out disliked me.
Despite the things that were happening with me socially, I didn’t have a problem connecting or empathizing with people. I had hope to share and love to give. I found community with others who were outliers like me. I didn’t know it then, but it was a stepping stone in the path of me becoming the person I am now. Of course, I wish I could say that things ended there. However, much like the seed, life had to push me down deeper.
I was the first in my immediate family to go to college. My entire life my late grandfather encouraged me to take pride in my education, and promised that he would cover my schooling when I got into college. I did everything he asked me to. I was an honor roll student. I was involved in extracurriculars. I went to church with my friends. I worked extremely hard. So when I found out that the scholarships I earned wasn’t going to be enough to cover my full tuition, I went to him believing he was going to come through on his promise. You could imagine my shock when he said to me, “No. I don’t want you to ruin my credit.”
I don’t share that to slander my grandfather. There were circumstances outside of my control that I believe influenced this sudden change in behavior. It took some years after he passed for me to forgive him for that. I had spent the first half of my freshman year hunting for scholarships or loans for funding. It was an uphill battle, but by the grace of God, I graduated despite going through financial difficulty every year.
To make matters even worse, the summer after my freshman year of college, my mom was suddenly hospitalized. What was supposed to be a week-long stretch transformed into a months long ordeal that would alter the course of our lives forever. My mom went into the hospital walking, only for a hospital error to leave her as an amputee.
Overnight I lost the luxury of being a teenager able to ease her way into adulthood. I suddenly had to grow up in ways that I never knew before. It’s why I resonate with Nani so much in the original “Lilo and Stitch” film. I was a kid that had to figure everything out to care for an extremely vulnerable child on top of learning how to take care of me. It was one of the worst times of my life.
Some family members tried to talk me out of finishing school, but my mom pushed me to keep going. It was tough having to juggle being in school out of state and then having to find a way home to take care of her and my sister. While I was away, I was working three jobs trying to be less of a burden on my mom and pay for school. Life didn’t stop. I had roommate issues. I had to say goodbye to certain plans I made. My life wasn’t mine anymore.
Still, despite everything, I believed God had a plan. I still believe He does. Even after college, life still decided to life pretty hard and I don’t want this to become something where people feel bad for me. The seed gets buried in all that mess to eventually break through. When it does break through, it blooms into one of the most beautiful things in God’s creation. Life has been hard, but I know eventually I’m going to breach the soil that has been covering me. Eventually, I’m going to grow up from my circumstances into the light of the sun.
I may not be able to see how I’m growing beneath the soil, but I am able to see that I am growing. I know that life did not and will not stop what God started. Perhaps that may be why He wanted me to be here. Perhaps He wanted me to be an example of the indomitable human spirit. I don’t think that resilience is something that you find in your journey. I think it’s something that’s found within you; your journey just exposes it when you need it. I also believe that when you find it that it’s not solely for you. There are others that need the reminder to keep going. The world is dark and things are bleek. Still, as my friend Grace would say, “We carry on.” We live. We breathe. We exist. We take up space. We have the audacity to simply be. And I don’t think you can get more resilient than that.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I have a personal motto, “A Jack of all trades is a master of none, but a Jazz of all trades does it all with the help of the Father, the Spirit, and the Son.” I have always been a multi-hyphenated individual when it comes to the creative space. Singing, writing, content creation, fashion design, voice acting, graphic design; if you name it, chances are I do it. I know some struggle with being gifted in multiple areas because the question often is, “Where do I start first?” or “What am I supposed to do with this?” I believe I am very fortunate to have gifts that overlap together. They aren’t in competition with each other. Instead, they compliment each other.
In the past, I have used my gifts to support small businesses and other creatives. Now I am in a space where I am beginning the process of using my gifting for me. Last year, I had the privilege of being selected as one of the Unlock Her Potential Class of 2024 mentees. UHP focuses on helping women of color break into industries where they’re often met with hurdles. I had the amazing opportunity to be mentored by Preeti Chhibber, who has written for Marvel, DC, and Star Wars.
Over the course of our year together as mentor/mentee, we created the blueprint for my first novel. The beauty of learning from her lied in how much I was seen. My ideas were nurtured, validated, and pruned when necessary. Preeti and I shared a passion for creating stories for children and young people to get lost in. The project I am currently working on is a story that I wish I had as a kid. Preeti’s vision and leadership definitely helped serve as a compass to building my confidence as a writer. I am extremely excited to see how this project is going to unfold.
In addition to that, I have been taking baby steps into content creation for myself. I started the process last year, but I took a step back to really think about how I wanted to approach my platform. It’s one thing to start, it’s another to start in a way that is authentic. I don’t want to be the next so & so. I want to exist as me on a platform that matches my heart so the people that need to find me can. It’s interesting creating for myself compared to when I’m creating for others. I’ve learned though that it is a form of self-love. Like anything else, there are challenges that come with it. I’m not afraid of them though.
In the meantime, I’m open to freelancing/becoming part of a creative team. Aside from my creative gifting, I have a lot of administrative qualities that I have picked up over the course of my non-creative experience. I like fusing the two worlds together as it allows for me to create from a unique perspective. I am a very vision minded person. There is a side of me that dreams and then another side that strategizes how to bring those dreams into reality. I’m usually floating in the music, film, gaming, anime, and faith spaces. I’d be excited to collaborate with individuals and teams in those areas.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
For me, I would say the three things you need to have are faith, vision, and curiosity. Faith, whether religious or not, is absolutely essential to one’s journey. There will be times of introspection where you will have to wrestle with why you believe in the things that you believe in. Some of that wrestling will have to do with believing in yourself and how you manage that belief. If you don’t believe in yourself, you will be at the mercy of waiting for others to believe in you. While it’s good to have external reinforcement now and again, codependence on it sets you up for failure. The harsh reality is, there will come a point where accolades and acknowledgement from others won’t fill or sustain you. If you are able to be the supply of your affirmation, everything given to you by others will be a bonus.
Vision is important to me because your potential only goes as far as you are willing to dream. For the record, not everything that you dream is something you’re called to. However, being able to visualize your desires helps you to discern the direction you should go. There are a lot of people who go through life unfulfilled because they do not dream beyond their mundane day-to-day existence. One of my favorite Bible verses is Habakkuk 2:2-3. To loosely paraphrase, “Write the vision and make it plain so those assigned to your life can help you carry it.” You don’t want to build life in the wrong direction or with the wrong people around you. Vision allows you to honestly assess and discern who should be in your circle, the timing to do things, where you need to go, and what you need to do to get it done. That also means when you begin to visualize your ideal life, you are operating in wisdom and not delusion. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big, but there is a practical side. For example, some visions will require you to acquire debt. That debt has to be managed within reason because if it isn’t, it can lead to your financial downfall.
Curiosity rounds out my three things because life is going to life. And in some seasons of life, it’s going to get stale. Curiosity about the world around you will always lead you to being present in the world. It will help you identify trends before they start and even trends to avoid. Curiosity also will help you to remember that you are a living, breathing human being. Take the time to observe how you interact with the world, and also observe how the world interacts with you.
To build your faith, you need to be able to reflect and ask yourself hard questions. What circumstances have you overcome in life? How did you overcome them? Did you know that you were capable of overcoming that? Do you believe in yourself? If your answers tend to skew more negative than positive, then you need to do the internal/external work necessary to change them into positives.
When it comes to vision, I find journaling or visionboarding helps. Putting ideas on paper or on a digital/physical board helps me keep my goals in front of me and helps me to align my habits to get them done. I created a vision board in Canva and put it as my screen saver so I literally have to see my goals every day. And then when something comes to pass, I take it off and put a new goal. I repeat the process until it’s time to make a new board.
Lastly, curiosity is built by exploring and asking questions. Go to places that stimulate your mind. Listen to things that make you think and pause. Watch things that surprise you with something you never knew. Never stop learning. Always take the time to invest yourself. The discoveries will be worth it.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
I would have to say God. He’s truly blessed me with a community that has helped me grow. Like no one has perfect parents, but He gave me a mom that I look upto so much. He’s given me friends that push me into being my best self and see me. They see my blind spots and hold me accountable. He’s been my example because He’s experienced some of the things I have. The Bible talks about a particular part of Jesus’ earthly ministry where people are judging Him and reducing Him to just being a carpenter straight out of Nazereth. Literally people were asking if anything good came from where He was from. And for seasons where I felt overlooked or judged because of what I was doing, I go back to that and see that I’m not the only one to experience that. Even with people mishandling Him, Jesus never got out of character or turned His nose to anyone. Instead He met people where they were in their humanity and that drew people to Him. I try to do the same when working with others. People are more willing to work with you when you give them space where they can just be with no pressure. It’s a freeing thing and opens the door for organic collaboration that is fruitful and beautiful.
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