Meet Jay Janicki

 

We recently connected with Jay Janicki and have shared our conversation below.

Jay, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

The timing of this question is wild to me, especially after attending Jamie Tworkowski’s “What is my purpose? Or is that a bunch of bull shit?” discussion last Friday and it was magic. If you don’t know who Jamie Tworkowski is: please look him up, he does incredible work for the mental health community. As fate would have it, there was a crisis situation that happened on the call and there were four of us total. Jamie and I were privately chatting, me being worried about someone in the group and not wanting to “take over”, where he essentially passed me the baton and asked me to step in. We were able to get this person the helped they needed and while it required a lot of hard questions and redirection, it was extremely moving. The three of us remaining had time after to process, and it was such a unique experience because I just had two strangers and my friend Jamie watch me be a therapist and walk someone through crisis in REAL TIME. It was extremely surreal watching Jamie and the other member feel so moved and inspired, while also validating that I was right where I needed to be.
Purpose has taken so many shapes for me over the years. I had my entire life “planned out”, I use quotes because if the “master plan” came to fruition, none of it is what I even desire anymore. Purpose was meeting milestones, purpose was pouring my all into other people, purpose was taking care of others and not myself for many, many years. I have slowly but surely stepped further away from those “plans” and whatever milestones I wasn’t meeting and felt a wave of acceptance when I did enough of that work in therapy. I think purpose can shift throughout our lives due to circumstances and changes, but I don’t think purpose is all that we are; I think our purpose is only a small sliver of all of the magic that lives within us.
Currently I feel that my purpose is to choose myself and live the life younger me would be proud of. I’ve been doing a lot of inner child work recently, so my purpose is to take care of that kiddo for the rest of my days. My purpose also still involves helping others, whether it’s through therapy, coaching, or supporting marginalized communities, it all still aligns with my life-long values. However, my purpose has shifted from defining ALL that I am, and today is just SOME of what I am, and there’s so much freedom in that.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am a licensed professional counselor (DE, PA, + MD), holistic coach, and nonprofit + business founder. I wear many hats, which is such an honor and privilege for me. I am in the process of rebranding/restructuring my nonprofit and have many ideas in store, with the overall goal of having a queer respite one day. I recently started my own private practice, where I get to be both a therapist and do coaching! My current full time job at Better Minds Counseling & Services is truly the job that changed my career and changed my life! It’s what made me fall in love with being a therapist again after a year of so much self-doubt.
The most special part about doing what I do is this unique ability to watch a person grow. As a counselor, you watch someone go through so many phases of life, so many changes, tragedies, losses, accomplishments – all of it is so beautiful. The growth that happens in the therapy space is magic. There is something about vulnerability and feeling seen by another person, truly and fully, that makes the magic happen.
If you work with me, you know this part is true. If you’re a future client: you will know that you are loved and cared for unconditionally. I am so real with my clients because they don’t seek me out to co-sign, lie to them, or even withhold the truth. Many people in the field would probably say this is unhinged of me, but I’ve also been in the position as the client who has had the truth withheld by their therapist — for YEARS. My clients seek me out for honesty, empathy, and to sometimes take the risk and say the honest thing. Taking the risk and being “ballsy” throughout my career has served me well and has also let me know that honesty and vulnerability really do create a place for the healing and magic to happen.
I run four groups, below are the days/times and they are available to those who live in Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Maryland:
I Promise, You’re Not Crazy: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse – Mondays @ 6pm
Neurospicy Minds: A Support Network for Therapists – Tuesdays @ 2pm
Beyond Pain: Living with Chronic Pain/Illness – Thursdays @ 2pm
Come As You Are: Queer & Neurodivergent – Thursdays @ 6pm

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Working inpatient as a mental health technician (MHT) was very influential for me. When I was hired, I had just dropped out of nursing school, felt so lost and had no idea what I actually wanted to do with myself. It was my second gap year – I felt like a failure. After becoming a MHT, watching the psychologists and therapists run groups and being able to connect with the patients was so inspiring to me, I asked them for guidance. This entire job is what truly led me to graduate school and strengthened my passion for helping others.
I think that by far, the most important quality I possess is my unapologetic authenticity. Giving myself permission to show up in all spaces as my genuine, authentic self has been a very difficult, but rewarding process. I spent most of my life trying to “chameleon” myself, trying to shrink, fit into spaces I didn’t really belong in, and I was never being true to me. I chose everyone else except myself. Choosing myself, after such a long time of not choosing me, was so relieving.
Discovering Dr. Ramani Durvasula changed my career and overall quality of life as well. A client referenced her in a session and I didn’t know much about her. I looked her up and felt so seen and her work has completely changed the course of my career. I have found so much healing from her knowledge and felt so passionate about narcissistic abuse that it led me to getting my Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) certification. Having experienced narcissistic abuse and antagonistic relationships in my past fueled my fire, but Dr. Ramani was the gasoline of it all that grew my passion for this specific struggle.
My advice to anyone who is in the beginning of their journey, whether healing or career, is to never lose sight of who you are. There will be so many people that will try to change you, shape you into what they want you to be, and maybe even say you’re “too much”. You’re not. Your authenticity and vulnerability are your superpowers. It’s a scary path to walk, especially if you’re a people pleaser like myself, but it is worth it when you get on the other side. I wasted years of my life living according to societal standards, what other people wanted for me or thought I should be — it never made me happy. You’re allowed to choose you. The people labeling you as “too much” maybe are just not enough for YOU. You are a force to be reckoned with, never change who you are.

What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?

It’s hard to narrow this down, genuinely, which feels weird to say. This past year has been the most transformative, painful, but rewarding year of my life. I think my sense of self and confidence in being that has been the biggest area of change and growth. I had no idea who I was for a really long time. After leaving some narcissistic relationships, I was the shell of a human being and went with whatever everyone else thought I was. I didn’t know what I liked, disliked, felt passionate about, there were so many things about me that I couldn’t define in a concrete way. Knowing who I am today has taken so much work and a bunch of “oh shit it’s all over” moments, but I wouldn’t have changed anything that had to happen to get me to this point. Turning 30 and getting a new therapist were game changers for me and I genuinely have never been happier. It’s relieving to finally know who I am, what I believe in, and to know that is enough.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Groups/group images are from Better Minds Counseling & Services

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Leadership Development
Where does your generosity come from?

Over the years, we have consistently been blown away by the examples of generosity we’ve

Leadership Development
Risk Taking & Saying Goodbye To Comfort Zones

Taking risk is natural for some, but in our experience most successful risk takers gradually

Productivity
From Exhausted to Energized: Overcoming and Avoiding Burnout

Between Hustle Culture, Work-From-Home, and other trends and changes in the work and business culture,