Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Jeff Deglow. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Jeff, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome…?… Is that even possible to do? If it is, I’m not fully there yet!… I will not claim to have any authority on how to “overcome imposter syndrome,” as I still feel afflicted by these symptoms and the syndrome. However, having years of experience with it, I am happy to share some of my journey and what I have learned to lessen their effects.
I have suffered from Imposter Syndrome for years prior to understanding what it was. I can remember back in my life where doubting myself and doubting my accomplishments have crippled me. There are examples of this in most areas of my life: personally, physically, platonically, romantically; but I believe where I suffer the most is professionally. It is here where I sense a lot of internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Fearing that my talent, skills, knowledge, achievements and relationships aren’t what they appear to be and that everything could all go away if ever found out.
As an actor, this has always caused much concerned before, during, and even after any contract. During auditions, feelings of unworthiness can flood in causing me to think that I’m good enough, and believing that any success-to-date has simply been a fluke and maybe I didn’t deserve them. After booking a project, there would a crippling fear of being bad, or wrong in rehearsal; resulting in the fear of being found out as an untalented fraud and therefore unworthy to be there. And once the show was done, I wouldn’t feel a sense of pride for my accomplishments, but rather a sense of relief that I wasn’t found as to be a fraud — this time! And so the cycle begins again.
I believe my industry is a breeding ground for these types of concerns. Any actor could tell you how overly saturated and competitive our industry this. Sadly, this means that our successes, and failures, are easily translated into feelings of how one might “measure up” to the high standards. Since we ourselves are the product that is being judged — whether praised or rejected — these feelings can begin to feel very personal. And yet, to be able to work, one must be able push through the noise and trust ourselves in face of that adversity. It can be daunting.
Again, not claiming to be an expert, but I have learned a few things to help cope and quiet the inner voices of doubt while creating a career within this industry.
First, I have found talking about these feelings when they came up seem to lessen their intensity. It can get awful lonely carrying around feelings of insecurity, as they seem to multiply upon themselves if left unchecked. Confiding these fears and doubts with people you trust (and respect) can help distance yourself from believing them to be true. An honest conversation can quickly put things into perspective! And trust me, most people don’t give themselves enough credit, you are not alone there. Therefore, talking about it helps reduce these feelings for both yourself AND your confidant.
Next, resist the urge to compare yourself to others or their journeys! This is a hard one for me, and I am continually trying to remind myself to not to it. The “compare/despair” effect is real… the more you compare yourself to others, the more potential there is in believing they have it “better”. Instead, I have learned that celebrating their successes help elevate them, while also alleviating distress of making it about yourself. Consider this, while you look at someone vying for what they have, there are people wishing they had what you already have. Don’t lose perspective of that! We are all on our own journeys, and you are at a unique place in your own unique journey… which leads me to the next item.
It is important to celebrate YOUR successes! I feel that we are so focused on the big goal that we often don’t see the progress being made along the way. I have begun thinking of my career as a marathon. A few years ago I began training for my first marathon; it took months of conditioning… it required a concerted effort of prioritizing the training and daily/weekly runs. Some days, it wasn’t the most desired thing to do (early mornings, late nights, runs getting longer and requiring more time to complete, resulting in more recovery time afterwards) but every mile I ran, I got closer and closer to my goal — running hundreds, if not thousands, of miles before getting to Starting Line of the marathon. That is how I look at my career now, as a lot of persistent effort working towards a greater goal! So celebrate every run, every mile, every moment as your race towards your finish line!
It helps to remember that the word “career” refers to retrospective work; we don’t look at someone for the work the will do, but what they have already accomplished. Therefore, your career is a collection of small chronicled victories that amount to a larger canon.
Finally, celebrate and share your failures as well! This might seem counter intuitive but the more we normalize and honor the work we put into something, the more we can learn about ourselves and our collective community. By doing this, we demystify the process and effort we put into our work and career. We turn what seems like an outlier into a more realistic baseline.
This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I used to curate my social media to only share the wins in my life. This created a misleading message to the people around me as they began to believe that my life was made up exclusively of wins. I was often confronted by messages claiming that I was “lucky,” which inflated my imposter syndrome making me appear more successful than I felt. Yes, I am lucky (and grateful) but it’s not luck that granted these opportunities; they were the result of persistent hard work! And for every opportunity I successfully achieved, there were dozens of opportunities that didn’t manifest into anything. It was at that point I decided to broaden the content that I was sharing; it didn’t serve me to only be seen for my successes because that was only part of the story. I started sharing (and therefore celebrating) the smaller wins; remembering that getting an audition is a win (celebrate by sharing that), getting a callback is a win (celebrate that), feeling good about your audition but didn’t book… SHARE AND CELEBRATE THAT!
Once we start celebrated every step along the way, we begin to celebrate ourselves in and the work. In turn, if you are doing the work you are winning.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
My name is Jeff Deglow and I am actor.
Originally hailing from Canada, I have spent the majority of my career in the USA performing as stages across the country and have begun dialing my focus to on-camera work and opportunities.
I have been working on a full-length feature film, an international series and a few short films along the way. With a couple of those titles currently making their rounds in the Festival circuits, I recently garnering the honor of Best Overall Actor at a festival in Arizona. I also have a couple commercials airing in regional markets, as well as a national Samsung commercial coming out soon.
Therefore, keep your eye out for me, I’m EVERYWHERE!
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
A book which played a really important part in my development as an actor is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It is essentially a 12-week creativity course which inspires you to get closer to your creative-self. It was through this book that I was able to recognize that my creative side required attention and nurture to develop. It helped to identify areas that were blocked and invited a creative awareness to work through them. The book meets any artist where they are and elevates them higher to where they want to go. I highly recommend it to any Creative out there.
Contact Info:
- Website: jeffdeglow.com
- Instagram: @jeffdeglow
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu6GF91FGRlOc0WnEyHbvyw
