Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Jeff King. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Jeff, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I first encountered imposter syndrome early in my tenure as a church planter. My wife and I decided to form and new congregation in my home town in the fall of 1988.
I was under 30, with a big dream and hopes that I could make it work. While I had a Bachelor’s Degree in church ministry and several years of youth ministry experience, I had no formal training in church planting. Our denomination offered no workshops nor did they provide mentors for idealistic dreamers like me. They handed me a manual, provided modest financial assistance and promised thoughts and prayers.
The first challenge was finding a place to meet. Small towns don’t have a lot of options. I found a building that built to be a gas station and was most recently an ambulance barn. A few fellow believers joined our cause and helped paint and transform the work bay into a primitive sanctuary. We found a hodgepodge of folding chairs, placed an ad in the local newspaper announcing our first Sunday and opened the doors.
We had no idea if anyone would show up that first week. Twenty did.
Dreams of rapid growth never materialized. Our congregation consisted of around 25 people, including children. I noticed when I told people about our church, I felt embarrassed with our size, facilities and the fact that I had to work part-time jobs to help support my young family of four.
I began to measure my value and credibility on the size of Sunday morning attendance. I compared my congregation with bigger, more established churches. Deep down I feared I was an imposter, not a “real” pastor with a “real” congregation. I lived with a chronic sense that if my congregants found out that I really didn’t know what I was doing, there would be a mass exodus.
I had a classic case of imposter syndrome.
I attempted to remedy my imposter syndrome on church attendance. I set the bar of legitimacy on arbitrary numbers. If we could average 30 a Sunday for a whole month, then we would prove we belong.
Once we hit 30, the bar moved to 40. Then 50.
It dawned on me that my imposter syndrome wasn’t resolved by external circumstances. Pastors of large congregations feel as insecure as struggling church planters. Imposter syndrome is no respecter of college degrees, salary levels, job title or public accolade.
Overcoming my imposter syndrome consisted of a couple of steps.
First, I redefined my mindset of “success.” Better said, I redefined my sense of validation. I shifted from external validation to internal validation. Rather than basing my value and competency on attendance, approval ratings or other arbitrary standards, through a process of spiritual formation I embraced my intrinsic value of imago dei–“made in the image of God.”
My intrinsic value became the basis upon which I answered the universal human question, “What makes me valuable?” This answer comes in two pathways: 1) knowing we are unconditionally loved; and 2) knowing we have significance because we “are,” not because we “do.”
Second, I began to take action on this core belief. I realized that if truly believed that I am enough and have what it takes, then I needed to put this conviction to work.
I took intentional action to counter my “inner-doubter” whenever it began whispering that I was an imposter. I reminded myself of what was true. I recognized I had options of which story to believe–the old imposter syndrome story, or the truth of my intrinsic value. Over time, the bigger, truer story prevailed. Imposter syndrome will still stick its ugly head up once in a while, but I’m much quicker and more adept in recognizing it and dismissing it.
I developed my skills and honed craft. I went back to school and earned a Master’s degree. I expanded my philosophical and spiritual paradigm by learning from those outside my narrow community and culture. I tapped into the wisdom of the Enneagram to understand my unique personality structure, both its strengths and its liabilities.
Finally, I reasoned with my imposter syndrome. My inner-doubter often said things like, “Someone else could to this job better than you. You are not as talented or skilled as they are.” It dawned on me one day that, while it might be true that someone else could do it better and be more talented and skilled than I, “they” were not the one here in my position. I was the one who was hired. I was the one being called on to provide my services. No one else was going to show up if I bowed out or played small. I decided that as long as I was the one here, I just as well be as present as I possibly could be and play as big and hard as I possibly could.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a coach, trainer and consultant. My mission is to help people and organizations identify and overcome barriers that keep them from hope, happiness and wholeness. I am a companion to others in their pursuit of personal growth, spiritual formation, relationship effectiveness, and professional development.
I offer three main services to fulfill my mission. One, I am a Certified Enneagram Teacher (The Narrative Enneagram). I train and coach individuals, couples and organizations to apply the wisdom and power of the Enneagram in order to create personal and collective transformation. Training comes in the form of workshops and presentations for organizations, businesses and churches. Coaching is conducted individually, with couples and with leaders and leadership teams.
Two, I provide spiritual guidance for those seeking growth in their spiritual journey and resolving faith issues. As an ordained clergy, I provide a variety of pastoral services. My spiritual guidance and pastoral services are offered to all, regardless of sexual identity or faith tradition.
Three, I am a certified business consultant with TrustCentric. Our mission is to help businesses assess and strengthen the level of trust in their organization. Research is clear: trust is THE basic component that makes or breaks a business or organization. The higher the level of trust, the greater effectiveness and the higher the profit margin.
I provide these services under the umbrella of my nonprofit organization, Transmuto.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Most impactful for me have been applying the wisdom of the Enneagram, understanding Bowen Family Systems’ concept of “differentiation of self” and committing to a path of spiritual formation.
The Enneagram provides powerfully accurate insights into my personality structure. It helps me identify how my core fears and motivations. These direct how I work with my feelings, thoughts and behaviors in relationship with myself, others and the world at large. The Enneagram shines light on how my personality provides effective coping strategies, but also how those strategies become liabilities when they trap me. Applying these insights have provided significant growth in becoming more effective and integrated in my personal life, key relationships and vocation.
Bowens’ differentiation of self helps me recognize how I am impacted by the emotional influence of others, especially those closest to me. This has lead me to become much more self-validated than other-validated. With this core strength, I’ve grown to be more capable of standing on my own two feet rather than caving into others’ expectations (real or perceived), pursuing personal growth and developing a greater sense of personal agency. Combined with the Enneagram, differentiation of self has given me impetus to create career changes and develop my professional skills.
Commitment to a path of spiritual formation keeps me grounded with a greater sense of presence on a daily basis. It allows me to turn on my inner observer and be aware of my thoughts, feelings, self-defense mechanisms and become more proactive an intentional with my life.
Combined, these three skills have been crucial components for me to live more authentically and pursue the truest expression of who I have been created to be. This has opened up doors to experience rich relationships and vocational fulfillment.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
I have read many, many books that have made life-changing impacts in my development. But if I could trace it down to a seminal work it is James Fowler’s “Stages of Faith.”
While other works have advanced Fowler’s perspectives, reading Stages of Faith provided language for me to understand the evolution of faith I was undergoing in my early- to mid-40s. At the time I was serving as a pastor in a Protestant denomination that was fairly conservative and stipulated clearly defined dogmas that shaped its identity.
In my youth and the beginning of my pastoral career, I adhered closely to this closed system of theology. Questions were answered definitively. Mystery and paradox were nonexistent, or at least strongly discouraged. I felt secure in my positions.
However, I began noticing that life did not always work according to the promises made in our faith formulas. My parishioners lived with problems that clear adherence to faith propositions did not cure. Prayers often went unanswered. I began meeting people who had very different faith paradigms than mine, and yet they were loving, faithful and genuine.
Doubts and questions began surfacing in my own thoughts. Most came uninvited. Some came by expanding my repertoire of reading. My faith was changing, and I did not know what to do with it.
I really didn’t think I had permission to change.
This is when I came across Fowler’s Stages of Faith. Fowler outlines five distinct stages or containers that our understanding of faith fits in. While I’ve discovered that evolving and shifting faith often doesn’t fit even in Fowler’s categories, his work identified and explained the process I was undergoing.
More importantly, Fowler gave me permission to allow my faith to move through the normal, appropriate stages of development.
“Stages of Faith” catapulted me to explore other faith paradigms, both within the Christian narrative and outside. It introduced me to a journey of faith that continues to this day. Along the way, I’ve been introduced to many new friends, concepts and constructs. These include the Enneagram, spiritual formation, contemplation, inclusion, concern for the marginalized, social justice, to name a few.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.transmuto.org
- Instagram: transmutokc
- Facebook: Transmuto
- Linkedin: Jeff King
Image Credits
All my personal photos.
