We were lucky to catch up with Jeff Milstead recently and have shared our conversation below.
Jeff, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
I found my purpose through tragedy in our lives. That purpose is to try and foster simple acts of kindness that will make others smile. Some acts of kindness may be large or small, and most are intentionally never known at all.
I met Karen on November 29, 1987, the day after her 25th birthday. We married on May 21, 1988, 174 days after meeting on a blind date. Our daughter, Kerri, was born in March of 1990. Our son, Gary, was born in April of 1993. He was a “preemie” and spent two weeks in the NICU at Vanderbilt Hospital.
Later that summer, Karen noticed a knot on her throat. She was diagnosed with a tumor of her thyroid gland which was removed in October of 1993. It was found to be cancerous. We went on with our lives, believing that the surgery would be the only one.
Not to be.
In the winter of 1995, we noticed changes in Gary’s body and mannerisms. He began showing muscle mass – he looked like a University of Tennessee linebacker. His face broke out into acne and his energy level was through the roof. At the same time, Karen noticed a lump in her breast. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery in early January of 1996 and began chemotherapy later that month.
Our son’s pediatrician told us that he was going through “early puberty.” I didn’t buy it. I dove into research and found what I believed to be the cause of Gary’s situation. I believed he had a tumor somewhere in his body causing his body changes. At our urging (and outright demand), Gary was referred to Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, TN. He was given a CT scan under sedation. After the test, we remained in the waiting area for the neurologist to read the film. After a few minutes, a doctor ran into the room and asked for Gary. We pointed him up and the doctor picked him up and ran from the room, telling us to keep up.
We arrived at the Department of Pediatric Endocrinology at VUMC. I was able to watch the doctor put a portion of the film on the x-ray reader to show to the endocrinologist; I didn’t have to be told what the scan showed. I knew from my own research.
A tumor the size of a Christmas tree ball was growing inside our two-year-old’s boy. One of his adrenal glands was cancerous. We were told that this tumor had to come out – immediately.
Dr. Charles Morgan at Vanderbilt did the surgery. During a consultation with him, I told him that I wanted the best surgeon in the world for Gary, and if it wasn’t him, I wanted to know who to call. Dr. Morgan told me the surgery had been performed twice in the history of Vanderbilt – both times by him.
The morning of the surgery, my sister Phyllis met us at the hospital. In the early morning, I carried Gary and helped Karen across the street. She was so weakened by chemotherapy she could hardly walk. Phyllis had Kerri in tow with our bags. I had already decided I would not leave the hospital until Gary did.
Hours later, Dr. Morgan emerged from the operating room. He was covered in sweat and told us that he had just performed the most difficult surgery he would ever perform. The tumor was wound around a vein, and he had to peel it away, one layer at a time. The tumor itself was very unusual – it had characteristics of being both malignant and benign. Fortunately, Gary did not have chemotherapy.
Kerri was the real hero through all of this. She kept all of us going through the darkest times.
Karen and Gary underwent genetic testing. The results showed they had Li-Fraumeni Syndrome. When Karen asked the geneticist what that meant, his words were “I don’t know. I never heard of it until today.” In short, there is, in every cell in our bodies, a “switch” that turns itself on in the presence of cancer cells to fight the disease. The “switch” in their cells doesn’t work.
When Gary was ten, he had a small brain tumor. It was removed without further incident. I told him that the scar on his head was his “chick magnet” – all the prettiest girls in school lined up to see it! An interesting side note – his math and science scores soared off the charts. He was very restless in school and his teachers (none of who have a medical degree, by the way) told us that he had ADHD. Karen and I figured out that he was simply bored in school. Instead of giving him the third grade books, give him encyclopedias to read. While the other kids were struggling with their schoolwork, Gary was sitting at his desk with a huge reference book. He had never been happier!
Because so much had been done for us, I found a unique way to give to others. I became a platelet donor for the American Red Cross. As of my latest donation, I am over 61 gallons in donations. (You read that right – SIXTY-ONE GALLONS!) Because the Red Cross opened a center closer to our home, I do not have to drive to Nashville and can donate every two weeks – to a maximum of twenty-four donations a year.
I try to make the maximum number of donations per year. It is deeply personal to me. I have always wanted to be the able to help others in some way. I relate it this way – before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus’ sister told Jesus “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Were I to learn that a burn or cancer patient died because I didn’t do my donations, I could never live with myself. The Red Cross tells me where the donations end up. There are patients who received my platelets nationwide – from San Francisco to Norfolk Naval Medical Center in Virginia. Hopefully something in those platelets turned them into Tennessee Volunteers fans!
Following my retirement in 2022, I worked for The Journey Home, which helps the homeless with food, clothing and housing. I was made to realize how incredibly fortunate we are. To that end, we make almost-weekly trips to the resource center to deliver whatever is needed that week. It may be hand warmers. Canned food. Whatever it is, we provide. Karen and I made the decision to reduce our church contributions and put the funds into those who need it the most. There have been several times when I have administered first-aid to a homeless person from my own medical bag. Jesus said, “What you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.” I try so hard to be compassionate to those who are “less fortunate.” To me, providing a drink and chips to a person who is standing on the corner is not only about helping them – it helps me, too.
I try to make people smile whenever possible. To that end, I use my laser equipment to make items that I simply give away. No strings attached. Just take it and enjoy it.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Because of my experiences, and Karen’s, I have invented a device that will assist with pain management post-surgery. At Vanderbilt and the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center, both in Nashville, patients are given a cable with a button on the end that they may use to self-administer pain medications. Invariably that cable falls from the patient’s hand and becomes tangled in the IV lines or falls to the floor. When the patient needs it again, they have to call the nurse, who has to take their time to retrieve the cable – often multiple times. I have invented a way to keep the cable in the patient’s hand. My invention, “The Lessen-My-Pain-Glove, currently has Patent Pending status.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The quality I used the most was simple compassion to others. That quality led me to develop the medical device. I wanted to make pain management simple. I can’t stand to see another suffer, especially my family members. The skills and areas of knowledge were similar – I used my communication skills to communicate to a designer what I wanted in the product, and my writing skills to develop all of the information needed for the patent process.
For those early in the journey, surround yourself with the best people possible. Seek advice from those who know more than you. Research any company seeking your business or product to make sure the company is legitimate. Above all, there will be times when giving up seems to be the only option. Don’t do it. Use all your skills and inner strength to improvise, adapt and overcome.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I am looking for individuals or companies in the medical field to help me get this device onto the hands of every post-surgical patient. I already have the Patent Pending – I need someone with the experience in bringing a product to market. I can always be reached at [email protected].
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