We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jennifer Oak a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Jennifer , we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
About fifteen years ago I identified resilience as an important tool for living a contented life, and since that time I’ve intentionally worked to develop it as a skill and to model it for my family.
When my kids were young, our family went through a traumatic experience. As a product of the trauma, we endured years-long financial and emotional hardships. Additionally, through the experience, I was a single parent. With the suffering we endured, I wanted to be intentional in helping my children navigate the impacts that the experience would have on each of our lives.
At the time I wanted to be physically present for my children, so I went back to school (mostly virtual), and worked in my at-home studio as an artist. School offered affordable childcare, and a feeling of working toward a goal. As a student, I wasn’t exactly sure what my plan was, but my goal was to gain skills and knowledge that would help me secure a job where I could financially support my family.
As an artist, I had no money for supplies, but with little bits of money, donated art supplies by friends, and using whatever I had around me, I created small artworks that I would share and sell at art events. More than anything, art provided a solace in the everyday stressors of life. It was something I did whenever I had free time, and it demonstrated the importance of self-expression as a life skill. Often my youngest daughter would sit at her little table in my studio and make art right along with me. My children to this day find my artmaking to be a comforting reminder of the good parts of their childhood.
I quickly learned in my classes that everything is interconnected, and school was a place to learn about how to best build the life I wanted for my family. I gleaned tools in all of my classes, from philosophy, art history, psychology and even math. I think it may have been a psychology class where resilience first caught my attention. I’m sure it was my place in life at the time, but I was always in search of tools to help my family, and though a spark of curiosity, I began a deep focus on the importance of resilience.
It’s been so long since I created the intention to build resilience, and looking back I see now that I am, and each of my children are, resilient. It’s something we’re so practiced at, that it’s unnoticeable, but ever-present. It’s like driving a car for the first time. It seems overwhelming to remember all the things—maintaining speed, checking the rearview mirrors and blind spots, managing directions, watching for signs, and driving defensively—but after some practice, all the things happen naturally, with ease. Building resilience is like that. There are subtle practices and behaviors that I’ve intentionally developed to build resilience and have become second nature at some point.
Some of the practices for strengthening resilience are:
Therapy – I’ve found talk & EMDR therapy to be particularly helpful
Good sleep – For me, a less tired mind seems to have more emotional bandwidth
Balanced eating – A combo of healthy eating & treating myself (like cookies) works for me
Exercise & walking – A walk is mind-settling and a good place for heavy conversations
Yoga & meditation – Helpfully unites my mind & body & a spiritual practice
Reading – I specifically like uplifting fiction, or non-fiction that sparks curiosity
Journaling – I’m dedicated to writing daily “morning pages”; it helps clear mind junk
Connecting with others – Building positive community is essential and supportive
Helping others – Serving others expands my perspective
Fresh air & nature – Nature reminds me of life cycles and that everything is temporary
Reflecting on past trials – Reminds me I’ve survived all past trials and have grown
Accepting failure – Failure is inevitable and teaches the most efficient life lessons
Fostering curiosity – Helps me remain objective and not anxious over things I can’t control
Art – Artmaking is the friend who’s there for me when I need them most. Art doesn’t judge. I can express myself in any way I want, and sometimes the most beautiful art I make comes from the most painful periods of time. It’s optimistic and gives me hope.
There are a few important practices I’d like to note as a parent who has intentionally worked to foster resilience in my family. Observing (foreseeable) mistakes and allowing my kids to fail and experience natural consequences has been an important part of my parenting philosophy. It’s helped them to practice making life mistakes and moving on. Additionally, I find it important to not always say “yes” to everything. It’s helped my kids to practice delayed gratification and to be content with what you have. And the most impactful thing I can do as a parent is to be consistent in MY behavior—in doing what I say and saying what I do.
When I think of resilience, it reminds me of a dark time in my family’s history, where I set an intention to help us all navigate life’s trials. My children are now all resilient adults, who are self-evaluating and compassionate people creating their own toolboxes to navigate their life trials while pursuing their respective dreams. As for me, I’m resilient. Resiliency allows me to be the person I wish to be. It allows me to navigate the world (literally), and it allows me to dream big. Resiliency allows me to bounce back after difficulty, and even now as I write this, my family is going through a tough time. I know that the resilience we’ve fostered will help each of us get through, and it’s resilience that allows me to continue to flourish, even when it’s dark.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m a process-focused fine artist creating vibrant and energetic paintings to connect with people emotionally. I began process painting in 2020 and it’s impacted my life so positively that I now facilitate process art sessions for others to enjoy the benefits too.
I’ve spent the last several years intentionally curating a creative life for myself. A lot of my life’s drive and inspiration come from things learned through my process painting practice. Since 2020 I’ve focused on the process of painting, in a desire to find more authenticity in my artwork. It can be challenging to remain authentic when you’re considering the end product, art shows, buyers and sales, while painting. I gave myself permission to paint for the sake of painting, and to use whatever colors, materials, and tools that I felt like using.
Practicing being free, sitting with the discomfort of the unknown, following what feels right intuitively, and never knowing where a painting is going at any step of the way, has transferred impactfully to other areas of my life. A little less than two years ago, I learned there is a term for this type of painting, called process painting. I found a mentor and educated myself more formally so I could share the benefits with others and facilitate process painting sessions out of my studio. It is the thing I’m most passionate about. It’s been a life-changing practice for me, and I feel like it’s my purpose to lead others through their process painting practice.
I work out of an art studio, called stilig studio, that I own and operate, located in a charming historical town called Snohomish, Washington. The studio is meant to be a space of creative tranquility. My fine art studio is located there, as well as an art session studio, where I lead my process painting sessions, art workshops, and Ladies’ Night events. Additionally, I open the studio to host local artists for our monthly town’s art walk, which is in partnership with Snohomish Art Community, a non-profit art organization that I co-founded.
I’m dedicated to living a creative life and holding space for the art community that has become so essential to me and others in the area. Now, more than ever, it’s important to have a safe place where people can come together over art, and I believe that when we’re authentically expressing ourselves it strengthens our ability to manage difficult times, and support others who may need it.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
There are so many skills and qualities essential to my journey, but three solid standouts are:
• Fostering resilience
• Creating community resources
• Taking things one step at a time
Fostering resilience builds confidence. When you know you can handle anything that life has in store—good or bad—resilience offers the ability to continue to grow and flourish, even during life’s trials.
Creating community resources, like friends, family, and mentors/mentees can help to reach your goals, execute creative projects, and connect socially, and emotionally. When you know there are people you can count on and learn from, it makes it easier to dream big.
Taking the journey, one step at a time. Looking at a lofty goal and what it might take to achieve it can be very overwhelming, especially when managing lots of life’s components simultaneously. Just doing the next thing on the list (lists are helpful too), feels more tranquil as you gently make moves forward. A lot of ground is covered when you keep moving, even if it’s slow, and it becomes apparent later when looking back at how far you’ve moved.
Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?
For me, I think it’s best to focus on my strengths as a practice until they become second nature. Those strengths become foundational, and then I’m able to work on other areas of improvement. Then those areas of improvement become strengths that become second nature. As this is happening, the next area of improvement presents an opportunity to work on building it as a strength, one step at a time, and the cycle repeats itself…
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.joakart.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joak_art/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joak.art.5
Image Credits
All photos are mine, except the photo of me in front of the utility box was taken by Tatiana Weiss.
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
