Meet Jennifer Paweleck-Bellingrodt, Psy.D.

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jennifer Paweleck-Bellingrodt, Psy.D. a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jennifer, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

I decided to get out of my own damn way! It happened at a pivotal moment in my military career when an insult resulted in a breakthrough that changed my life.

Confidence is a conscious concept related to mindset, while self-esteem is a subconscious concept related to your paradigm, your M.O., your way of viewing the world. When I took that hit in my 20s that made me question my career choice, I dug in and figured out the self-limiting beliefs in my subconscious mind that drove me to own what she said for a time. That situation could’ve gone either way for me: I could’ve decided she was right and given up my psychology career right then and there, and I wouldn’t have written two books, hosted my own podcast or helped thousands of people in my lifetime thus far. Fortunately, I’m stubborn as hell, so instead, I dug deep into my conviction about who God created me to be and what he called me to do, told the devil and his self-limiting beliefs to pound sand and cultivated enough cognitive dissonance between MY beliefs and HER thoughts that I was able to say to her in my mind, “Hold my beer.”

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

As a psychologist for over 20 years, I can honestly say that I’ve learned just as much about myself as I have about others! I’ve learned what works for me in terms of being my most authentic self as a practitioner and what patients are most likely to respond to in treatment. In my practice, it’s very important that people feel connected to the process of therapy and me as their therapist. I’ve learned that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea because of my direct, accountable approach; and that’s okay.

Professionally, I’m proud of serving thousands of people in my career so far. I’m excited about being able to see people from all over the country now as well. I also have a podcast, The Psych with a Mic, that has now reached 14 countries across 6 continents. Furthermore, I now have a training platform, www.thepsychoeducationacademy.com, through which I offer online courses on mental health to people all over the world. In this life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional, and I now offer multiple ways for people to stop suffering and live healthier and happier lives.

I get most excited about working with people with personality disorders. These patients are often very unhappy and dissatisfied in their lives and frequently are near the point of losing hope that they can get better and live life differently. They generally have significant interpersonal issues, which means they don’t have the social support that helps guard against psychological distress. I love being able to show them that there’s a different way, that they can offset maladaptive patterns and change their cycle of thought-feeling-behavior to live a more fulfilling, less tumultuous life, regardless of how long they’ve been doing it their way or how traumatic the road was that landed them there in the first place.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

The number one ingredient for success is enthusiasm. It drives everything from thoughts to feelings to behaviors. It’s comprised of excitement, eagerness and energy, what I call the Power Trio of Enthusiasm. It comes from figuring out what you love, cultivating skills and acquiring knowledge to get good at it and then monetizing it. To discern this, you have to evaluate what you enjoy doing, what you might already be good at. If you’re not sure, think about what others have commented in terms of their observations of you and your skill set, where you shine. Think about what you wouldn’t mind doing every day for the next several decades of your life.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

Two things: (1) Get moving and (2) get organized. Recently, I took a professional hit from a colleague of many years whom I thought was also a friend. I was devastated. My nervous system was overloaded, and my negative emotionality was high. I wanted to change the state I was in because it was uncomfortable. I got on the treadmill with my laptop and started writing out my feelings. Before I knew it, I had written 6,000 words on overcoming betrayal, which is the basis for my upcoming book, The Betrayal Breakthrough: Transforming Pain into Power. The physical outlet of walking down-regulated my nervous system, and the writing helped to organize my thoughts and feelings, like making a to-do list helps manage all the things vs. trying to hold all of the tasks in your brain and getting frustrated when you forget or miss things.

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