We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jenny Bader. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jenny below.
Jenny, thank you so much for agreeing to talk with us about a deeply personal and sensitive topic. Postpartum depression affects so many in the community and hearing from someone who has overcome PPD might help someone who is going through it right now. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience
At the age of 35, I struggled with PPD. I was only 3 months pregnant with my second child and feeling like a terrible person because I wasn’t that glowing, expectant mom. My battle continued for the next 6 years, in varying stages of PPD and anxiety. It was the loneliest, scariest place I have ever been and the hardest thing I have ever endured. Although I am on the other side of PPD, I don’t know that I can ever fully heal from it.
It has left me with so much guilt-for not enjoying my pregnancy, guilt of not being able to fully connect with my baby, guilt because I can’t remember the best years of my kids’ lives and guilt for feeling like my oldest son got the better Mom. I had guilt of yelling too much because the emotions and voices inside my head were more than I could bare, guilt of not being a good wife, feeling like I was a burden to my loved ones and friends, guilt for sleeping too much and not wanting to get out of bed. I had guilt for finding comfort in unhealthy ways to make the intrusive thoughts stop, guilt for gaining too much weight because I had no energy to care for my kids-let alone myself. I had guilt for letting my business suffer, guilt and anxiety that stemmed from all the terrible thoughts that weren’t my own, guilt for wishing I could have just died so the sadness, loneliness and hate for myself could just stop. With the right meds and lots of counseling, I have learned that this doesn’t have to defy me or the rest of my life. It isn’t the end of my story. In fact, it is just the beginning!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
During the thick of my battle, I found comfort and strength in designing my jewelry. It helped me remind myself daily that I am strong and could survive this. I would take many pieces from all different medias (some broken or unloved on their own- just like I felt at the time) and combine them into something new, beautiful and loved (how I wanted to feel and believed I could again).
It started by just making a piece for myself to wear daily to remind myself I was NOT broken, that I would survive and transitioned to people wanting me to make pieces for them. After a few requests, I decided that I was going to use my jewelry line of 14 years to bring awareness to post-partum depression, anxiety and the struggles we face as women and new moms. From this, my Build Your Own Necklace and Bracelet Bar was born. I decided if I could help one person to tell their story while letting them know they are not alone, that their feelings are valid and to not give up, then I will have served my new purpose.
Through my struggle with PPD has also come a struggle with my weight and suddenly jewelry didn’t fit me the same. It no longer gave me the feel good feeling it once did. I decided to change my designs to have nontraditional lengths so I could wear them and love jewelry again. From there I discovered a hole in the jewelry market and found it wasn’t just me that felt this way. It’s hard to find a necklace that is long enough for a nonstandard sized neck and one that doesn’t bounce on our chests awkwardly when we walk or a bracelet that fits comfortably on our wrists. All of these are easy fixes for me to offer- and why stop there? I want to give boutiques a chance to offer size inclusive jewelry to their communities as well and I am working on adding wholesale to my business as we speak.
I believe jewelry is like a chapter of life and our purpose is ever evolving. I want to give all women a way to tell their stories and to embrace their journey. Through Jenica Jewelry, I want to show that from all things come possibilities that are endless-by creating jewelry that builds a community, lifts up one another, helps us feel confident, loved, heard, and supported along the way.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The first thing I learned from my journey is to trust the baby steps. The big picture of who I want to be and where I want to go is so overwhelming. The depression and anxiety made it hard to believe that baby steps would ever be enough. I felt I had too much to overcome but with regular counseling, I started seeing the baby steps do make a difference. I started celebrating each one no matter the size. Sometimes it is as simple as just getting out of bed, to as big as being vulnerable in an interview in hopes that my story will encourage others to do the same.
The second thing I learned was to stop living in the past and all I wanted my life to be. I had all these grand ideas of what my life would be at 41. Needless to say, it is NOWHERE close to what I had envisioned. When I first got diagnosed with PPD and anxiety, I felt like it was the end. That I would forever have this label of being broken and that all my hopes and dreams were gone. I lived in the guilt of my current state and longed for my old self back. I finally realized I was never going to be that person again-that my struggles didn’t define my future and that who I am now deserved forgiveness and compassion. I feel stronger and even more determined that my future can be even better than I dreamt if I am open to the possibilities.
The third thing I learned was to stop people pleasing and to just be me. I was striving for everyone’s (and I mean EVERYONE’S) acceptance and the need to please. This trait mixed with my darker times truly paralyzed me and my business. With some deep soul searching and lots of counseling, I have learned it’s healthy to say no and to put myself and dreams first when needed. Setting this boundary has actually made me a better person, mom, wife, friend, daughter and business owner and allows me to actually enjoy and live my life to the fullest.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
There are many I would love to work with. To list a few would be women who love jewelry, a boutique or bridal boutique looking for new jewelry to carry, photoshoot collaborations, or anyone working to bring awareness to Post Partum Depression and anxiety.
I am always looking for and love collaborations! They help me grow as a person, creative and business owner.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.jenicajewelry.com
- Instagram: @jenicajewelry
- Facebook: @jenicajewelry
Image Credits
Creative Direction and Professional Styling Kat Minks Design @katminks Adore Magazine @adore.mag Photography Mariah Mac Photography @mariahmacphotography Styling Assist @gigiamal Bear Buns Closet @bearbunscloset Hair & Makeup Kevin Koehler @greynorbeauty Models @maggie.Sobraski Painted Jackets & fringe jeans Kat Minks Design @katminks Bridal Boutique : Effies Bridal Trunk @effiesbridaltrunk @watters Venues: Prince Music Company @princemusiccompany Westin Edina Galleria @westinedinagalleria
