Meet Jess Adam

We were lucky to catch up with Jess Adam recently and have shared our conversation below.

Jess, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

The short answer: my dog.

Over a decade ago, I brought home a dog I truthfully didn’t want. All this time later, he has turned out to be one of the biggest challenges and biggest blessings of my life, all at the same time. He came with anxiety and behavioral issues that I had no idea how to navigate, which frequently left me in tears and unsure if I could keep him.

As I got to know him and finally found trainers to help us, I learned that so much of what I found to be “difficult” about my dog was stemming from his anxiety – and my own. But he was still showing up for me every day – doing everything I asked of him and more – despite his anxiety and frustration at living in a world that wasn’t designed for a sensitive dog (or for sensitive people). I realized I had to learn how to show up for him in return.

While we worked on training, I began to also work on me – something I was not doing at all. I mindfully and intentionally applied the skills and tools I taught my clients every day as a therapist to our training journey and it began to make all the difference. My mindset became more helpful and accurate. My emotions became more manageable. My training efforts became more consistent. I began to finally enjoy life with my dog, even when there were challenges.

It turns out, just because I KNEW these tools didn’t mean I was using them. My dog encouraged me to do just that — to really apply the self-care and emotional wellbeing knowledge I had to our life together so I could learn to bounce back from the setbacks in our training journey.

Practicing all of that with him meant that I was also practicing a solid set of skills to bounce back from the setbacks I’d go on to have throughout the rest of my life, too. My dog, the lessons he taught me, and the resilience I have developed because of him have held me up through divorce, loss, and all the life curveballs I never could have imagined. I couldn’t be more grateful to have ended up with a challenging, sensitive, anxious, wonderful, perfectly imperfect dog.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I created Handlers & Humans based on my own experiences with my dog Dio. As I worked on training with him, I felt so isolated and emotionally overwhelmed. I felt like I was the only one who had a difficult dog, but also that I was the only one so deeply impacted by it. Everyone around me seemed to say “it’s just a dog” — but he was so much more.

I began to blend my lived experience as a dog owner with my background and training in the mental health field in order to help others feel less alone and offer tools for other dog owners to “cope with their canine.”

I truly believe that dogs are only helped through humans — but that humans need a lot more support with their dogs than just training. Handlers & Humans aims to bring mental health to the dog world through support groups, individual coaching, and educational programs all designed to offer encouragement and skills as people navigate living with and training difficult dogs. I have seen time and time again that when a dog owner or dog trainer feels supported, they’re better equipped to support dogs.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

First, I used what I had. Like I said, I taught people in therapy every day to cope more effectively with the stressors in their lives but I was simply not applying the same principles to my own life. I had knowledge, resources, and support to lean on — but I wasn’t leaning on it! Identify and use the internal and external strengths you already have to build resilience.

Second, I worked hard on finding joy in the journey. Things were really difficult with Dio for a long time — and I often had to intentionally create opportunities for joy, fun, and connection with him because they weren’t happening organically. Everyone gets a dog thinking that joy and connection will just come naturally, but sometimes they won’t. The same is true for life sometimes. Schedule time for these things, and they’ll start to show up more organically on their own over time!

Third, I set it down when I needed to. Sometimes I really did need a break from trying to fix everything with my dog, or from the really stressful behaviors he was showing. I allowed myself to take those breaks and to really sink into them — whether it was an afternoon or a week off of training. I was relentless about my goals with him, but that didn’t mean I didn’t take time for me when I needed to.

How would you describe your ideal client?

My ideal client is a dog lover of any kind (owner, trainer, groomer, walker, rescuer, fosterer, you name it) who wants to heal alongside their dogs. Every client I’ve worked with over the past few years has had their dog shine a spotlight on something they need to heal in other areas of their lives as well. When they begin to do this inner work for their dogs’ sake, they see so much more transform for them as well. I truly believe our dogs can offer us lessons and growth that we won’t find within any other relationship, and it is one of the most beautiful (and difficult!) things about life with them. If any of this resonates with you, I’d be honored to be a part of your journey with your dog.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.handlersandhumans.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handlersandhumans

Image Credits

Schwenig Photography