Meet Jessica Dueñas

We recently connected with Jessica Dueñas and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jessica, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

Confidence is not something I was born with; in fact, I was socialized not to have it. As a little girl with a complicated relationship with food, the message I received from both home and society was that I would only be acceptable if I was thin. This set me on an eternal fight with my body, a constant tug of war to change it.

As a young woman, I went to the extreme of having weight loss surgery, hoping it would finally build my self-esteem. I believed that fitting into the societal box of acceptability would grant me the confidence I needed to navigate life effortlessly.

The reality was different. Food had been my comfort, and after the surgery, I turned to alcohol as my main source of escape from daily stressors. My body changed, but I hadn’t done the internal work to believe I was worthy. Even after losing weight, I remained trapped in a mindset of not being good enough. This led me to settle for unhealthy romantic relationships with partners who didn’t contribute positively to my life.

The shame around my worsening addiction to alcohol kept me silent and further affirmed the false belief that I wasn’t enough. Despite earning accolades like being named the 2019 Kentucky State Teacher of the Year and Woman of the Year in the Louisville community, those honors meant nothing when I looked in the mirror.

My confidence and self-esteem only began to blossom when I had the courage to let myself be seen fully, as a woman with a secret battle with alcohol who no longer cared what others thought of her. Speaking vulnerably about my addiction helped me seek the resources I needed to get and stay sober. It also gave me the confidence to do what I never dared to do before: walk away—from jobs, people, and any space where I didn’t belong. I finally understood that if a situation or person was not a good fit for me, I didn’t need to force it to work, just as I didn’t need to force my body into a shape that didn’t belong to it. The old narratives lost their power once I had the clarity of an unclouded mind.

Embracing my recovery from addiction fully set the foundation for my confidence and self-esteem to flourish.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I specialize in guiding people through their recovery journeys using the power of storytelling. In my coaching sessions, we delve into the narrative you’ve been living by, helping you to rewrite and reshape it to better navigate life in recovery and take meaningful action.

I offer a range of courses, including book studies and writing classes, designed to deepen your understanding of your own story. When you write with me, we explore your personal narrative to uncover insights and growth. When you read with me, we work together to make sense of your experiences and how they shape your story.

Beyond individual coaching and courses, I provide professional development opportunities focused on wellness for organizations. Additionally, I work full-time as a college educator, integrating my passion for storytelling and recovery into both my teaching and coaching practices. I am also a meeting leader for The Luckiest Club.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Empathy, resilience, and authenticity are the cornerstones of my journey.

My deep connection with others’ experiences and emotions has enabled me to offer compassionate support and understanding. Through my own struggles with addiction and recovery, I’ve developed a profound empathy that allows me to relate to and guide those navigating their sobriety.

Resilience has been crucial in overcoming addiction and rebuilding my life. Despite numerous challenges and setbacks, I’ve learned to persevere and never give up, no matter what obstacles arise.

Lastly, my commitment to sharing my personal struggles and triumphs with honesty and vulnerability fosters trust and openness. This authenticity creates a supportive environment where others can explore their own recovery journeys, assured that they are valued and understood by someone who truly connects with their experiences.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

When people first embark on their sobriety journey, they often reach for Quit Lit texts, memoirs of those who have conquered addiction, or the classic Big Book from Alcoholics Anonymous. For me, however, it was a different book that made a profound impact on my recovery: Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking peace in their life.

While the book outlines four agreements, the two that have most significantly influenced my journey are: (1) Don’t take anything personally and (2) Don’t make assumptions. The insights offered in these chapters are crucial in understanding how we contribute to our own misery and how we hold the power to achieve our own serenity. By learning to control the narratives I tell myself and my reactions to others’ behaviors, I found a sense of freedom that was pivotal in my recovery from addiction.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.bottomlesstosober.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaduenas24/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.duenas
• Other: Podcast, Bottomless to Sober: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jessica-dueas3

Image Credits

Jessica Dueñas