Meet Jewel Hohman

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jewel Hohman a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jewel, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with us today. We’re excited to dive into your story and your work, but first let’s start with a broader topic that might be stopping many of our readers from pursuing their dreams – haters, nay-sayers, etc. How have you managed to persist despite haters and nay-sayers that inevitably follow folks who are doing something unique, special or off the beaten path?
When I started my coaching business, I found out my ex’s friends were making fun of me and of course, it hurt (rejection is supposed to hurt)…… but it was just another example of how feeling rejected didn’t stop me from showing up EVEN BOLDER in my life! ㅤ Because when I found out they were making fun of me, I got to have this magical moment where I held myself in the feeling, embraced myself, and felt even more connected to myself. I launched my first in-person workshop the week after I found out these people were making fun of me! Just to give ’em something else to talk about! This is how I have dealt with all the haters and nay-sayers. People have told me I was too young, that no one would take me seriously, and even that I was a joke. But all of those rejections have just made me bolder in my business because of how I treat myself! Now, I will say, two things that contribute to me having my back with my coaching business specifically are: 1) I provide amazing service and 2) I am willing to take feedback! I provide amazing service where clients get video modules, worksheets, coaching sessions, and in-between session support. I charge clients using a sliding scale because someone making 35k isn’t paying the same as someone making 150k. I provide all of my coaching and teachings through a trauma-informed and evidence-based lens. I have a degree in psychology and sociology and I am getting my master’s in social work; I know how to look for evidence-based practices and read research! Therefore, my clients are getting top notch service all the way around. I deeply believe this why so many of my clients are so happy with their experience and the results they get! I also want to differentiate between a nay-sayer and someone giving feedback. A naysayer is someone judging to tear me down without much understanding or insight into how the service works. Someone giving feedback that has an understanding of my service or has been through it, and they are giving constructive criticism to make the service even better. It is easier to deal with nay-sayers when you know how to listen to people to make the service even better, and when you know that the service you are providing is top notch!

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
The majority of my life I felt like I could be kind of charming but I was just always lacking. I didn’t feel funny enough. I didn’t feel interesting enough. I never felt like I got it quite right in social situations. I always had friends and people around me but deep down I felt really lonely. So, I worked with tons of therapists that helped me heal a lot of trauma and then I worked with a coach. This coach helped me in a very tangible way. My coach helped me practice things to increase my self-confidence and helped me be there for myself when I was feeling hard emotions. My coach helped me embrace myself! I did bold things. I lived out of my car for almost a year- drove around the country by myself. I spoke up. I laughed more often. I said the hard, vulnerable things to others. People didn’t recognize me when I went places! They would say “how did you become so confident all of a sudden?”. Once I felt more self-confident, I became obsessed with learning about the science of meaningful connection. I really owe Shasta Nelson so much because she was the first person who put a ton of friendship research together! The more I learned about the science of connection, the more I thought “people have to know this.” When my friend group started to grow apart, I knew exactly what to do because of all my time researching friendship. Applying the science, I created the friend group of my DREAMS in the middle of the pandemic! People kept asking me how I did it! I saw such a need for friendship and connection coaching, so I went all in and that is what I have been doing since! Now I help people create self-confidence and meaningful friendships through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and retreats! I love it.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
There are two qualities that really come to mind. One, I am really connected to myself and my emotions. I know how to compassionately manage my emotions. Fear, doubt, overwhelm don’t dictate how I work in my business! When you manage your emotions, you can use your time effectively and get things done, you can focus on the priorities, you can take the bold and brave and big action. I’m also connected to myself as far as how I want to do business! I operate my business from my values, capacity, and desires. And two, I’m really connected to my client. I really listen to what my clients want. I spent over 2 years compiling things that my clients were struggling with and things that my clients really wanted, and then I focused on researching my client’s struggles and desires to best help them. For example, a lot of my clients struggle with overthinking social situations. They come away from a social situation and they’re over analyzing everything- such as “oh my gosh does this person like me” or “did i say that in a weird way”. Overthinking social interactions was a habit for a lot of my clients and so I created the Social Aftercare Framework. The Social Aftercare Framework helps clients interrupt the habit of overthinking, feel connected and at peace after social events, and do it all in a way that is tailored to them. My clients love the Social Aftercare Framework and I created it after hours of listening to what they really wanted and needed. Even to this day, I do a lot of market research, where I really listen to my audience and what is important to them. I don’t think I would be as successful as I am without this.

What has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
One of my biggest struggles along the way was social perfectionism. I aimed to be perfect in social settings, interpreting people’s ambiguous expressions—facial expressions, looks, small comments—as indications that I wasn’t fun or interesting enough. When I began embracing my social imperfections and accepting myself, my confidence grew dramatically. I started showing up more, sharing vulnerable stories, and putting myself out there. I reached for opportunities, tried new things, and found my own voice in my messaging. Despite facing rejection repeatedly, I also witnessed massive growth in my business because of my willingness to be imperfect. Treating myself lovingly when rejected or embarrassed allowed me to keep putting myself out there without making other people’s reactions to me my problem. This freedom to be myself played a pivotal role in the massive growth of my business. Another obstacle I encountered was the struggle to determine the “right way” to conduct business. Numerous voices insisted on “this is the way to do it” or “you have to do this to be successful.” Trying to figure out the “right” way to grow my business left me confused, overwhelmed, and hindered action. However, when I truly connected with how I wanted to do business, taking action became much easier. Understanding how I wanted to conduct business provided clarity and empowerment. Armed with a clear vision of what I wanted for my business, I found it easier to identify mentors who reflected my values and desires.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Madeline Keller, Madeline Auberle, Photowalk Nashville

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