We recently connected with Jillian Goods and have shared our conversation below.
Jillian, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
When I really think about it I guess I have persisted with music for about 7 years. It doesn’t always feel like I’m persisting. I’ve had a breakdown or so in my life and they’re not ever really well timed. They happen whenever it’s least convenient. I definitely don’t feel like I’m persisting when that’s happening. I think in a way working allows me to bury things. I do my best to make myself busy when I’m not feeling well. I at least will create the illusion of being productive, which is telling myself how busy I am and how much I have to get done and creating space to do the things I want/need to do but not actually doing them. Instead I’ll reload my email a bunch and make a lot of to do lists and kind of procrastinate slowly through the list which never fails to stay full of things to do. None of that is to be taken as a piece of advice. After doing this for a while things surface. They will overflow. I definitely can hold some things down for a really long time. Within the past few years a lot of things happened in a short period of time and I didn’t grant myself the time or space to deal with them. Now I’m doing that. I feel like I don’t really have much of a choice at this point. It’s necessary if I want to grow, and I do. I don’t want to stay stagnant and continue to hold my emotions down and never allow myself to process. So I’m in therapy, I’m staying in one spot for a while (which is hard for me for those who don’t know me well), I’m doing yoga every day, I’m crying a lot, I’m organizing my resources, and I’m making a lot of art. I do have the luxury of having a career which requires me to turn emotions into music. Something painful can be turned into something beautiful. Writing music helps me process emotions. At the same time, some of the hardest times I’ve had were when I was feeling really down and I had to perform. I had to entertain and meet expectations when I felt like I wanted to run away from everyone and cry by myself. I’ve rarely been told that anyone can notice how uneasy I actually am, but sometimes you perform songs so many times that you can do them while thinking of something totally different. It becomes muscle memory to just go with it and act ok. Sometimes a song comes up that you’re feeling so much that you have an extreme emotional reaction and decide not to play that song again for a while. You’re up on stage through all of this and people are looking at you. It can feel like a lot of pressure. I just do the show to the best of my ability and do my best with embracing how I’m feeling instead of fighting it. If I’m really down and I’m playing a solo show sometimes the shows will be a little down tempo. Taking a breath is helpful, since when I’m nervous sometimes I hold my breath and that’s not good for singing, or really much of anything. I think the reason I persist is because I don’t know how to live without playing music at this point. It’s my lifestyle. It’s one of the ways I cope. I happen to be good enough at it that I can get up and perform in front of people, so that’s cool. I don’t really know why I should ever want to give that up. I’ve had some of the best highs of my life playing on stage in front of an energized audience, just scattered with some low lows. When I get into my time management and business side of things I definitely think that’s where I persist actively. I have to force myself to do things sometimes, which means saying no to absolutely everything, even though I definitely did have time for it, but I took so long doing other things that weren’t as important, yet made me feel productive enough to ignore the fact that I haven’t started the prioritized task. I’m laughing at myself writing this out because it sounds so ridiculous and not efficient. I think I just really understand that if I want to play on stages and perform it’s necessary to talk to bookers, to set my price, know my worth, and to have easy access to an EPK. So much of it makes me nervous, but I do it and I don’t always do a great job. I don’t always do it the best or most efficient way, but I do it unless I realize I really can’t and I need to ask for help, which is a whole different ballgame. I’ve been historically bad at asking for help, but I’m not a photographer, a drummer, a bass player, a sound engineer, or my own personal therapist. It’s necessary to ask for help. Do what you can for yourself but don’t kill yourself doing it. There are a bunch of people around you who can professionally do and enjoy doing the things you’re dreading. I’m still working on most of these things.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m a musician, and it’s great. The J. Goods Experience is a collective of musicians. It’s not just one band. I wanted to start a band, but I was finding it hard to have everyone available for the shows I was being offered. Most musicians I know are in multiple different projects. I like to travel solo and meet musicians along the way. So I decided I would just have a lineup, and then a bunch of subs, and leave some of the music I make open enough to improvise. I didn’t want to start a new band with a new name every time I moved somewhere new. I don’t want to only have my name listed either if I’m playing with other people. A lot of the music I write isn’t complicated for a musician who knows what they’re doing. It’s only a few chords. I’m not really well trained on music theory or anything. I just use my ear mostly. I make charts. I find the best musicians I can find and I direct them through a binder of chord charts and keep it all together. It’s an experiment. It’s playful and exciting. So, yea, The J. Goods Experience is me fronting a band. I’m the consistent factor. I do have people I call first, the ones you’ll see me play with the most, and my preferences for instrumental accompaniment. It’s cool too because I can curate for different environments. I always list on my flyers/posts who is playing with me when I have shows. I’ve also had different feedback on which version of The J. Goods Experience is the best, so keep an eye out for a familiar name when you really dig a flavor of The J. Goods Experience.
I have some events coming up that I’m really excited about. I wanted to create something to support women getting up on stage. Whether we like it or not, the music industry is male dominated as are a lot of things. Sometimes it feels like every band you’ve seen for months is all dudes. I’m never trying to discourage anyone from playing music! I just want more women. I want to play music with more women. I want to hear from more women and get to know all the awesome creative women musicians in my area. So, I’m starting an event called Summit Sirens which is going to be a women’s songwriter showcase and open mic once a month at RMU in Breckenridge, CO. One of the photos here is the flyer template for the event! I’ll have the dates on the scroll and the names of the musicians who are playing for each month on there.
So far we’ve scheduled Dec 17, Jan 21, Feb 18, March 24 from 7-10. Our first show will be featuring me opening with 2 original songs, then some original music by Kathleen Rose and Niya of Liquid Animal who both have 20 minute sets.. The rest of the time will be filled by people who want to do original music but don’t want to do a full 20 minutes (15 minutes max, sign up list started on date of event). If we have more time we will get some women up there who just want to play whatever they want, original or cover, also for max 15 minutes (depending on how many people are signed up).
Contact me via email if you are interested in being a featured artist! [email protected]
Otherwise I have my calendar on my website: the-goods-experience.com
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
If you really want to learn an instrument you gotta have a bit of resilience. Get an instrument that feels good to you. For guitar, try a bunch and see what sounds nice or feels nice. It’s easier to learn on an instrument you actually connect with, and actually quite difficult to try playing one that’s not for you. Sometimes you just gotta get smaller strings, or change the action, or get a new pick, but it’s important to try some adjustments if you don’t like how playing feels. I’ve had a habit of working to harder than necessary, like pushing too hard on the strings or being an “aggressive strummer”. I’ve chilled out a little bit, but just know you might be working harder than you need to if you’re that uncomfortable, and playing through an extreme level of discomfort might be more resilience than is necessary. Real life talk about this… I used to play without a pick. Then I was at a showcase in Wilmington and I strummed right through my thumb skin and bled all over the guitar. The crowd loved it… but yea, I used to play pick-less. I fixed that shortly after.
You also have to have a certain amount of IDGAF. If you don’t have the IDGAF then that resilience is gonna run out that much quicker. You can’t make everyone happy with art. Not everybody likes your stuff. That has to be ok if you want to remain true to your creative self. It’s important to have balance with this though, because while some advice is unsolicited and not coming from a valid source, there is some help that could make your life way easier. You just really can’t listen to ALL of the criticism you run into.
So much of getting gigs is who you know. It doesn’t always matter how good you are. There’s still gonna be some artists who just have an “in” with somebody and make it because of that. Personally, that sounds like a big fat dumb ride if you’re always on someone else’s wave and don’t actually have the talent to be there. Just keep in mind though that when someone doesn’t return your call or email or fax, whatever it is, it isn’t “because you’re not a good musician” or anything like that. Pinning down bookers is like… everyone’s covered in coconut oil, you’re in a bouncy house, there are trap doors, and the DJ is too loud for anybody to hear what you’re saying. That’s the party where the bookers are. They’re all drunk slipping in oil yelling “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” really loud and the guy next to him is just shaking his head, pointing at his ears mouthing “I CAN’T HEAR YOU” over and over. It’s hectic and it’s the only place to find them. Not every experience is like that, but do your best not to be discouraged when you don’t get a response and you’ve done everything in your power besides finding out where they live and knocking on their door. Sometimes they get 1000 emails in a day and just don’t get to yours. Booking gigs isn’t my favorite thing to do. Just know that 99.9% of the time it’s not personal if you get no response. Don’t let that defeat you!
I know this says 3… but I have one more thing. Everything is practice. Every day is practice to be the best version of yourself. Just because yesterday really sucked it doesn’t mean that’s where the bar needs to be set for today. Neuroplasticity is a cool thing. If you’re in a rut then you can stay there, or you can decide you don’t like the rut and you want to change your habits to get out of that headspace. I definitely want to acknowledge that it’s easier to say that then it is to do it. We will never be “perfect” in all perceptions existing around us, but you can definitely be your best. Your best might be different every day. Sometimes you need to eat a whole frozen pizza and watch True Crime. That’s ok. Take a break. Too much change at once is a really stressful experience. Just know, though, that you can’t live in that if you want the best version of yourself to join the olympic iceskating team. You gotta go ice skate if you wanna do that. Ya dig?
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I am looking to collaborate. I really want a manager. I’ve made my own website, run my own social media, make my own merchandise, usually make my own flyers, book my own gigs. I’m not the best at time management. I also have a million ideas per second running through my brain. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is go out in to the world and talk to people about booking gigs because I just want to sit in my room and write music forever. I do really want to work with someone on my organization and the business side of this. It’s not my strong point. I’m looking for someone organized, efficient, and able to communicate directly and transparently. Also easygoing and patient, because like I said, it’s not my strong point. I want to know what is going on and be able to trust the people I work with. I also am open to meeting with someone if they don’t have the time/space for commitment in being my manager if you want to just show me some helpful things. Like… coaching I guess?
I am looking for a photographer at the moment as well so I can get some new professional photos.
I also am usually down to jam :]
If you would like to connect with me, my email is [email protected].
Contact Info:
- Website: the-jgoods-experience.com
- Instagram: @the_j.goods_experience
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/the.jgoods.experience/?locale=ms_MY
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZBTttU0LwG9__Oi-WE6DTA
- Other: SPOTIFY – https://open.spotify.com/artist/4ipfrAodkub0ppuqcwlvoC?si=3S9QhGw3TxuVi4FTCHg__w
Image Credits
Loch Ness Album Artwork by J. Goods Summit Sirens flyer done by J. Goods
